Page 5 | To think beige buffets get a raw deal and have their place?

Iceplater · 2026-08-30T19:02:05+00:00

I recently went to the funeral of an elderly relative and the wake was in a working mens club. The buffet came out and it was a sea of beige - sausage rolls, quiche, open sandwiches, vol a vents (which I have seen for years), jam tarts, Mr Kipling. And it was glorious. I moved away from my home town and I’ve become a terrible middle-class fanny. This took me right back to the 80s and Sundays at my Grandparents when they put on a “spread”. I wouldn’t want it every day but it was amazing (despite it being a funeral). AIBU?

DrNeededInInflatorRoom · 31/08/2026 14:20

They definitely have their place, especially if people are drinking it will keep stomachs lined.

NavyBlueJeans · 31/08/2026 14:15

SassyLemonFish · 31/08/2026 14:04

Thing is, many elderly people at a typical wake can’t eat rich, spicy foods or lots of uncooked veg. Soft sandwiches, quiche, cake and similar foods can be easier for somebody with dentures or chewing difficulties than raw carrot, cabbage, nuts, seeds or a very crunchy salad. Older people are also more likely to experience chewing or swallowing problems, so sandwiches and quiche are good options. Even NHS dietetics advice for elderly people advocates what many might think is the ‘beige buffet’.

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You're right to point this out because it's something that people might not think about when catering for different age groups.

Directly171717171717 · 31/08/2026 14:13

SassyLemonFish · 31/08/2026 14:04

Thing is, many elderly people at a typical wake can’t eat rich, spicy foods or lots of uncooked veg. Soft sandwiches, quiche, cake and similar foods can be easier for somebody with dentures or chewing difficulties than raw carrot, cabbage, nuts, seeds or a very crunchy salad. Older people are also more likely to experience chewing or swallowing problems, so sandwiches and quiche are good options. Even NHS dietetics advice for elderly people advocates what many might think is the ‘beige buffet’.

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It also tastes a lot better.

Directly171717171717 · 31/08/2026 14:08

TooOrangey · 30/08/2026 20:29

I think a lot of elderly people love buffets like that. I’d think it was utterly revolting because I’m poncey.

You think sandwiches and quiche are revolting?

SassyLemonFish · 31/08/2026 14:04

TooOrangey · 30/08/2026 21:18

Charcuterie boards, grazing platters, smoked salmon blinis, caprese salads, bruschetta with various toppings, fancy canapés…

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Thing is, many elderly people at a typical wake can’t eat rich, spicy foods or lots of uncooked veg. Soft sandwiches, quiche, cake and similar foods can be easier for somebody with dentures or chewing difficulties than raw carrot, cabbage, nuts, seeds or a very crunchy salad. Older people are also more likely to experience chewing or swallowing problems, so sandwiches and quiche are good options. Even NHS dietetics advice for elderly people advocates what many might think is the ‘beige buffet’.

Goinggreymammy · 30/08/2026 23:42

Love a buffet like this every now and then. We have one in the run up to Christmas but I go even lower.... I spread it all out on a picnic blanket next to the Christmas tree and we have a picnic in the sitting room!

MaRhodes · 30/08/2026 22:37

terrible middle-class fanny

Toastersandkettles · 30/08/2026 22:35

I love a beige buffet. But I'm obviously very working class because I don't even know what other buffet options there would be.

ChamonixMountainBum · 30/08/2026 22:33

Evaka · 30/08/2026 20:09

I just saw pictures of a spread at an Irish party and there were heaped bowls of mahogany brown cocktail sausages. I nearly came...

Well that escalated fast!

Original poster

Iceplater · 30/08/2026 22:30

PlacidPenelope · 30/08/2026 21:53

A comment I read on here which has always stuck with me about those gross buffets where everything is just seemingly thrown at the table with no division was The ham is touching the party rings and that sums up the sheer horror of those buffets for me.

Give me a good old beige buffet where the food is served properly on separate plates.

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I went to a wedding which had one of those table top things where everything is put on an attractive pile together and within around 30 seconds of people tucking in it just looked horrendous, a total stomach churning embarrassment.

OP posts:

Drivingmissrangey · 30/08/2026 22:25

My gallbladder is twitching just thinking about it.

