AIBU to think lifestyle expectations and spending habits have risen enormously?

Are your friends aware that your life style and spending is markedly different from theirs?

And are you excluded from restaurants / holidays with these friends because out of your price range?

you say didn’t know there were things called cappuccinos or lattes until I left home. and you are in your thirties 🤔

when you say you love vintage clothing…. For me?

Why won't you let your child try lobster? What an odd stand to take.

And what about you? Also married with children?

I would assume you were an octogenarian the way you refer to the current generation and your childhood.

Do these friends leave you out @Hiredgun ? Ie go to restaurants you can’t afford? Group holidays that are way out of your budget?

Totally agree with you. I’m in what I imagine is a rather unusual scenario. As I’m a farmer, I live in the same village I grew up in, as did my parents and my grandparents. My kids go to the same private school I went to.

As an 80’s child we had one day out in the summer holidays. The rest was playing at home or the park. And swimming once a week. Now, the when a play date is organised the parents take them to flip out, an aqua park or the cinema.

We didn’t spend a penny on the dog. Bit of kibble twice a day, jobs a goodun. Odd shot at the farm vet now and again for worms and fleas. Now, people have dog walkers, pay for kennels on holiday and have cameras to watch them with.

Eating out. As kids we had fish and chips a few times a year and occasionally a Sunday roast in a local pub for a birthday. Kids now expect wagamamas/pret/itsu.

I get we are moving in privileged circles but it’s the exact same privileged circle of the 80’s!

Thing that gets me is we buy more but own less...
our (downloaded) music, books, films, magazines, the software on our home computers, the games on our consoles - all part of our digital footprint, single licence, that dies with us. The car being leased - again "ownership" doesn't continue.

A lot of money is being spent on stuff that dies with us. Some people are getting surprised by that.

Ok this is what I got from Google AI
Childcare and Early Years Survey of Parents and longitudinal cohorts show that approximately 15% to 23% of babies aged 6 to 12 months are enrolled in formal childcare. 1, 2]

That's higher than you got, but less than my impression. That's perhaps because I live in London. I walk past 3 nurseries on my way to work, and for reasons know lots of mothers of babies and toddlers - amongst those families nursery is absolutely the norm from nine months, and very common from six months.

London tends to be more extreme than other areas in all aspects of consumption though - but is also often the harbinger of what will become the norm elsewhere.

I think we're all in absolute denial tbh. British childcare is very different from that in Scandinavian countries where it's a requirement that childcare workers have a degree which includes the psychology of child development. It's a respected vocation. Childcare workers here are low paid and poorly educated and the turnover is huge.

My point is that what babies need is one or two consistent caregivers - that is an absolute and very well researched fact. Babies in any formal childcare setting cannot be getting that. As they get towards three, that need tails off - but a one to two year old in regular childcare, and especially for long days, will not be getting what they need according to the same very solid research.

I am a radical feminist, not a liberal one. I'm enraged that we've allowed capitalism/govts to persuade us that going back to work while an 18 yo goes through the motions of minimum care for our babies is some kind of empowerment. Real empowerment would be making the world of work - and the men who father those babies - adapt to the needs of both women and babies. That is something that we could force through political mobilisation, but we choose not to. It's so sad.

Nailed it. Do people need a dictionary, or some books? They’re all on archive.org.

The internet is a marvellous thing if used for other things than ordering takeaways, leasing cars, or buying expensive holidays!!!

Again, I just can’t understand why this is a surprise to you. You have all the same information about capitalist society available to you that I have. This is literally what we live in, and how it functions.

You’re assuming they took photos?
I like to drink coffee in nice coffee shops. I have never taken a photo of myself doing so, and I don’t have social media other than MN.

It shows how much “life” has become about “experiences”: which means “eating or drinking coffee in a fancy/instagrammable place”.

The aestheticisation of life is a really interesting phenomenon.

You must mingle with extremely wealthy people.

I'm 39, we are homeowners (mortgaged) and have good jobs.

However we don't live this lifestyle that you describe and none of our friends buys coffee machines for 3k or eats out 3 times per week.

Of course. Not really amongst my friends though.