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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AwenYrGorffennol · 31/08/2026 16:16

MightyGoldBear · 31/08/2026 16:10

I guess what violent video games don't have is the associated brain chemicals and hormones released that orgasm does. I'm sure dopamine is involved in gaming but not the powerful chemicals released to "bond" with a act/fantasy as there is no human involved not that all individuals can healthily bond/connect to another human anyway.

As it all makes too much money I doubt there will be much research into it anyway.

Agreed, not really the same, but not so far removed.

I would say that the production of video games is a massive and lucrative business, but it still has been scrutinised. If anything the sex dolls thing is more niche, and certainly won't be so visible, so for that reason might go more under the research radar.

MightyGoldBear · 31/08/2026 16:10

AwenYrGorffennol · 31/08/2026 15:18

From what I can see there's no evidence one way or the other on sex dolls or sexual AI. I mentioned back up the thread that the a plausible analogy is violent video games, where young men often immerse themselves for days in very violent fictional worlds. The early-days moral panics about those games has died down, and as I understand it the evidence shows no support for the idea that violent video games cause people to commit violent crime.

Violent video games became popular from the 90s onwards, while youth violence and violent crime in countries such as the US subsequently underwent substantial declines, although the causative link is by no means proven.

I guess what violent video games don't have is the associated brain chemicals and hormones released that orgasm does. I'm sure dopamine is involved in gaming but not the powerful chemicals released to "bond" with a act/fantasy as there is no human involved not that all individuals can healthily bond/connect to another human anyway.

As it all makes too much money I doubt there will be much research into it anyway.

Giggorata · 31/08/2026 16:10

Hycosaneyedrops · 30/08/2026 18:37

Could say the same about those ridiculous tentacle dildos that are available. It’s a product designed for use in a sexual way just like these dolls.

Women stoop to such low levels to get off that a 2ft alien tentacle dildo is the most sold “toy” on a certain website. Is that vile? Or is it only men that are vile when they partake in a sexual fantasy?

Not the same thing at all.
It is far more than just a man's sexual fantasy; it is sexual fantasy involving violence, coercion, mutilation and murder.. of women and girls.
Now it's not only being normalised and condoned, it's being catered for and monetised.

Brilliant.

AwenYrGorffennol · 31/08/2026 15:18

From what I can see there's no evidence one way or the other on sex dolls or sexual AI. I mentioned back up the thread that the a plausible analogy is violent video games, where young men often immerse themselves for days in very violent fictional worlds. The early-days moral panics about those games has died down, and as I understand it the evidence shows no support for the idea that violent video games cause people to commit violent crime.

Violent video games became popular from the 90s onwards, while youth violence and violent crime in countries such as the US subsequently underwent substantial declines, although the causative link is by no means proven.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 31/08/2026 15:10

I agree OP they should be illegal. As should violent or degrading porn and a host of other perverted sexual products. But as long as they make a profit they will be sold, because thats how our society works isnt it? Anything goes as long as someone gets rich. It's all part of a trend suggesting all fantasies are ok, even those that are dark and dangerous, and can be acted upon. We can't police people's thoughts and fantasies but they are supposed to be just that, fantasies that do not happen in reality.

If someone has a fantasy about hurting a woman and is deeply ashamed of this because it is something that isn't acceptable in his society, he will keep it to himself. There is a small chance he will try to act it out someday but hooking up with women is difficult in this world and by the time he has a few dates and gets to know the woman the fantasy has faded for her. He is lucky and grateful to have a sexual relationship and the fantasy stays in his head. If someone has the same fantasy in a society that condones all fantasies, and he has access to 24/7 porn watching that fantasy be acted upon its going to normalise it and make it a tangible reality. Then he buys a product that allows him to act it out himself and enjoy the power it gives him. He can download an app on his phone where he can simply swipe when he sees a woman he would like to do this to, and he can arrange as many hook ups as he likes under a fake name where he can try to act these out. The women might say no but by then they've already consented to sex and are in a vulnerable space with him, so its easy to get away with it. There is no doubt in my mind that the man is the second scenario is more likely to harm women. We've created a perfect storm for sexual offences. That's the problem. This is just another layer of it.

Muselii · 31/08/2026 15:05

AwenYrGorffennol · 30/08/2026 17:06

I did read it, but i don't really see what outlawing cruelty to dolls will achieve. People will still have the fantasies - the dolls are not the cause of it. And I do think that policing people's fantasies is a little bit odd.

I read this

"Many people start with what seems like “harmless” porn use. However, your brain quickly adapts to the dopamine rush and demands more intense material. Soon, you might find yourself watching violent or degrading acts that don’t align with your values. This escalation can happen slowly, but it can lead to dangerous behaviors that impact your real life, just like in the cases of Weinstein and P Diddy. While not everyone becomes a criminal, even small steps outside your moral boundaries can have lasting consequences"^^

JLou08 · 31/08/2026 15:04

Coldwetlettuce · 30/08/2026 18:03

Better than an actual woman being mutilated and maimed though surely?

That's like saying violent child pornography is okay if it's cartoons. It's illegal for good reason, it doesn't prevent harm coming to children, it just adds another step where the perps messed up psych embraces the fantasies before moving onto real children. It increases the risk of children being harmed, it doesn't reduce it. Sex dolls are going to increase the risks of sexual violence just like porn does, maybe even more so.

