To think beige buffets get a raw deal and have their place?

Iceplater · 2026-08-30T19:02:05+00:00

I recently went to the funeral of an elderly relative and the wake was in a working mens club. The buffet came out and it was a sea of beige - sausage rolls, quiche, open sandwiches, vol a vents (which I have seen for years), jam tarts, Mr Kipling. And it was glorious. I moved away from my home town and I’ve become a terrible middle-class fanny. This took me right back to the 80s and Sundays at my Grandparents when they put on a “spread”. I wouldn’t want it every day but it was amazing (despite it being a funeral). AIBU?

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 03/09/2026 23:06

03cg73 · 01/09/2026 21:05

We call them freezer picnics in my house 😂

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Nanny Gough’s special spread in our house x
Its lovely x

03cg73 · 01/09/2026 21:05

AitkenDrum1970 · 30/08/2026 20:46

It’s called a ‘golden banquet’ in our house 😂 not that we have one that often!!

Edited

We call them freezer picnics in my house 😂

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 01/09/2026 18:17

HorseandHeron · 01/09/2026 14:51

Fancy cheeses and artisan chutneys with sourdough rye and charcoal crackers, olives in herbs and chilli or stuffed with almonds, soughdough and fougasse fresh baked breads, middle eastern dips like baba ganoush and home-made humous, salads, home-made Mediterranean goat's cheese and roast pepper tarts or pissaladiere or Jamie's feta and fresh spinach and mint filo pastry, home made plum crumble and tiramisu or passionfruit meringues.

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I'd enjoy all of that, but as has already been pointed out the people attending funerals are brought together not by being friends with similar tastes in food and so on but by some sort of connection to the deceased - neighbours, colleagues, relatives, friends from long ago, etc etc and because it's a funeral, if the deceased was older many of the mourners are likely to be older people too. By no means all of them would enjoy a buffet of this sort and some may have medical reasons for needing something easier to chew, swallow and digest.

HexInductionHour · 01/09/2026 16:29

Sartre · 01/09/2026 07:27

I love a good beige buffet too provided there’s veggie options, it’s no good if it’s just meat sarnies and pastries… Would die for some cheese and pineapple on a stick!

i sometimes make these for myself using tinned pineapple and a fork - so enjoyable

HorseandHeron · 01/09/2026 16:23

Anarchy99 · 01/09/2026 15:35

Well that’s one way of ensuring people don’t eat all the food.

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😂😂😂

Floatlikeafeather2 · 01/09/2026 16:16

Fibonaccithesequel · 30/08/2026 20:57

Just the “middle class fanny”
sounds very Scottish 😁

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Naw, it disnae!

likelysuspect · 01/09/2026 16:05

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 31/08/2026 20:18

The faux naive misunderstanding at what constitutes a beige buffet might be one of the most MN things I've ever read 😂.

Yes. Brown rice and quinoa. Brown and beige in colour = beige buffet!!!!

Anarchy99 · 01/09/2026 15:35

HorseandHeron · 01/09/2026 14:51

Fancy cheeses and artisan chutneys with sourdough rye and charcoal crackers, olives in herbs and chilli or stuffed with almonds, soughdough and fougasse fresh baked breads, middle eastern dips like baba ganoush and home-made humous, salads, home-made Mediterranean goat's cheese and roast pepper tarts or pissaladiere or Jamie's feta and fresh spinach and mint filo pastry, home made plum crumble and tiramisu or passionfruit meringues.

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Well that’s one way of ensuring people don’t eat all the food.

Holeymoley28 · 01/09/2026 15:20

We always do this for new years.

Though we add some spring rolls, pakoras and samosas.

Nice and easy all prepped in advance.

HorseandHeron · 01/09/2026 14:51

Magi84 · 01/09/2026 10:37

Good question. I too would like to hear what one serves at these oh so upmarket buffets

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Fancy cheeses and artisan chutneys with sourdough rye and charcoal crackers, olives in herbs and chilli or stuffed with almonds, soughdough and fougasse fresh baked breads, middle eastern dips like baba ganoush and home-made humous, salads, home-made Mediterranean goat's cheese and roast pepper tarts or pissaladiere or Jamie's feta and fresh spinach and mint filo pastry, home made plum crumble and tiramisu or passionfruit meringues.

Magi84 · 01/09/2026 10:37

Nightnova · 30/08/2026 20:40

What do the oh so superior MC serve on their buffets then?

