AIBU to question a pool asking my four-year-old daughter to cover up?

Really? Have you never been to a public pool in the UK before?

I used to do triathlons and the triathlon style swim suit was worn by both men and women (and girls and boys for the shorter triathlons they were allowed to do).

many competition swimmers will have similar.

https://www.decathlon.co.uk/sports/triathlon/triathlon-swimming?pdt-highlight=09c9c302-f955-4877-9cd4-5911b3d56e19&vc=c251c22&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=gb_t-partbra_ct-shopp_n-mp-sale_ts-pro_f-cv_o-roas_spd-msp_spu-msp_sp-msp_pt-mkp_pnl-mkp_l-en_pp-gads_bm-roa_pr-cpc_&utm_term=n-mp-sale_ts-pro_spd-msp_spu-msp_sp-msp_pt-mkp_l-en&network=g&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21901925655&gbraid=0AAAAADygKq0Vw00nH8Zngt_z35OVLXyCH&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIn5ap3JbJlgMVUolQBh30ogzpEAQYASABEgJ65fD_BwE

Which the OP would presumably use when spending prolonged period on the beach/outside, but which is absolutely pointless in the inside swimming pool.

When I was a child in the 1960s, those of us in 'deprived' areas were sometimes given 'sunray treament' - boys and girls together, ranged round a sunlamp. We were all just in our underpants.

I know for a fact that that the group contained both sexes, because one of the other children was a boy who was in my reception class and I only knew him from school.

Apparently, the treatment is now thought to be an underlying cause of some skin cancers in my generation. (It was more popular in the 1950s; I'm not sure precisely when the practice ceased, but I know that I got the treatment in 1965, based on when I started school.)

Here you go. You didn’t scroll down to the “Shop the Set” section like @ToKittyornottoKitty mentioned.

They are sold separately to make more money, not because they think people are eager to put their young daughters in only bottoms. Notice that while the bottoms come in a pair, a lot of the tops are sold separately which means two more sales to complete both sets.

That’s not true…a trip to pee then back to the pool is awful with extra fabric to draw up over your torso and onto your shoulders.

A normal swimsuit for a 4 year old is just pants

Now THAT is disingenuous, swim wear is for indoors and out. Loads of people use one pieces for young boys and young girls. And I clearly stated what style I meant which was not a traditional female swimming costume.

Each to their own. Its not something I would do with my child. You don't know who is lurking around and yes I know they may look at boys also. But I just think in a public pool its no trouble to put a cozzi on. You do you though.

Yes. A young boy swimming without bottoms is inappropriate. If we say this, are we "sexualising" the boy?

No? No. We aren't. We are protecting his modesty because his genitals are private. This is not sexualising him.

The staff member thinks girls' top halves are private and they need to protect their modesty by covering up. You may disagree (I do) but she's no more sexualising her than we are sexualising that boy.

Can you see the hypocrisy yet or is the chain of logic broken somewhere? Shall I try to break it down clearer?

My point is more generally around the logistics of allowing top on and top off for some and not others. Some girls hit puberty faster than others, some will not grow breasts until later on. There isn’t a cut off age for no tops with girls. So it’s easier to enforce the rule for all, and not have to police which kid is pre-pubescent enough to wear knickers only.

That's disingenious.

I've never seen a boy in an equivalent of the tylical girls one piece swimming costume (looking like tank top and knickers together), and quick google doesn't show it would be a thing.

Yes, there is overall/shorts overall styled beach wear for both sexes, which are typically used outdoor for sun protection, but that's irrelevant in a swimming pool.

But the OP and her kids were inside a gym/leisure centre.

Not out in the open in direct sunlight?

The poster I quoted said: I think ok on the beach; not in a leisure centre.
I don’t think it’s sexualising your child; it’s normal dress code for swimming.

So should 4yo boys wear a type of swimwear that covers their torso when swimming inside a leisure centre?

It's no faff with a normal swimsuit. My 4yr old easily puts her on herself, even my 3 year old can.

The drama 😅

My kids have never gone swimming without a full swimsuit on. It would not even occur to me to not put a full swimsuit on them. As a victim of child SA ive talk them about what parts are private since they were little. I was being abused at 2.

A young girl at my kid's holiday club insisted on going topless. The club changed their policy overnight so that all children regardless of gender had to wear a swimming top. PITA for me as a mum of 2 boys who have never owned rash vests as my kids were then banned from the pool until I bought an item of clothing that was deemed to be a rash vest (apparently quick dry sports t shirts made of the same material weren't suitable 🙄)

Meanwhile other threads on MN argue other countries have awful culture for women and the UK has achieved equality…but not for 4 year olds it seems…girls must cover themselves

Seeing their bottom is inappropriate, for little girls or little boys

Seeing their nipples is not inappropriate, for little girls or little boys.

No hypocrisy.

Whole country is basically full of lunatics. No other European country is like this.Yanbu.

I’m with you op, a child’s chest is in no way inappropriate boys or girls. I’d be very surprised if this was the swimming pool’s policy and is more than likely the opinion of this staff member.

Lots of them seem to.

like a pp I grew up in the 80s and regularly swam wearing very little (as did the boys).

people are much much more aware of skin cancer these days and children of both sexes have one piece type swimsuits that cover a lot of skin.

it’s a lot easier than reapplying sun cream every 30 mins.

Those h&m pant sets all have a corresponding long sleeve top to buy too...

I bet you top dollar there isn't a policy which says pre-pubescent kids need to cover up their chest. The "appropriate attire" means don't go swimming in your denim dungarees. Nothing more.
Maybe your pool is very progressive in that regard but I have never seen a poster in any of the pools I used in the past.
And as to how everyone else fells... where do we draw the line? Maybe I feel offended that the guys in my pool don't shave their body hair. Should we have a policy for that too? Feelings are just feelings. Nobody has died from having them and most adults are capable of dealing with theirs without making it into a H&S issue.