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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to prefer time with my children over using babysitters?

134 replies

Cherrytree696 · 29/08/2026 13:59

The other day someone in my close family (one of the grandparents to my children) expressed that they find it annoying that I very rarely seek babysitters as I always want to be with my kids. This person said that I was dependent on my kids and on turn I was making them dependent on me.

For context, I have 2 children and I am a teacher. My husband works in a hospital. I am part-time and he is full time. My kids are of school age/nursery age so they attend that during the week. I've never felt the need to spend much time away from them on my days off and really value the time we get to spend as a 4 on days off and holidays etc ...

If I go out my husband generally looks after them and vice versa. We do have date nights out but they aren't very often.

Is this weird?

(I would like to highlight that nobody has ever really offered to babysit them and I've been okay with this. I am not unhappy and neither is my husband - just wanting to know what other people have)

Thanks!

OP posts:
Silverbirchleaf · 29/08/2026 14:10

Not weird, and actually it’s lovely.

Original poster
Cherrytree696 · 29/08/2026 14:08

Octavia64 · 29/08/2026 14:06

I really needed babysitters when mine were young - but I used the time to catchup on sleep.

I probably would have taken up the offer when they were smaller and weren't sleeping too! But there was never an offer and I felt bad asking.

OP posts:
TheStepboardisfullofbitteroddos · 29/08/2026 14:07

So you spend most of 5 days a week away from them?

Yes I can understand wanting to spend the rest of the time with them.

Might be useful to have the kids used to occasional babysitters so if needed in the future it's not odd for them.

Original poster
Cherrytree696 · 29/08/2026 14:06

theresnolimits · 29/08/2026 14:04

They’re asleep surely? How much time are you missing with them? You can do both.

I don't feel like I'm missing time with them 😊. We have just never done it. Date nights are usually a takeaway and a new TV show that we have both been wanting to watch or just sitting and talking. I don't see it as a problem and had never thought it was weird until it was mentioned.

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 29/08/2026 14:06

I really needed babysitters when mine were young - but I used the time to catchup on sleep.

theresnolimits · 29/08/2026 14:04

They’re asleep surely? How much time are you missing with them? You can do both.

Parker231 · 29/08/2026 14:03

DH and I used a babysitter weekly (one of the nursery key workers) from when DT’s were six months old. DT’s were in bed asleep so we weren’t missing any time with them.

Greenfinch7 · 29/08/2026 14:03

I was the same; I don't know if it's weird, but it seemed perfectly natural to me. Our kids were used to being out and to meeting new people, entertaining themselves, and fitting into all sorts of different situations. In my mind they were just fun and easy to have around- I didn't feel the need to escape.

Bluenotgreen · 29/08/2026 14:02

Why do they need unsupervised access to your children?

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