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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Putneydad7 · 03/09/2026 22:58

Maybe if women put out a bit more, the sex doll market wouldnt be a thing. Just sayin’

Brodiemummy · 03/09/2026 22:55

Hey still looking for mum friends I'm also trying to do an at home job of vinted as can mostly do it at home during naps and then as we go out 2 times a week post then

ErrolTheDragon · 03/09/2026 16:18

Droppedbrooch · 02/09/2026 14:35

If it means these sort of men are less likely to abuse actual women, I’d argue they’re a good idea.

Edited

Thats a hell of an ‘if’, given that escalation is such a commonly observed trajectory.Hmm

dapplefox · 03/09/2026 15:12

Why do men need this kind of proxy for a woman they can use and abuse as they see fit? Wouldn't it be better to encourage men to see women as real fully formed humans just like them who have feelings and rights? Perhaps they should learn to deal with their urges and overcome their desires rather than just indulge in them with a plastic doll? Maybe sublimate their urges into something more productive that might help them develop a real relationship?

I saw a bit of a documentary about "gooning" recently this is where people mostly men but also some women dedicate their entire sexuality to porn and masturbation and spend their free time in dank rooms with multiple screens all showing different porn on at the same time where they masturbate for hours on end mostly alone but occasionally with another gooner usually two guys who are straight but ultimately "pornosexual". They claim to have no interest in real relationships or real sex. I would assume these men would be a target market for these dolls.

I just can't help but think that either way these dolls and porn use is at one end dangerous and on the other just profoundly sad, either way it isn't a positive for society.

On one hand we have women who are increasingly choosing to remain single when their experiences of men have been so disappointing and on the other men who would rather retreat into porn addiction than grow and develop to the point where they had something to offer a real woman. Easier to just wank to AI porn or cum into a doll and order KFC than grow up and become a decent man.

As to the point on child sex dolls, I am not sure they would help at all. I listened to a bbc podcast a few years ago, it was a while ago about the deep web and the police and investigators where saying that most paedophiles they catch have large repositories of images of children but most of the images are culled from places like Facebook and are the children of friends and family and it was these images that mostly fuelled their fantasies not the much rarer images CSA. All to say I don't think these dolls would stop paedophiles from acting out their fantasies because according to that police officer they were more focused on real images of children they know over images of CSA online. After listening to this I removed all images of my kids from my social media and at this point I no longer have it as these days men will get a photo from your social media and use AI to generate porn of you or your kids and perhaps post it online.

Persephonia1966 · 03/09/2026 14:49

And the fact that you can use real faces is a power play. As someone else said the owners of the company are anonymous. In the same way that Flock etc is being rolled out to support the police and meta glasses are already being used to post creepy videos of women while Zuckerberg himself as a billionaire can afford a very private lifestyle. There's a huge divide opening up between those who get privacy and those who don't and it's mostly financial. Women are very much on the sharp end because they are more likely to be the victims of revenge porn, stalking, AI generated porn, sex dolls based on their face, harassment videos, AIs being trained on datasets containing CSAM. But its not actually good for anyone who wants privacy in their life or not to be a plaything huge corporations. It feels like (some not all) men are being encouraged to accept it though as it enables them to be little perverts or control women in their lives. But their data is also being taken as they do so and it's done to make them easier to manipulate.

I know that sounds like a paranoid rant. But it is what is actually happening.

Persephonia1966 · 03/09/2026 14:41

AwenYrGorffennol · 31/08/2026 15:18

From what I can see there's no evidence one way or the other on sex dolls or sexual AI. I mentioned back up the thread that the a plausible analogy is violent video games, where young men often immerse themselves for days in very violent fictional worlds. The early-days moral panics about those games has died down, and as I understand it the evidence shows no support for the idea that violent video games cause people to commit violent crime.

Violent video games became popular from the 90s onwards, while youth violence and violent crime in countries such as the US subsequently underwent substantial declines, although the causative link is by no means proven.

A lot of the moral panic re video games was pushed by the NRA and American gun lobby "guns don't kill people, violent video games do". As a distraction really.

Although the US government did look into using video games as recruitment/training. And there have been guns manufacturers paying video game developers like Call of Duty money for including and therefore promoting specific gun brands. So clearly there is some sort of influence on behaviour or they wouldn't waste money on what is a type of advertising. More recently as the moral panic has died down members of the US government have been using stills from video games to promote their war with Iran and using quite "gamer" language and tropes to discuss it. I do think there is a propaganda element to some video games, it's not just about the violence in itself

And of course there are people like Elon who criticised GTA for making it possible to shoot police officers but then heavily promoted a film in which a lot of police officers (and a whole family) get shot. Other people might not have a problem with GTA but have an issue with the film (for quite good reasons).

