Page 3 | AIBU to think lifestyle expectations and spending habits have risen enormously?

Backfrombright · 31/08/2026 17:46

Hiredgun · 31/08/2026 17:45

Not sure the type of TV I had access to mentioned cappuccinos or indeed the books I read. My friends were just like me so they weren’t drinking cappuccinos either.

Yes, I went to cafes but I only recall tea or coffee. Keep in mind I was a kid so my parents ordered. I only tasted real coffee when I moved away to university. That’s when things got interesting.

I am not being hyperbolic but these are just some things off the top of my head. I could go on with countless more.

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So your experience was very rural Scotland. When did you move away? Where did you go to uni? Your wife had similar upbringing not in keeping with the majority in the mid 80s and through 1990s?

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Hiredgun · 31/08/2026 17:46

SmallDFartyCarNRG · 31/08/2026 17:17

Late stage Capitalism incoming...worth a google.

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Definitely a concern and what comes next!

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Hiredgun · 31/08/2026 17:45

FirmSnake · 31/08/2026 14:27

You had a TV, books and friends - yet you had never even heard of a cappuccino? Had you never been to a cafe either? Even once?
OP I think your broad point is interesting, but you're being so hyperbolic its silly.

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Not sure the type of TV I had access to mentioned cappuccinos or indeed the books I read. My friends were just like me so they weren’t drinking cappuccinos either.

Yes, I went to cafes but I only recall tea or coffee. Keep in mind I was a kid so my parents ordered. I only tasted real coffee when I moved away to university. That’s when things got interesting.

I am not being hyperbolic but these are just some things off the top of my head. I could go on with countless more.

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Original poster

Hiredgun · 31/08/2026 17:40

Seajaye · 31/08/2026 16:57

I think every generation's expectations in the Westernised World have increased since the Industrial revolution.. In the case of China and much of the Far East , it's perhaps only been in last 50 years that other populations are doing the same, by moving to the more prosperous cities and leaving subsistence.farming behind for a better life working in technology or manufacturing.
However if you Google ' why did the Roman Empire fall into decline' there are some interesting factors which seem to suggest it might not go on forever. The bubble may burst sooner than our post war Governments would wish to see.

Edited

It’s fascinating especially the rise for China. A once fairly poor country is now an economic powerhouse. And many Chinese people live incredibly luxurious lifestyles with high expectations.

I got chatting to a Chinese guy at a whisky tasting recently and boy did he like the expensive stuff.

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Hiredgun · 31/08/2026 17:37

JHound · 31/08/2026 16:50

Well we with technology and internet we know a lot more about what’s out there and want to experience it.

Also you simply get used to “nice” things and it’s hard to go back. I grew up more and remember having salmon spread sandwiches for packed lunch. Nice and cheap. The thought of eating that now makes me gag.

Once you get used to the convenience of ordering food when you are too tired to cook then cooking 100% of your meals feels tiring etc. It’s hard to go backwards in lifestyle.

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I agree that becoming accustomed to luxury makes it harder to go back.

I am laughing at your salmon spread sandwiches as I’m not sure anyone would eat that these days. We would often be given cheap things for school dinners like white bread and broth. Mince & potatoes. Rice pudding was a classic pudding favourite with a dollop of cheap jam. Ice cream was a rare treat and it was one scoop of vanilla. If you misbehaved then you missed out.

It blows my mind the range of convenience we have these days. However, it’s definitely tied into the wider health issues we see.

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SmallDFartyCarNRG · 31/08/2026 17:17

Seajaye · 31/08/2026 16:57

I think every generation's expectations in the Westernised World have increased since the Industrial revolution.. In the case of China and much of the Far East , it's perhaps only been in last 50 years that other populations are doing the same, by moving to the more prosperous cities and leaving subsistence.farming behind for a better life working in technology or manufacturing.
However if you Google ' why did the Roman Empire fall into decline' there are some interesting factors which seem to suggest it might not go on forever. The bubble may burst sooner than our post war Governments would wish to see.

Edited

Late stage Capitalism incoming...worth a google.

Seajaye · 31/08/2026 16:57

I think every generation's expectations in the Westernised World have increased since the Industrial revolution.. In the case of China and much of the Far East , it's perhaps only been in last 50 years that other populations are doing the same, by moving to the more prosperous cities and leaving subsistence.farming behind for a better life working in technology or manufacturing.
However if you Google ' why did the Roman Empire fall into decline' there are some interesting factors which seem to suggest it might not go on forever. The bubble may burst sooner than our post war Governments would wish to see.

JHound · 31/08/2026 16:50

Hiredgun · 31/08/2026 12:36

Absolutely but it’s fascinating how times have changed and what people spend money on these days.

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Well we with technology and internet we know a lot more about what’s out there and want to experience it.

