AIBU to worry my 9 year old is not invited out

Mine plays out with the local kids. Same as when I was that age

I mean my son's most distant friend lives over a mile away, so he usually rides his bike when he goes there. It's more the conditions than the distance I expect?

But yes I know not all children are as lucky to live in a place with lots of other children, that's why I asked. Sometimes people just haven't considered handing over the reins a bit.

Where we live there is no one locally (under 1 mile walk) that is within 2 years of their age. Play dates require parental involvement.

Almost every day. I'm not organising it though. He calls them himself (on his Nokia brick) or he goes round to knock on their doors. Or they come round to knock for him. Where I live 9 is too old for parents to be micromanaging their social lives.

Does she not have any friends locally she could knock for or does that just not happen at all where you are?

We've barely seen DS' school friends, we were away the first two weeks, week 4 he was with grandparents, he's been with my mum every Tuesday, I'm off Mondays and DH Fridays but we've also had other stuff planned we've been to the theatre, we've had family occasions and birthdays, then there have been some days we've been at work so he's been at holiday camp. Then throw in sports and hobby clubs and there's little time for playdates. All of his friends have schedules that are just as complicated so it's really hard to find time when they're available at the same time. He's got a birthday party to go to tomorrow and some of those kids he hasn't seen since term ended

Not at all other than a couple of birthday parties. We’ve been away for much of it, and when not we are working/juggling and not really in a position to host.

In my experience it’s different from when I was a child in the 90’s.

People are more insular, all of my children’s friends don't meet up much outside of school (until they’re old enough to be independent and meet up in town as a teen etc)

Mainly because of a lot of children having both parents working a lot, therefore having to put their children in holiday clubs for childcare, having to book them in that far in advance and so they can’t rely on play dates for when they’re working (what if the host cancels etc, pressure to reciprocate)
Also, what time they do have off they want to do things as a family and spend time making memories to make up for being in childcare for a lot of the summer; Days out, or holidays.
A lot of their summer socialising seems to be done online in the evenings in small chunks (chatting via fortnite etc) when home from days out or childcare.

I’ve also noticed a decline in birthday parties just as they’re so expensive; people round here tend to do family days out instead to cut the cost.

We prefer to go out as a family in the summer and with family friends, and we are also away on holiday a couple of times. DS8 has been to his best friends twice, his mam is very kind and knows we work a lot and I'm exceptionally grateful for this.
DD5 has seen a couple of friends at holiday club twice, and then we've been out with one of her friends for a play date.
So both just 2/3 times.

Only 1, he has his brother though

I wouldn’t worry too much, people are busy. For example I work full time, I also use my leave to take the kids away for at least a week and they go to their dads as well. I have school holiday programme and clubs booked well in advance so can’t do off the cuff weekday play dates. I sometimes organise weekend play dates but have found other families often prioritise weekend time as family time which is totally fine but I don’t keep asking once I know that is the case.

At 9 ds either played out with local kids (some from different schools), or met up with football teammates. Not so much with school friends during holidays.

9yo had a friend over here once. 11 year old has seen the same friend 3 times. We've seen family friends and cousins more though.

Once a week, however that was me organising each time.
Im completely socially inept, so the parents probably dont think of me as a friend and dont get in touch. Plus we live in a different village to her school, and ive needed to work too.
Im not worried.

The parents are potentially working or just don't want to organise these things?

A common gripe between parents is some host/organise on the expectation others will reciprocate. In reality not everyone wants to do playdates. They could decline your invitation to avoid creating an obligation to reciprocate - but that would cause upset too! Life didn't used to have so many playdates etc. People played in the street and saw friends at places like church or Sunday school. It's a lot of work now - full time job plus child activities plus play dates!

My 10 year old has only had 2. One sleepover she was invited to, 1 playdate with another friend I organised. Summer is busy, people are away, and trying to juggle childcare and work.

We haven't seen any and my Dd is popular, always having playdates during term time and invited to most parties.

Many people have been away at different times or had clubs booked. We wanted dd to have a proper break away including all the playdates

She might just be unlucky in that the parents of her friends are particularly busy, or younger siblings may make it difficult.

I wouldn’t take it personally as if they didn’t like her they wouldn’t accept.

Only once or twice. Almost all her friends have been away most of the summer. I wouldn't read too much into it. It's a busy time and lots of people prioritise seeing family.