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Original poster

AIBU to wonder if very enthusiastic bouncey older people are putting it on?

120 replies

mullandwonder · 30/08/2026 19:47

Do you think older really enthusiastic bouncy happy people are faking it on some level and miserable behind closed door?

I'm not talking about enthusiasm of youth but older people who are those sort of life and soul people that always seem to be cracking jokes and thrilled with everything. A bit like Alec Baldwin's character in Friends who sees lights in a traffic jam and starts going on about a thousand twinkling fairies or something.

I was wondering about it because over the years I've read a few biographies where people who were like this in public were revealed to be misearable depressives at home.

I suppose being that bouncy and childlike would be exhausting full time so maybe its not possible.

Anyone lived with anyone like this? Can you fake it? I read one thing where the person said they just took a decision to be happy. Is that realistic? can we all make ourselves very enthusiastic about life just by 'deciding'?

OP posts:
Flamingojune · 30/08/2026 22:18

Is it not just extremes of feeling and personality?

Bikergran · 30/08/2026 22:17

Why the ageist framing of this question? "The enthusiasm of youth" is just as likely to be a mask for depression and anxiety. People are extrovert, introvert, and all things in between, whatever their age.

friedaklein · 30/08/2026 22:15

I think your question should be: are entertainers and performers more enthusiastic and bouncy than other people? The answer is: yes.

Original poster
mullandwonder · 30/08/2026 21:57

I was using the word older as a shorthand to really mean settled adulthood - to make it clear that I wasn't talking about the enthusiasm of youth that most children and young people have. I meant 'older' in the sense of not in your early twenties but not 'old' in the sense of in your 90s.

I really meant any adult past that stage of life naiviety. Age precisely varies I guess but at any point when people have had enough life experience and difficulties that any youthful enthusiasm is gone and replaced by a more world weary sense of realism.

How many “older” people have you met who are like this character in Friends?
It sounds utterly bizarre as does your question.

I've met a few but they are mostly in the entertainment/performance industry.
Robin Williams and Peter Sellers are examples of the personality types I'm thinking about. Jim Carey, Jeff Goldblum that sort of almost childlike sense of play. The kind of people who you would imagine still jump up and down on a bed in their 50s just for fun.

@Ratherhaveacupofteaandabiscuit I think you've misunderstood my question. It was more - take Robin Williams as an example. Not the best example admittedly but what I am getting at. He presented publicly in interviews as great fun, hilarious, enthusiastic about everything, funny and joyful but he was obviously behind closed doors a very different and troubled person.

That was really what I was getting at - when you have that extreme happy joyful bouncy personality in adults, is it more likely to be a front?

OP posts:
friedaklein · 30/08/2026 21:57

Disturbia81 · 30/08/2026 21:46

I actually find there are more happy, funny, bouncy older people than younger people. Even just on my morning bus, all the older people are so smiley and chatting together.

I don't think this is a genuine thread, but yes.
Now I am in my 50s, I have learnt the importance of grabbing small joys.

Disturbia81 · 30/08/2026 21:46

I actually find there are more happy, funny, bouncy older people than younger people. Even just on my morning bus, all the older people are so smiley and chatting together.

Ratherhaveacupofteaandabiscuit · 30/08/2026 21:29

How many “older” people have you met who are like this character in Friends?

It sounds utterly bizarre as does your question.

Should older people be quietly pottering about visiting garden centres and having cream teas?

Wait a minute, that is exactly how I like to spend my time …

Although I do mix in a bit of politics, a bit of caring, a lot of reading and research and a spot of carriage driving too.

Is that acceptable older person behaviour OP?

I would hate to offend de youf.

UnaOfStormhold · 30/08/2026 21:25

I believe studies have shown that people in their 50s-70s generally report being happier than younger age groups, though in 80s it tends to decline due to ill health.

RemindMeIn15Minutes · 30/08/2026 21:25

Why would they? And even if they did, why would ‘older’ people put it on more than anyone else!? Just weird.

sonjadog · 30/08/2026 21:22

My 84 year old mother is enthusiastic and energetic. She always has been. It can be a it exhausting tbh. It isn't fake, she isn't pretending.

