AIBU to question a pool asking my four-year-old daughter to cover up?

Are you for real? If my female child was in difficulty, would I have a problem with a male lifeguard touching her chest?! Presumably to give chest compressions?! No, funnily enough, I would have no problem with the man saving the life of my child 🙄🙄🙄

Exactly, it's such an illogical mindset that saus that treating girls and boys differently in any way is "sexualising".

Girls and boys are different and have different societal expectations. Yes, some of them are shit, like girls being expected to help with chores more (nb not in our house). Some of them are harmless, like girls having long hair or wearing skirts or indeed one piece swimsuits.

None of those need to be sexualising.

The member of staff was being ridiculous, and I agree with your comment it is ‘sexualizing’ a prepubescent child, there is no difference in body type at that age. I can see from many comments of here that most people haven’t questioned why small girls are in bikinis and I really think they should have a think about it as it is extremely odd.

I remember reading a similar story with a young girl at the swimming pool. Strange common sense has gone out the window.

Don't like seeing young girls wandering around in just bottoms in a beach/swimming setting. Also dislike them with a bikini top on as that is totally inappropriate!

What a fine example of contradictory logic. And it only took two sentences.

You either see very young girls chests as having sexual characteristics, or you don't. You can't have it both ways

That's a fair point in the other direction, thinking about firefighters or mechanics etc struggling to find uniforms that fit as they've been traditionally designed for a male physique.

Same in Germany. Bikini bottoms are fine for a toddler/very young girl.

How would you feel if your child got into difficulty and required a male life guard to intervene would you have any issue with them touching her naked chest. Also perhaps it's protecting the staff from any accusations of inappropriate touching.

In fairness those zip up almost wet suits but made of swimsuit material kids suits are what all pre school kids round here wear, boys and girls

I would find a bikini on a 4 year old strange but for a pool would probably expect a one piece swimsuit. But I see you got shorts and rash vest for holiday and then left the top off for pool and that actually makes perfect sense.

Most little girls I see in the pool wear a one piece costume. I very rarely see a little girl in a bikini.

Why would you expose your child like this? FWIW my boys also wear swimming tops or all in ones.

I’m all for women doing whatever the hell they want for the sake of feminism but why would you want to draw any type of attention to a 4YO girl? Whether it’s sexual or just plain ‘oh that’s weird’, because it’s clearly uncommon in a UK public swimming pool, why would you want that sort of attention for your child just to make a point?

I have genuinely never seen just bikini bottoms for a 4 yr old, you say you're surprised it's the norm but take a look around when at the pool, how often do you actually see topless kids of this age? Also just bikini bottoms is way less coverage than a boy in swim shorts. Would you have a boy on just Speedos? That feels wrong for a pre school kid too

Totally disagree..unless you want all pre puberty nipples covered then we are back to 1920s suits for the boys too. Those ones with the horizontal stripes. Unless we ARE sexualising girls ???

@Octavia64 it seems though that girls stuff is often tighter, shaped and less practical/covered up. Why? It's hard to argue that womens t shirts accentuating the waist, or trousers being figure hugging etc isn't to make them more attractive/shapley, so when you see the same attributes in clothes for little girls it has the same connotations.

I remember doing a photoshoot with an NCT group once and the group leader pointed out one of the boys was in a girls romper (not in a bad way, we were talking about this very topic and she used that romper as an example). The parents were really confused as to why this blue pinstripe romper was a 'girls' one. It was because it was nipped in at the waist and had short elasticated legs which stopped right at the top of the thigh rather than knee length legs. Creating a more 'shapely' figure, on a newborn 🤷🏼‍♀️

Don't get me started on that girls stuff is often made of a thinner material and less covering when most of the girls I know feel the cold more than boys. Surely that would mean we get warmer clothes....but they don't look as good, so shows where the priorities are.

Kids that age often just wear a pair of knickers to go in the sea or a paddling pool in the park. They become more self conscious way before they need to once they begin school and tend to self police what they want to wear anyway.....usually something emblazoned with some gaudy Disney princess but it was unecceasary of the member of staff to butt in and make it a thing. I mean maybe if you were topless but not a child.

I had trouble convincing my eldest DD to wear clothes until she was about 8 so I understand what the OP means! She also wore just shorts at the pool the “can’t put my finger on it but it’s wrong” brigade here would have clutched their pearls as she liked “boy” style bottoms and had short hair so was indistinguishable from any other little boy.

YANBU OP.

It's not the norm for any logical reason. It's just kiddy fashion.

If the leisure centre insists on a four year old girl covering her chest, I would demand to be told their reasoning. Because there is absolutely no logical reason to cover four year old nipples on either sex.

Not in my world and I swam in competitions, galas as a kid, Mum a swim teacher…maybe my torso is too long lol

Both mine wore some kind of top at that age, kids get cold even in indoor pool, so they'd wear like a zip up swimsuit with shorts and short sleeves. Most kids I know wore the same. My eldest is an 8 yr old boy and lately he's 50/50 just board shorts or board shorts and rash vest. My 5 yr old girl loves clothes so has every configuration of swimsuit but no bikinis because wee kids in bikinis give me the ick. I think you underestimate how cold they get when so young. And yeah getting in and out of swimwear is a pain but it's not that hard

We aren't. But at what point do you tell a girl they need a top on? Who polices that? It's easier to say swimsuits for all girls.

Ok. So anything anywhere that is different between girls and boys is sexualising them.

so if teen girls have shirts that are cut to actually fit, as opposed to having to wear men’s ones, that’s sexualising them. I mean I think I’m in favour of clothes being cut to fit people’s actual body shapes, and god knows me and my dd have had enough trouble with uniforms designed by and for men, so I think on the whole I’d like stuff that is designed for and fits women and girls, so yes I’m in favour of sexualisation.

one size/one template fits all has a bloody lot to answer for.

I’ve never ever seen any child at a pool in the UK just wearing briefs. Just take normal swimwear, either swim shorts or a swimming costume. Then you won’t get unwanted attention and drama!

But why should it be different for a boy and a girl when they look exactly the same at that age, and do not have developed secondary sexual characteristics?