AIBU to question a pool asking my four-year-old daughter to cover up?

So poolside employees shouldn"t be enforcing dress code? Maybe just say to them "There is nothing in your T&C that mentions dress code for swimming, can you give me more details on why you are asking please?" If they get nippy just ask for their name so you can link them in when you contact head office, that should get a response/reaction one way or the other?

I read the Ts&Cs and the guidance of the company running the pool, and there's nothing at all about what children should wear in the pool (apart from something about swim nappies).

In some cases that’s definitely true, but all kids, like adults, are different, and what some of us find comfortable others don’t. If a small child is comfortable swimming in pants, let them. It’s neither causing harm nor preventing it.

Fair enough, but they must have reasoning for that at some level in the company structure?

Not really, just on what they allow.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5555136-aibu-to-think-a-toddler-should-not-need-to-cover-their-top-at-a-swimming-pool?page=5&reply=154508826

The company running the pool seem to disagree on that one?.

All of mine have zips up the front. Feet in like shorts zip and viola. Both my girls could do this no problem, my 3 year old puts it on and off herself. They are handy, much better than the standard ones. Just a thought if they require you have one.

The appropriate age is when the girl wants to cover up.

I don’t thinks there’s a risk per se at 4, but if 4yo can be topless then why not older? How about 6/8/10yo. At what age does it becomes awkward, risky, inappropriate? It’s just easier to say girls wear a swimsuit than ask staff to apply that judgement.

You talk about forcing her into a swimsuit but why don’t you just tell her this is what we wear when we go swimming.

A child has absolutely no idea about the correct attire for swimming and would swim in their pjs if you told them that’s what you wear in the pool. A swimsuit or shorts changes absolutely nothing of the child’s fun. Why does this hurt the child? It hurt the parents ego and the parents sense of choice and control. The child couldn’t care less.

How does a swimsuit protect a child? Do you think someone who is sexually attracted to a child is only attracted to a naked child? That’s as stupid as imaging rapists will be deterred by trousers, or tampons, or being pregnant or being at a grave or being their own child. Pretending a swimsuit or bikini is keeping a child safe is false consciousness and only hurts the child who wants to enjoy themselves on the beach or the pool.

Sexualising a child has nothing to do with sexual attraction, it’s the perception of them being a sexual being and therefore needing/others needing to respond accordingly. Ironically the idea that 7 year olds need to be ‘modest’ by wearing hijab is exactly the same attitude displayed by the worker here. A four year old is not dressed ‘inappropriately’ for swimming unless she’s wearing outdoor clothes or shoes.

I think the angle of my child can’t put it on because it’s so difficult is nonsense. The angle really is I don’t believe I should,
don’t need to use the child no being able to cope with it because that’s silly. There is no physical difference between shorts or a swimsuit. The OP just seems annoyed that they were asked to do something and they feel slighted. If so just take it up with the company. Opinions are just opinions and some will agree and some will don’t, what’s that going to achieve? The company may come back with the policy that girls need to be covered, if so go swimming somewhere else.

Many pages in, I really don't think we will ever find out the answer to this aside from the fact it is UnCoNvEnTiOnAl... Mind boggles

Fair enough, as you said the main "risk" in a public pool is that someone is watching them not that someone will abduct them, there used to be signs up back in the day in some pools that said "We don"t swim in your toilet, please don"t pee in our pool!" They should make signs that say "If your kids are not in the pool, please don"t watch kids in the pool!" But of course that breaks all sorts of PC taboos and the corporates are all about just making money so they would never do that, I think at that age it should be down to parents how the child is dressed for swimming, to enforce dress codes for boys/girls is obviously controversial now, just look at this thread FFS!

Ok, you should ask the company for full clarification on this, bearing in mind that if the staff member had their own agenda they could get sacked.

But why would you not want to cover your child’s chest regardless when I put my child who is also 4 into a swimming costume it doesn’t make her chest stand out or her private area it just covers it because I get the size that fits and isn’t too tight or too baggy. I’d never put my daughter in a pool in just pants

So confused by all the comments saying a 4 year old should be wearing a bikini top or one piece costume in order to cover their chest area, just because they're a girl. Why?

The reality is that most sexual abuse happens in the family unit, it is family members or people close/known to the family, how on earth could a random pervert in a public pool get "access" to a child, unless the parents were negligent and let the child wander off on their own unsupervised?
This has happened of course, and children have been snatched off the street etc. (there was a very disturbing documentary on one of the crime channels recently about a young boy that was snatched, picked up by someone in a car,and later found dead, on a street in London on the day of the Charles/Diana wedding because his Dad let him go to the local shop on his own on their way home from the celebrations)
The basic solution IMO to the pervert problem (in membership gyms/pools anyway) is to have separate pools for parents with children and another pool for adults, so basically unless you have kids in the pool you don"t need to sit and watch kids in the pool! How difficult is that?