AIBU to question a pool asking my four-year-old daughter to cover up?

A young child doesn't have a gender. They have a sex.

Why isn’t it appropriate? Can you explain?

Surprising so many adults have never seen a young girl with just swim bottoms on…. Perhaps you have seen them but just didn’t realise they were girls, given that many look exactly like boys at that age? I think it’s really weird to expect a young girl to dress in a way that assumes their non-existent breasts need to be covered! And agree it’s a form of sexualisation: sounds like the lady you said it to didn’t understand the term unfortunately.

So should 4yo boys wear a type of swimwear that covers their torso too?

Taking all thoughts of gender and sexualising out of this, please do consider that a brightly coloured suit that covers more of her body eg with a swim t shirt or a one piece suit is much safer in terms of visibility should she get into difficulty.

maybe when there is something to cover? or when her daughter expresses an opinion?

You are arguing about by connecting it to sexualising things. Seriously sexualising children doesnt have anything to do with paedophiles. It’s a debate about mini me clothes etc..

It’s why pre puberty nipples must be hidden on girls not boys at 4. It’s restriction and difference. It’s inequality and sexualisation of girls

OP said she was wearing ‘girls bikini bottoms’

One piece swimwear for young boys is very widely available, the same t shirt and short shape that is available for girls.

I asked op this one page 1 but she didn't answer because she had other views to air.

My guess it's because the bottoms were a pink frilly type thing.

YABU. At what age will you tell your DD to wear a costume? Its not appropriate I have never seen this and I used to take DC to swimming lessons each week.

What do 4 year old girls have that 4 year old boys don’t?

I don’t think she sexualised your DD, it draws attention. You bought a 2 pack bikini bottoms from H&M (designed to mix and match with tops) - I know the kind and they will 100% look like something is missing from the top. For that reason you were told to put a complete set on. It’s unnecessary attention drawing for other swimmers. You might think it’s all innocent and great and super convenient for you, but you don’t know how anyone else feels about that and that’s why the rules are there. What is the cut off point at which they say girls top now must go on? When breast tissue is 0.5cm raised and above? No - the rule must therefore apply to all girls to avoid nonsense arguments.

I took DCs swimming last weekend actually and they had a poster with pictures of what swimwear was permitted.

Totally normal to have just the swimming bottoms at that age.

One piece is just an absolutely unneccessary wet fabric (especially when going to the toilet and having to put it back on afterwards).

And, technically, the one piece is "sexualising" small girls the same way as bikini top does - it is an extra fabric covering upper torso which boys don't have to bother with, but girls for some mysterious reasons are supposed to.

There was a similar post last month, I think.

I think bikini tops look a bit daft on very small children. I'd say they were the 'fashion' rather than any kind of cover up. I think the woman was out of order with her attitude. Complain.

I remember we all used to wear swimwear like this as girls in the 90s. There’s nothing to cover up it’s ridiculous. It’s so much more comfortable to swim without a top I don’t blame you for putting her just in the bottoms.

In the 1960s, it wasn't that unusual for children of both sexes just to wear (non-swimming) briefs at the beach if there had been a last-minute decision to go there.

Not just a Scottish phenomenon - a quick Google shows the same thing in sunscreen ads from the US.

Now that we know more about sun damage, I'd say that both boys and girls should certainly wear a rash vest when swimming outside.

Well she was wearing ‘girls bikini bottoms’ which would be a give away

She was just expecting standard swimming pool clothing to be worn.

I feel like I’ve read this before? But anyway, how would they know she was a girl?

Deja-vu. I’m sure I read this exact same post a month or 2 ago.

I understand that it is for protecting modesty, which includes but is not restricted to sexual modesty. In our culture we only care about sexual modesty, but other cultures have a broader view of modesty. Why are you asking?

Most people if their child is swimming outdoors will put a rash vest on them (both sexes) or even a long type swimsuit that’s more like a wetsuit but swimsuit material because of skin cancer.

swimming in a pool is obviously different (less risk of skin cancer for a start) but it’s normally just easier and cheaper to have one or two outfits.

i’m hoping you wouldn’t let her run around for extended periods in the sun with just pants/bikini bottoms on. A rash vest or sun cream is needed.

Nope cannot see that under 2-8 year old swimwear

Can see these