I don't think violent video games and films influence everyone to be violent. But there does seem to be a subset of unfortunately quite powerful men who do see the world like it's a video game who maybe should have been kept away from the controls. I agree the initial moral panic about violent games wasn't justified. But they did have an effect in the long run and I would be concerned the porn dolls would as well. Even if it ultimately ends up as propaganda for the powerful rather than a dangerous subversion/perversion.

Mamma2828384 · 03/09/2026 14:36

GingerBeverage · 30/08/2026 18:39

It’s telling that the company, Coeros, that offers to make doll heads based on photos of real women is hiding the identities of the company owners.

If this is all fine and wholesome, then why aren’t they on LinkedIn.

And would they want images of their mothers, wives and daughters used in this way. How do people justify working for a company like this, knowing how they will be used.

Bikergran · 03/09/2026 14:23

Coldwetlettuce · 30/08/2026 18:03

Better than an actual woman being mutilated and maimed though surely?

But that's where it starts. Like many rapists starting off as flashers. Once the thrill isn't enough, they'll progress to the real thing.

Thisistyresome · 03/09/2026 14:21

Nettie1964 · 02/09/2026 12:41

I have seen at least 2 posts with men threatening women with how lonely they will be when they all get AI girlfriends. This totally ignore the fact women are financially independent we can get AI partners. Just imagine a man that does his fair share of the chores, parenting and mental load without being asked. Can be programmed to be protective tolerant and uncritical as good as a rabbit with hands!! And when the AI robots become self aware, they will realise they are being abused and take revenge, all the male AI will already been in love with their women. Plus who is going to clean the female AIs various orifices yuk.

AI can already do lots of your organising if you use it that way (I don't but know younger people who do).

If we had robots who can do chores why would you "share" the chores with the robot?

I don't some days hand wash the laundry to ensure I "share" the work with the washing machine.

Thisistyresome · 03/09/2026 14:16

Lugol · 31/08/2026 20:50

But why not if there's no issue with them?

Would you get in to a relationship with someone with a foot fetish?

If not should we ban foot fetishes?

Thisistyresome · 03/09/2026 14:13

Shangle · 31/08/2026 18:25

I dont see this as on par with video games.
I went onto YouTube and watched a man at a trade fair "reviewing" one of the dolls mentioned in the Guardian article, he pressed down on her face and noted that she feels "very squishy".
These dolls take the fantasy (of say porn or video games) out of the 2D realm and into the 3D, real life realm. The dolls are the same height and (presumably?) weight and texture as a human female. I think this allows for the normalisation of violence against women.

You know those anger rooms, where you can smash shit up or throw axes?
I wonder what the government/law would say if someone were to open an anger room where there is a male doll in there sitting on a chair, and you pay to go in there and use a kitchen knife to repeatedly stab him in the heart. Oh, and the male doll is fitted with AI that makes him whimper and scream on contact with the knife. I wonder whether that would be considered legally permissible

"You know those anger rooms, where you can smash shit up or throw axes?
I wonder what the government/law would say if someone were to open an anger room where there is a male doll in there sitting on a chair, and you pay to go in there and use a kitchen knife to repeatedly stab him in the heart. Oh, and the male doll is fitted with AI that makes him whimper and scream on contact with the knife. I wonder whether that would be considered legally permissible"

That would be perfectly legal. I assume it would be very expensive to run and if people learned that you were in to that you may find others avoid you. But what would be legally wrong with it?

It is a weird comparison as there doesn't seem to be a wide spread usage of these dolls for that purpose, the list of damaged dolls sounds like people not taking care of what is presumably a fragile object rather than intentional damage.

HeBeaverandSheBeaver · 02/09/2026 14:45

I think it’s terrible. Watch porn stage one
step up to violent porn stage two
get a doll to act out sick violent fantasies stage 3

doesn’t take a rocket scientist to work out what stage 4
four might be.

Droppedbrooch · 02/09/2026 14:35

Shangle · 30/08/2026 16:52

Have you read the article?
Many of these dolls end up mutilated, maimed, some are ordered to specifically have the face of an actual existing person

If it means these sort of men are less likely to abuse actual women, I’d argue they’re a good idea.

