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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to want to leave our unlicensed rental before tensions worsen?

203 replies

Tiredboymum22 · 29/08/2026 11:32

Our family have been renting for seven years and we haven’t had much luck. We lived somewhere for just under 4 years before our landlord decided to sell the property. We moved somewhere else before being given notice after 6 months. I really wanted to try for a council house and move into temporary accommodation but DH refused as we had a newborn baby so we borrowed money off my mum for a bond and moved into a tiny cottage type house that was out the way for me as I don’t have a car. I was miserable there as the living room wasn’t big enough to swing a cat and it was difficult living there as a family of four.

A family member asked us if we wanted to live in her partner’s house that was in town, closer to the school, and much more spacious. We moved in about 2 years ago and have been paying below market price in rent. He’s been very good with repairs, etc., and left us furniture and everything in good working order. We were under the impression it was a long term let as he wanted to keep this house for his daughter. Anyway, he gave us notice this summer as his relationship broke down unexpectedly and he has nowhere to stay with his kids. We were going to apply for social housing and he was willing to help us before he found out he’d get in a lot of trouble for renting to us unlicensed. Since then he’s had trouble getting landlord insurance and there’s no way for him to register now without getting in a lot of trouble.

I’ve told DH that we should try and leave. The alternative is that we stay for as long as possible and the house either gets repossessed or he pays a hefty fine and can evict us properly. I know that legally he doesn’t have a leg to stand on but I feel like the decent thing to do is to try find somewhere as the latter could take years and cause tension within the family.

The boys’ bedroom is still painted pink and has his daughter’s bed in it. The boys want a bunk bed and a more boyish room but I don’t want to dismantle her bed and paint the room knowing he’s trying to move back. DH doesn’t care and says he has no empathy for him as essentially he committed tax fraud.

I just want to be done with the whole situation but I can’t move somewhere private with DH who just won’t compromise.

AIBU or is DH being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Phineyj · 30/08/2026 07:31

ladyofshertonabbas · 29/08/2026 12:03

What does ‘unlecensed’ mean? There’s no lamdlord license. Does he mean he’s not declaring the earrings with HMRC?
He shoukd be able to get insurance; there isn’t a box saying ‘do you have a licence?’ Which questions on the insurance application are causing issues?

Appreciate these are just things I’m nosey sbout. Just do the right thing by your relative snd move out.

I am also confused about this unless the OP is in Scotland or Wales or one of the (relatively few) areas of England with a local licensing regime.

If he's not been paying tax, that's another matter, but HMRC aren't going to check you've protected a deposit or done a gas safe check or whatever. Not their job.

Original poster
Tiredboymum22 · 30/08/2026 07:32

joanjett · 30/08/2026 00:32

You are going to screw over your landlord aren't you?
He has learnt a bitter lesson from the pair of you

I’m trying to arrange a house viewing next week. Obviously I can’t control the outcome but I’m doing what I can.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tiredboymum22 · 30/08/2026 07:33

Phineyj · 30/08/2026 07:31

I am also confused about this unless the OP is in Scotland or Wales or one of the (relatively few) areas of England with a local licensing regime.

If he's not been paying tax, that's another matter, but HMRC aren't going to check you've protected a deposit or done a gas safe check or whatever. Not their job.

Edited
Show quote history

Wales

OP posts:
StraightTalkingTina · 30/08/2026 07:41

You have in effect made him homeless though javnr you. He has kids too.

i think this man did you a favour when you needed it and you’re treating him appallingly not that it’s come to an end. If you don’t want to keep moving then you need a council house.

Yes you should leave. And you and your DH should do a better job of providing stability for your kids.

otherwise I agree with the other OP. He has every right to move back in and there’s nothing you could do about it if he did. If he runs of our money for his kids visits every weekend, you might find that becomes a reality.

changing schools for your kids might not be ideal but it’s a situation you and your dh are creating. You are both being very ‘entitled’.