Good question. I too would like to hear what one serves at these oh so upmarket buffets

Anarchy99 · 01/09/2026 07:49

CoffeeandCakeBreak · 01/09/2026 07:30

Not for me. I am mostly gluten free (can tolerate small amounts) but all that bread and pastry would make me really unwell, so there wouldn't really be anything suitable to eat there. Gluten free bread is awful as well. Luckily I can eat sourdough, but that probably wasn't as your beige buffet!

So what sort of buffet would you prefer?

Anarchy99 · 01/09/2026 07:46

A beige buffet means I actually get to eat something at an event! I have a limited diet due to AuDHD so I’m all in favour

CoffeeandCakeBreak · 01/09/2026 07:30

Not for me. I am mostly gluten free (can tolerate small amounts) but all that bread and pastry would make me really unwell, so there wouldn't really be anything suitable to eat there. Gluten free bread is awful as well. Luckily I can eat sourdough, but that probably wasn't as your beige buffet!

Sartre · 01/09/2026 07:27

I love a good beige buffet too provided there’s veggie options, it’s no good if it’s just meat sarnies and pastries… Would die for some cheese and pineapple on a stick!

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 01/09/2026 07:25

Iceplater · 31/08/2026 23:06

Not much comment on the openness of the sandwiches. Half a bap / muffin / roll (whatever you call it down your way), egg mayo, and cress for a classy topping. No lid. I have only even seen sandwiches of this grandeur at funerals.

Edited

Sounds good. When I was at school I had a Saturday job in a cafe that specialised in Danish open sandwiches. I don't know that a Dane would have recognised much of what we sold, but I loved them. My favourite was one made with a slice of brown bread, probably buttered, topped with a lettuce leaf, a slice of ham, a slice of liver pate and some fried mushrooms as a garnish on top.

EconomyClassRockstar · 01/09/2026 00:14

HexInductionHour · 01/09/2026 00:09

@EconomyClassRockstar sadly, Vol au Vent cases are really hard to get outside of Christmas

I can use the filo shells in the freezer section instead. I live in the US and have never seen them used anywhere so a vol au vent rip off is as good as anything!

HexInductionHour · 01/09/2026 00:09

@EconomyClassRockstar sadly, Vol au Vent cases are really hard to get outside of Christmas

HexInductionHour · 01/09/2026 00:07

LindorDoubleChoc · 30/08/2026 20:33

Lol at jam tarts. I'm so middle class I'd forgotten that jam tarts ever existed.

According to ‘The Crown’ (so it must be true) Jam Tarts were Princess Margarets favourites.

Thedogswhiskers · 31/08/2026 23:26

My mum’s contribution to the funeral spread was always a mound of asparagus rolls - buttered white bread with the crusts cut off and a floppy tinned asparagus spear inside. Delicious

CloudyWithAChanceOfCustard · 31/08/2026 23:12

User0311 · 30/08/2026 20:49

Sounds wonderful! Been years since iv seen a beige buffet

Get yourself down to Iceland gal! 😆

Original poster

Iceplater · 31/08/2026 23:06

Not much comment on the openness of the sandwiches. Half a bap / muffin / roll (whatever you call it down your way), egg mayo, and cress for a classy topping. No lid. I have only even seen sandwiches of this grandeur at funerals.

OP posts:

Greenmouldycheese · 31/08/2026 22:48

What does mid class have to do with pastys and sausage rolls? 😆 so many try hards on here.

EconomyClassRockstar · 31/08/2026 22:48

Prawn vol au vents, a freshly baked mushroom quiche and hot sausage rolls are my idea of food Heaven. We had them every Xmas eve with a salad/potato salad/coleslaw and (my particular fave) CRISPS ON THE TABLE! The only time of the year that ever happened. There was also ham and pork pie but I hate both of those so I ignored them.

I'm going to make that for dinner tomorrow night now. Just without the crisps because, you know, it's not Xmas Eve.

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 31/08/2026 22:45

Evaka · 30/08/2026 20:09

I just saw pictures of a spread at an Irish party and there were heaped bowls of mahogany brown cocktail sausages. I nearly came...

I come over all unnecessary about mini chicken and mushroom vol
au vents and egg mayo sarnies (except it’s salad cream not mayo obviously) on thin, cheap white bread with stork marg.. obvs cut into quarters not triangles