Also you simply get used to “nice” things and it’s hard to go back. I grew up more and remember having salmon spread sandwiches for packed lunch. Nice and cheap. The thought of eating that now makes me gag.

Once you get used to the convenience of ordering food when you are too tired to cook then cooking 100% of your meals feels tiring etc. It’s hard to go backwards in lifestyle.

Backfrombright · 31/08/2026 15:08

Just clocked the username… you have a wife and children??? I’ve come across you on other threads and you very much give the impression you’re dating!

Backfrombright · 31/08/2026 15:07

Hiredgun · 31/08/2026 12:30

We had an old TV set that we got from our grandad. Like a big brown box and weighed a tonne. It had the basic channels but we couid only watch it at certain times. Often we would have power cuts too.

I don’t recall magazines but our house was filed with books.

You describe the 80s and 90s like something out of an Enid blyton novel set in the 50s.

Where do you live now? Did you go to university?

Did you wife lead a similar fairly unusual childhood where she also didn’t know what a cappuccino was?

FirmSnake · 31/08/2026 14:27

Hiredgun · 31/08/2026 12:30

We had an old TV set that we got from our grandad. Like a big brown box and weighed a tonne. It had the basic channels but we couid only watch it at certain times. Often we would have power cuts too.

I don’t recall magazines but our house was filed with books.

You had a TV, books and friends - yet you had never even heard of a cappuccino? Had you never been to a cafe either? Even once?
OP I think your broad point is interesting, but you're being so hyperbolic its silly.

DianeSpiced · 31/08/2026 13:45

Cozzie livs crisis is real. Who are those who are denying it? Donald Trump?

RosaNovella · 31/08/2026 13:24

SmallDFartyCarNRG · 31/08/2026 12:29

Yes I do think America was producing most of it post war, as one of the richer countries not as involved in war for long and no bombing/cities needing rebuilding. Now China has learned how to make everything with cheaper labour and has overtaken them in sales and tech which is why so many Americans are angry - their jobs were undercut and lost, much like the miners here. Now you have huge swathes of wealthy countries populations up to eyeballs in debt trying to keep up to what they were told they would have at this age by TV 30+ years ago. Social media has taken over from TV to a large extent so people now doing holidays and "trips of a lifetime" more to show they aren't just consuming, but really it is an extension of the same social signifiers that you can afford to travel (and is consumption still). As soon as something becomes too "commonplace" it pushes the boundaries to the next.
Some people are stepping off the merry-go-round but others are on it for life.

Spot on!

RosaNovella · 31/08/2026 13:23

Premierinnsleep · 31/08/2026 06:41

What a peculiar post!

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What?
Where do you think the term Baby Boomer came from?
Its used in the UK but is really the term for the post war generation in the US
I can remember my Dsis working in the US in the late 80s and coming back with tales of 24/7 takeaway coffee and doughnuts and we were all agog!

Original poster

Hiredgun · 31/08/2026 13:10

NicolaSturgeon · 31/08/2026 12:50

It's amazing how much oddly assorted, wildly overpriced stuff people can accumulate if they really put their minds to it. £3K coffee maker is just the beginning!

Hi Nic,

Thought you’d be far too busy living it up in London to be on here.

Absolutely and your ex husband is probably a good guy to talk to about over spending on luxurious goods. Love to know what he used the expensive straighteners on given that he’s as bald as a coot.

Shame he’s now in jail but I may pay him a visit if I ever need advice on such luxury items.

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Original poster

Hiredgun · 31/08/2026 13:04

SmallDFartyCarNRG · 31/08/2026 12:29

Yes I do think America was producing most of it post war, as one of the richer countries not as involved in war for long and no bombing/cities needing rebuilding. Now China has learned how to make everything with cheaper labour and has overtaken them in sales and tech which is why so many Americans are angry - their jobs were undercut and lost, much like the miners here. Now you have huge swathes of wealthy countries populations up to eyeballs in debt trying to keep up to what they were told they would have at this age by TV 30+ years ago. Social media has taken over from TV to a large extent so people now doing holidays and "trips of a lifetime" more to show they aren't just consuming, but really it is an extension of the same social signifiers that you can afford to travel (and is consumption still). As soon as something becomes too "commonplace" it pushes the boundaries to the next.
Some people are stepping off the merry-go-round but others are on it for life.

It’s fascinating how this plays out on a global scale. Of course I didn’t get into in my OP but it ties into climate change.

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NicolaSturgeon · 31/08/2026 12:50

It's amazing how much oddly assorted, wildly overpriced stuff people can accumulate if they really put their minds to it. £3K coffee maker is just the beginning!

MCF86 · 31/08/2026 12:40

In general, I completely agree with you that spending habits have changed, even without big things like cars and homes.