Phineyj · 30/08/2026 07:46

Tiredboymum22 · 30/08/2026 07:33

Wales

Show quote history

Oh OK. Would have been useful to include that info. Contact Shelter Wales for specific advice then.

nolongeranutjob · 30/08/2026 07:48

Have you thought about getting a job? You might find it difficult otherwise to get someone who knows you to be a guarantor. Your husband has a history of obtaining goods / services and refusing to pay for them, that's why he has a AVO, he expects to get stuff without paying for it.

When you sign to be a guarantor you are on hook for a lot of money not just the unpaid rent, also the costs of evicting you and damage to the home. As a couple, you have shown you are prepared to screw over other family members who have been kind and tried to help you; what ever the law says, these are the moral values of you both and your family might see you for who you are.

YouHaveAnArse · 30/08/2026 08:15

That's an incredibly judgemental thing to say about someone in an IVA. We don't know the family's circumstances, and very few people run up debt to the point that they are near-bankruptcy because they plan to get it written off to get free stuff.

Grumpyoldcat · 30/08/2026 08:45

As its a family connection ish, you need to be reasonable and do the right thing. Look for somewhere else.

IDrinkTeaAllTheTime · 30/08/2026 08:46

Tiredboymum22 · 29/08/2026 14:38

In reply to some of the questions… where I live you have to register your property with rent smart wales. It’s illegal not to do so. Then you need to do a landlord course to get insurance. Not doing this can result in a 30k fine and it is considered fraud by HMRC. I’ve only found all this out recently. I don’t know why he didn’t do it, I guess he was banking on his relationship with my family member working out. If he’d have done it properly we’d have probably not been able to afford this place but again I didn’t know all this at the time.

DH thinks it’s his own fault and we shouldn’t have to rent somewhere less smart because he failed to do his due diligence. Legally we could claim our rent back but I wouldn’t do that.

yes there was a tenancy agreement and bond. He didn’t put the bond in a landlord deposit scheme but he offered the money back anyway so I’m not concerned about that as I have proof we paid it.

personally I think the issue is with his mortgage agreement too as I know his mortgage is low (hence why our rent is so low too)

Your husband honestly sounds like an entitled prick. This guy made a mistake and it’s not an excuse, but he doesn’t sound like a rogue landlord - just a bit naive maybe.

But he’s been doing you a massive favour and your husband’s way of repaying him is to cause him to lose his home and his children’s inheritance?

Maybe your “D” H should work harder to provide a secure home for his family rather than taking handouts from family and then trying to screw them financially just so that he can get a council house.

I wouldn’t be able to find this man attractive in any way - he sounds like a complete loser.

TheOccupier · 30/08/2026 08:48

Is there an option to apply for social housing simply saying that you have been staying with family for the last two years but they can no longer house you, rather than saying that you have been renting from your landlord?

Beachtastic · 30/08/2026 08:52

Ugh, how can your DH even think for one second of taking advantage of your kind, decent, LL just because you have him over a barrel?

Good luck with finding another place to live, OP, but I'd also be wondering about your DH I'm afraid.

motherhoodisntfortheweak · 30/08/2026 08:54

He’s done you a massive favour now he needs his house back . Pls move out ASAP

Hankunamatata · 30/08/2026 10:12

Could you say you were living there (rent free) as family member but perosn needs house back now and have no where to go?
Do they check bank accounts?

Pinkchickenwine · 30/08/2026 10:41

YouHaveAnArse · 30/08/2026 08:15

That's an incredibly judgemental thing to say about someone in an IVA. We don't know the family's circumstances, and very few people run up debt to the point that they are near-bankruptcy because they plan to get it written off to get free stuff.

I disagree! Lots do, based on the clients that come to me for mortgages.

Pinkchickenwine · 30/08/2026 10:48

Tiredboymum22 · 30/08/2026 07:32

I’m trying to arrange a house viewing next week. Obviously I can’t control the outcome but I’m doing what I can.

Show quote history

So your “D”H decides what he wants and that’s what happens? Why does he get to choose? Act appallingly and make you look awful as well? No way would I accept that!

Boromirsgreyhound · 30/08/2026 13:18

I’m sorry you’re going through all this. And I’m sorry you’re married to a piece of shit. Get advice from Shelter, they’re very good. (And a divorce solicitor).