JaninefromEastenders · 30/08/2026 21:17

Are you coming back OP or do you just want everyone else to discuss this?

catdistributionsystem · 30/08/2026 21:16

My neighbour is 90, wears denim short shorts and leopard print trainers, always wears sparkly blue eyeshadow and has long hair. She’s also as fit as a flea, wickedly funny and is excellent company! We walk our dogs together sometimes and our 60-year age gap feels like nothing at all because she is so much fun to be around.

Realworld10 · 30/08/2026 21:16

Nope, they've been bouncy all their lives and aren't going to change their personality just because older!

Error404FucksNotFound · 30/08/2026 21:16

some people are just very upbeat, happy people. My aunt was one. she died in her late 90s and was the happiest cheekiest woman I've ever known. So full of fun.

My husband is only in his 60s so not old old but he is also a very happy person. chuckles away all the time. I don't expect him to change any time soon.

I'm a grumpy old cow myself so it's nice that one of us is chirpy :D

Epoisses · 30/08/2026 21:15

I'm older and choose to be happy.
You'd never know I have a dead son. So yes I'm probably one of those annoying aging fuckers OP dislikes.

likelysuspect · 30/08/2026 21:13

If they are depressed, and thats a big if, its part of recommended beahvioural treatment in any case to 'fake it' because you then condition yourself, your behaviour, your emotions, your mind to see positivity, to start to feel it, believe it and spread it around. The happier and cheerier you are, the more you get that reflected back at you

onlyoneoftheregimentinstep · 30/08/2026 21:12

I’m in my mid 70s, very active and loving life. I’m very fortunate never to have had any significant mental health problems and although I’ve had my fair share of challenges over the years I can honestly say I’m pretty happy.

Crushed23 · 30/08/2026 21:11

I think people learn to compartmentalise. I have been dealing with one of the most stressful situations in one area of my life for the last few months, like close to a nervous breakdown. In that time I’ve still managed to go to parties, socialise, exercise, go on holiday and generally do joyful things.

LuckyHazelFox · 30/08/2026 21:10

OP still not clarified who she considers an oldie? Another ageist thread then.

DaysIllRememberAllMyLife · 30/08/2026 21:05

Alec Baldwin was like Santa Claus on Prozac at Disneyland getting laid.

LuckyHazelFox · 30/08/2026 21:02

5128gap · 30/08/2026 20:27

Opposite here. I have all the joy bounce and enthusiasm of a child. But as an older person consider it my duty to go round with a face like a slapped arse, spreading misery 7 ways till Sunday to give young people something else to hate me for.

😆 🤣

friedaklein · 30/08/2026 20:39

5128gap · 30/08/2026 20:27

Opposite here. I have all the joy bounce and enthusiasm of a child. But as an older person consider it my duty to go round with a face like a slapped arse, spreading misery 7 ways till Sunday to give young people something else to hate me for.

You are always right on the.money! 😂

Anyway, my 81 yr old mum is usually always cheery. She's not rich
Makes her very popular amongst family and friends. The grandkids actively.seek her out.

DinoLil · 30/08/2026 20:36

I fake it.

maxslice · 30/08/2026 20:31

ThatCyanCat · 30/08/2026 19:59

Robin Williams?

It's not unusual for very sad people to be very cheerful and funny. Whether you think of this as "putting it on" or not depends on how you view it, I guess. It suggests something fake or insincere but I don't think it is (again, Robin Williams). Humour is a defence against despair so it makes sense for despairing people to use it, partly to cope and partly to try to prevent despair from reaching others. A lot of humour is based around someone's pain, real or fictional, so where there's pain, there's comic potential. The real life crying clown.

And of course, sometimes even the best defence isn't enough and the pain can simply be too overwhelming. Did I mention Robin Williams?

Someone once told me, “Happy people don’t need to be funny. The rest of us do.”

maxslice · 30/08/2026 20:29

I’m 67, and I guess I could be called “bouncy”. Not faking it at all. I have to deal with some physical things that I didn’t have to cope with when I was younger. So what? I enjoy people. I’m interested in them. I like to learn new things. I enjoy spending time with people who are younger than me. They offer interesting insights. Plus, they’re just fun. Much of the time happiness is a choice. What will you decide to focus on? I’m too old to perform happy or bouncy for other people. It’s much easier to simply be happy and bouncy.

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