Things like cinema were massive treats, we'd have a family trip around our birthdays (for time context, I remember watching Aladdin!). Maybe once every couple of months we'd have a film night at home (Blockbusters).
The thought of having subscriptions just for TV would have been nuts!

Original poster

Hiredgun · 31/08/2026 12:36

JHound · 31/08/2026 12:26

I think it depends on the person but if they can afford it I don’t see the issue. Nothing wrong with wanting to enjoy life. We only get one.

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Absolutely but it’s fascinating how times have changed and what people spend money on these days.

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Original poster

Hiredgun · 31/08/2026 12:35

EveningSpread · 31/08/2026 08:25

When you say you see so much, is it mostly on social media? I think that’s a big reason why people do certain things, and share them so widely.

I think there’s a pretty big backlash against all this in some circles, but you won’t see it because it’s not on social media.

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I rarely use social media.

My experience is based on my lived experience in the real world. These are not social media friends or influencers but real people with real jobs, family etc.

However, I do know what social media is like and how that can distort things.

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Hiredgun · 31/08/2026 12:30

We had an old TV set that we got from our grandad. Like a big brown box and weighed a tonne. It had the basic channels but we couid only watch it at certain times. Often we would have power cuts too.

I don’t recall magazines but our house was filed with books.

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SmallDFartyCarNRG · 31/08/2026 12:29

Yes I do think America was producing most of it post war, as one of the richer countries not as involved in war for long and no bombing/cities needing rebuilding. Now China has learned how to make everything with cheaper labour and has overtaken them in sales and tech which is why so many Americans are angry - their jobs were undercut and lost, much like the miners here. Now you have huge swathes of wealthy countries populations up to eyeballs in debt trying to keep up to what they were told they would have at this age by TV 30+ years ago. Social media has taken over from TV to a large extent so people now doing holidays and "trips of a lifetime" more to show they aren't just consuming, but really it is an extension of the same social signifiers that you can afford to travel (and is consumption still). As soon as something becomes too "commonplace" it pushes the boundaries to the next.
Some people are stepping off the merry-go-round but others are on it for life.

JHound · 31/08/2026 12:26

Hiredgun · 29/08/2026 20:16

For context, I’m a late 30s millennial. Grew up in Scotland.

Back then, almost nobody had a brand new car. People went abroad once a year if they were lucky. Eating out was very rare, maybe a handfull of times per. Getting a new kitchen was rare as was buying most household items. Kids often got cast off clothes from their siblings. Coffee & wine were basic.

Fast forward to today and it’s unbelievable what I see now.

Almost everybody drives a brand new car

Some of my friends go on multiple holidays per year. One is just back from her 7th trip abroad.

People buy properties and spend six figures immediately renovating them.

People are very fussy with wine. One of my friends only drinks champagne if doing fizz. Another will only drink certain types of Italian red wine.

I have a friend who spent 3K on a coffee machine and he recently asked if the coffee I served him at mine was single source.

Another friend wants me to go on a golfing holiday for a stag do abroad. Basic cost is £3K as it involves a private chef on a boat.

And cheese…. one of my friends only buys cheese from a deli. It’s beautiful but they’re spending a hundred quid plus a month just on cheese.

Some of my friends eat out 2/3 times per week. That was an average in a year for lots of people when I was a kid.

AIBU to question this? I know some of it may be debt but perhaps people’s expectations have risen enormously? Anybody else seeing this type of behaviour.

I think it depends on the person but if they can afford it I don’t see the issue. Nothing wrong with wanting to enjoy life. We only get one.

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Hiredgun · 31/08/2026 12:23

SmallDFartyCarNRG · 31/08/2026 12:12

I was pointing out where it started. People lived frugally up to the war and late 70's then with colour TV and loads of American shows with luxury items (Dallas etc) in all of them which spurred people to buy things they wouldn't have thought of. You get paid more to work in advertising than saving lives as a nurse, which says it all.

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I think you make a good point as America is definitely a huge consumer society and a lot of that has come over to us.

All the big tech is mostly American and it’s very powerful at pushing this stuff.

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Hiredgun · 31/08/2026 12:20

WhitegreeNcandle · 31/08/2026 06:47

I think it’s interesting how many people assume you can’t afford these things

Clearly, I don’t know for certain but I’m pretty sure we earn similar amounts to our friends, if not more. Not having the latest Range Rover and 2 holidays abroad doesn’t mean you can’t afford it, you might just not want it!

As for the children trying lobster - it’s £35 a pop in our local restaurant! My DS loves fish and he was allowed to try it at his birthday meal. Is he allowed it every time we go - no chance! We can afford it but why would we set him up for a lifetime of expecting to be able to afford lobster?!

Exactly but it kind of ties into my point of how expectations have changed.

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