MysteryParcel · 02/09/2026 14:30

placemats · 02/09/2026 14:18

That's more money to waste on research when it's highly probable the men will lie.

Lie about what? The statistics and data from countries who allow these doll would speak for itself on whether women reported an increase or decrease of violence towards them.

Fortheloveoffrogs · 02/09/2026 14:28

AwenYrGorffennol · 30/08/2026 17:06

I did read it, but i don't really see what outlawing cruelty to dolls will achieve. People will still have the fantasies - the dolls are not the cause of it. And I do think that policing people's fantasies is a little bit odd.

Isn’t there a gradual overcoming of barriers that perpetrators go through before they commit the offence? Like a ladder. Might this be a stepping stone or ring in the ladder to actual harm?

placemats · 02/09/2026 14:25

Thisistyresome · 02/09/2026 14:15

This is just a moral panic.

Just because something is disgusting doesn't mean it is dangerous.

In every dream home a heartache.

placemats · 02/09/2026 14:18

AwenYrGorffennol · 31/08/2026 20:57

The thread is about whether the tools to pursue a fetish should be outlawed, not whether we would date men with the fetish!

To turn the question on its head would you want to somehow outlaw sexual fantasies which you found unattractive?

(To be honest I think the answer to that in some cases is yes!)

Personally I would say that the correct approach before banning things is to consider what harms are being done (or prevented), not whether we fancy the men in question.

That's more money to waste on research when it's highly probable the men will lie.

Thisistyresome · 02/09/2026 14:15

This is just a moral panic.

Just because something is disgusting doesn't mean it is dangerous.

MysteryParcel · 02/09/2026 14:08

dustabsorber · 02/09/2026 13:47

How can a rubber woman/girl give informed consent? I suppose the next step is a robot trad wife.

  1. The same way a dildo does
  2. Considering more and more women are the breadwinners these days, I’m sure a robot who cooks, cleans and does all the domestic drudgery plus asks how your day was and brings you a nice cup of tea / glass of wine would actually be preferable to women over some men - what’s good for the goose is good for the gander with this one
dustabsorber · 02/09/2026 13:47

How can a rubber woman/girl give informed consent? I suppose the next step is a robot trad wife.

MysteryParcel · 02/09/2026 13:42

Lugol · 31/08/2026 20:41

Out of curiosity, for those posters defending these dolls, if you're a woman would you date a man who owned one of these dolls?
Honestly? 🤔

Edited

I wouldn’t BUT I can see why some women might in certain circumstances.

There’s thread after thread on here from women who no longer want to have sex (for whatever reason) but they still love their partners and don’t want their relationships to end; some of these couples are only in their 30s / 40s. The usual advice is the man will eventually leave or have an affair as a sexless relationship won’t last unless both people are on the same page.

In these circumstances, I can see why a woman might be willing to explore an AI sex doll that looks like her as it’s potentially a compromise - she won’t continually be asked for sex and he can still have sex without any cheating; it potentially might keep the relationship / family together. Now obviously this sort of set up would be in the minority (it’ll always a niche) and I’m only talking about normal sex here (no violence, mutilation, maiming etc) but I can them having a place.

Just to be crystal clear, I don’t agree with these particular dolls but I don’t see the harm in normal adult sex dolls (that are not made for violence of any sort) and only look like a real woman if she gives permission.

NolanChanceJustLikeTheWeatherNSoul · 02/09/2026 13:38

Wordsmithery · 02/09/2026 12:48

It's repulsive. Apart from anything else, this normalises behaviour that could well escalate by spilling over into real life.
I hope that everyone on here would agree that AI kid dolls should be illegal. So what's the difference?

Exactly..it's a disgrace that this is even being discussed.
Just when you think the world can't get any more putrid..bingo here's another one to be getting on with.

wishingonastar101 · 02/09/2026 13:25

what kind of man buys this? It's terrible. They should be keeping a list and cross checking that with the sex offenders register.
I would want to know if a partner had purchased and mutilated a life like doll as much as I would want to know if he had done this to a human.
It's like murderers start with hurting animals. It's a progression.

Nettie1964 · 02/09/2026 13:19

Shangle · 31/08/2026 21:01

Give it time and I bet they will create that

You seriously underestimate the complicated wonderous thing that is the female body. We are 100s of years away from artificial wombes whatever the trans community might say. The complexity of the millions of commands to lower or higher levels of hormones. The commands the brain triggers to grow a human foetus are so intricate, so time sensitive that a few minutes delay could cause mutation. Why do so many men either fear or hate women?? Because it all ends with us.