Deadringer · 31/08/2026 15:03

Jesus @murasaki that's vile

murasaki · 31/08/2026 14:59

Deadringer · 31/08/2026 14:55

I am torn on this one because if there is any chance at all that using these dolls prevents harm to women i would be all for them. Banning them will probably be impossible unless a link between their use and an increase in risk to women can be proven, and even then its probably unlikely. I think that the manufacturers should be obliged to accept back and recycle 'used' dolls though, and perhaps even have some sort or refundable deposit schemes to encourage men to dispose of them responsibly. The whole thing gives me the ick though, it really shines a light on just how sick and perverted some men are.

I once saw a documentary that i can never unsee, thanks channel 5, where they were sent back for cleaning. The cleaners regularly fucked them before sending them back 'home'.

Deadringer · 31/08/2026 14:55

I am torn on this one because if there is any chance at all that using these dolls prevents harm to women i would be all for them. Banning them will probably be impossible unless a link between their use and an increase in risk to women can be proven, and even then its probably unlikely. I think that the manufacturers should be obliged to accept back and recycle 'used' dolls though, and perhaps even have some sort or refundable deposit schemes to encourage men to dispose of them responsibly. The whole thing gives me the ick though, it really shines a light on just how sick and perverted some men are.

Æthelred · 31/08/2026 14:49

AwenYrGorffennol · 31/08/2026 13:40

I think if it conclusively reduced instances of CSA it would be hard not to do so?

I don't think it would work - at first glance it seems like a reasonable hypothesis but I reckon AI 'dolls' and other AI material relating to CSA will just end up placing a premium on 'the real thing' so the abuse won't stop.

UbiquitousPistachio · 31/08/2026 14:41

Another day, another sad reminder of Germaine Greer’s quote: "Women have very little idea of how much men hate them"

AwenYrGorffennol · 31/08/2026 14:06

LifetimesAgo · 31/08/2026 14:02

If everyone in the UK giving me 1p meant I could cure cancer it would be hard not to support them doing so.

There’s no conclusive evidence of that either, though, is there?

In fact, as the article notes, use of these dolls seems to encourage perverted behaviour.

Yes, agreed, I think there's no real research into whether this helps or not.

LifetimesAgo · 31/08/2026 14:02

AwenYrGorffennol · 31/08/2026 13:40

I think if it conclusively reduced instances of CSA it would be hard not to do so?

If everyone in the UK giving me 1p meant I could cure cancer it would be hard not to support them doing so.

There’s no conclusive evidence of that either, though, is there?

In fact, as the article notes, use of these dolls seems to encourage perverted behaviour.

AwenYrGorffennol · 31/08/2026 13:40

Shangle · 30/08/2026 20:05

In that case do you support dolls made to look like children?

I think if it conclusively reduced instances of CSA it would be hard not to do so?

MellowSubmarine · 30/08/2026 20:12

Coldwetlettuce · 30/08/2026 18:03

Better than an actual woman being mutilated and maimed though surely?

Men who get enjoyment from beating up a doll will not be less of a risk because of it.

Shangle · 30/08/2026 20:05

Coldwetlettuce · 30/08/2026 18:03

Better than an actual woman being mutilated and maimed though surely?

In that case do you support dolls made to look like children?

OP posts:
LifetimesAgo · 30/08/2026 18:56

This is beyond grim.

Owninterpreter · 30/08/2026 18:54

Hycosaneyedrops · 30/08/2026 18:37

Could say the same about those ridiculous tentacle dildos that are available. It’s a product designed for use in a sexual way just like these dolls.

Women stoop to such low levels to get off that a 2ft alien tentacle dildo is the most sold “toy” on a certain website. Is that vile? Or is it only men that are vile when they partake in a sexual fantasy?

Well if I was a 2ft alien with tentacles I might be a bit concerned that women were sending off photos of me, and asking for me to programmed to be submissie. Especially if bruises were added.

But otherwise i dont think its quite the same.

Beigebeig · 30/08/2026 18:41

I clicked on this thinking my answer would be no but I think that there is a lot of evidence that porn use escalates so men start wanking to normal porn but then become numb to it so then start watching rough sex and then become numb to it and so on and so on until it ends up with watching illegal porn over time.

Stands to reason that the same is likely to occur if a man is given a very realistic doll he can do what he likes too.

Sadly it would be impossible to ban or regulate so it won't happen but I think it is an unhealthy thing to have freely on the market and with time they will become cheaper and cheaper and more realistic.

Won't be long before there will be the first stories of serial killers who started with dolls and then graduated to real women.

GingerBeverage · 30/08/2026 18:39

It’s telling that the company, Coeros, that offers to make doll heads based on photos of real women is hiding the identities of the company owners.

If this is all fine and wholesome, then why aren’t they on LinkedIn.

Hycosaneyedrops · 30/08/2026 18:37

ExtraOnions · 30/08/2026 17:53

Men are so vile … is there no level they won’t stoop to in order to empty their Balls?

Could say the same about those ridiculous tentacle dildos that are available. It’s a product designed for use in a sexual way just like these dolls.

Women stoop to such low levels to get off that a 2ft alien tentacle dildo is the most sold “toy” on a certain website. Is that vile? Or is it only men that are vile when they partake in a sexual fantasy?

AwenYrGorffennol · 30/08/2026 18:37

murasaki · 30/08/2026 18:33

S0 why did sex dolls in child form get banned then?

Have a look at Hansard.

murasaki · 30/08/2026 18:33

S0 why did sex dolls in child form get banned then?

AwenYrGorffennol · 30/08/2026 18:31

murasaki · 30/08/2026 18:04

Gateway drug. Normalising the behaviour. Unacceptable.

I don't think there's evidence to say whether your version is correct or that of @Coldwetlettuce. There is certainly decades of research that as violence in video games has boomed levels of youth violence in developed countries has generally declined.