Nightnova · 30/08/2026 22:21

QueenOfTheWasps · 30/08/2026 22:19

My cousin did this for her 60th. Working men’s club, cheap bar, beige buffet, what’s not to like? Great slabs of orange and yellow cheese, Ritz crackers, tinned salmon sandwiches, cheese and pickle, egg mayo made with salad cream, sliced tinned ham with mustard all on white plastic bread. DH said sniffily, you can take the girl out of Tottenham but you can’t take Tottenham out of the girl.

And you are still with him?

QueenOfTheWasps · 30/08/2026 22:19

My cousin did this for her 60th. Working men’s club, cheap bar, beige buffet, what’s not to like? Great slabs of orange and yellow cheese, Ritz crackers, tinned salmon sandwiches, cheese and pickle, egg mayo made with salad cream, sliced tinned ham with mustard all on white plastic bread. DH said sniffily, you can take the girl out of Tottenham but you can’t take Tottenham out of the girl.

Frillysweetpea · 30/08/2026 22:17

Depends on the quality. Soggy quiche bottoms, sausage rolls with minimal meat and greasy chicken drumsticks - eughh. But a well made quiche, good quality pork in the sausages with delightful flaking pastry and crisp, breaded chicken sounds fab (although perhaps leaning a bit MC and fanny-ish perhaps?)

harriethoyle · 30/08/2026 22:14

I’d call this a classic funeral buffet and I’d be jostling for position with you in the serving line @Iceplater - best enjoyed at the funeral of someone you were fond of but not super close to so you don’t lose your appetite.

Laurmolonlabe · 30/08/2026 22:09

I just did this for my mother's funeral- but I made it all myself- it went down very well.

YYURYYUCICYYUR4ME · 30/08/2026 22:05

A beige spread well made is cracking comfort food and good pastry and yummy fillings hit the spot. It's the pale beige heavily processed food that disappoints imo. However I do also like a bit of veg colour and crunch, alongside a good selection of pickles to really complete the buffet!!

Kevinbaconsrealwife · 30/08/2026 21:57

TheEarlofButties · 30/08/2026 20:37

I’d also need a Sara Lee gateau, recently defrosted and still on the cardboard

Oh yes, a Black Forest one at that ….x

RealEagle · 30/08/2026 21:57

TheEarlofButties · 30/08/2026 20:37

I’d also need a Sara Lee gateau, recently defrosted and still on the cardboard

Wow everyone loved a sara lee

PlacidPenelope · 30/08/2026 21:53

Dandeloosha · 30/08/2026 20:59

Or those gross buffets where all the foods just sit on the table touching each other while everyone flicks through it for the best bits. Gross.

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A comment I read on here which has always stuck with me about those gross buffets where everything is just seemingly thrown at the table with no division was The ham is touching the party rings and that sums up the sheer horror of those buffets for me.

Give me a good old beige buffet where the food is served properly on separate plates.

AbacusCat · 30/08/2026 21:50

Yes, I like a traditional buffet. Some non-traditional buffets are great, others might look fancy but the food is low quality.

Traditional sandwiches such as tinned salmon, egg mayo, coronation chicken - bring them on! Sausage rolls, yes please. Mushroom vol-au-vent - don't mind if I do.

When I was a child, you always got that kind of fare at parties - the kind of party where you played pass the parcel while dad spun records on the music centre.

Happy days!

JaceLancs · 30/08/2026 21:40

I’m also GF and dread a beige buffet
Went to one recently and were told there would be GF options
It wasn’t a help yourself buffet - so I got one chicken leg, a slice of ham and half a boiled egg with about 6 prawns
Fruit salad was only dessert option
Went home hungry and went to chip shop

bababamama · 30/08/2026 21:37

The sandwiches do contain salad often, I’m n expert on funeral teas, occupational hazard

EnglishRose26 · 30/08/2026 21:34

TooOrangey · 30/08/2026 21:18

Charcuterie boards, grazing platters, smoked salmon blinis, caprese salads, bruschetta with various toppings, fancy canapés…

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Serving wine from their own vineyard in France. Home grown vegetables with a drizzle of home made pesto for those that stopped eating solids in 1985.

Flannelfeet · 30/08/2026 21:28

Fibonaccithesequel · 30/08/2026 20:57

Just the “middle class fanny”
sounds very Scottish 😁

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Maybe there was irn bru? 🕵️‍♀️😭🤣 (im scottish)