Shangle · 30/08/2026 13:31

What a prick your DH is.
Maybe try pointing out the LL could have had no empathy for HIM as a man who was irresponsible enough to father a child without having the funds needed to house one appropriately

NorthernLassDownSouth · 30/08/2026 15:21

I don't know about the licensing or mortgage aspects, but from a tax point of view, if the property has only been rented out for two years then that is only the tax years of 2024/25 and 2025/26.
The deadline for filing a return for 2024/25 has passed, so there would be a fine and interest to pay as well as the tax due.
The 2025/26 tax return isn't due until 31 January 2027.
If the rent has been low and repairs paid for, then the likelihood us that there wouldn't be a great deal of tax due. The mortgage interest is also allowable against the tax at 20%.
Less than one year late filing and missing the income as a genuine oversight does not result in punitive fines and certainly not jail time.

LittleBearPad · 30/08/2026 15:40

Yes the claims the poor landlord would be in massive trouble and sent to jail upthread were ridiculous.

YassQweeennn · 30/08/2026 15:56

MargaretThursday · 29/08/2026 11:41

So roughly

You've had 2 years paying below market rent because the house you could afford was too small. Despite paying below market rent, and having furnishings you've had all the repairs done etc.

Your relative will be homeless if you insist on staying.

And your dh thinks your relative is unreasonable?

Wow!

This!!!

im sorry for your situation and you have indeed had very bad luck, but why would you even consider making life hell for someone who has helped you greatly for the last few years and has now fallen on hard times themselves?!!

wfhwfh · 30/08/2026 16:36

IDrinkTeaAllTheTime · 30/08/2026 08:46

Your husband honestly sounds like an entitled prick. This guy made a mistake and it’s not an excuse, but he doesn’t sound like a rogue landlord - just a bit naive maybe.

But he’s been doing you a massive favour and your husband’s way of repaying him is to cause him to lose his home and his children’s inheritance?

Maybe your “D” H should work harder to provide a secure home for his family rather than taking handouts from family and then trying to screw them financially just so that he can get a council house.

I wouldn’t be able to find this man attractive in any way - he sounds like a complete loser.

Show quote history

I agree with this. The LL sounds like he’s been good to you and your husband sounds as if he wants to take advantage of him
dishonestly.

Your DH doesnt sound honest or hardworking or responsible. It’s not a good look to kick someone when theyre down. Especially if the person on the ground had given you a helping hand along the way.

And why are you talking about painting the daughter’s room blue for your boys? It’s not your house and the LL needs it back for HIS family to live in. I think you do know what the right way to behave is, even if your husband doesnt.

emptygoosenest · 30/08/2026 18:53

LittleBearPad · 30/08/2026 15:40

Yes the claims the poor landlord would be in massive trouble and sent to jail upthread were ridiculous.

If he hasn't provided a gas safety certificate or a fire and carbon monoxide inspection if relevant then yes these are very significant and can attract jail time. I was a landlord for a few years and there are very strict regulations around these.
There is also the electrical survey but that is civil breach, all be it with up to 30k fine.
Then there are the fines for not put the deposit in a scheme regardless of whether they got it back.
And any additional requirements of the area they live in.
The landlord could be be fined many thousands of pounds and although it would would require an accident to have happened it does sound as though he is breach of legislation that could lead to imprisonment.

Pinkchickenwine · 30/08/2026 19:00

emptygoosenest · 30/08/2026 18:53

If he hasn't provided a gas safety certificate or a fire and carbon monoxide inspection if relevant then yes these are very significant and can attract jail time. I was a landlord for a few years and there are very strict regulations around these.
There is also the electrical survey but that is civil breach, all be it with up to 30k fine.
Then there are the fines for not put the deposit in a scheme regardless of whether they got it back.
And any additional requirements of the area they live in.
The landlord could be be fined many thousands of pounds and although it would would require an accident to have happened it does sound as though he is breach of legislation that could lead to imprisonment.

Show quote history

Yeah if he’s breaking all that, best thing is OP moves out!

Moreholidaysthanjudithchalmers · 30/08/2026 19:01

Highly unlikely for a well maintained home let at mates rates to a family member though. Much better to come clean now and say sorry just realised what do I need to do to get everything in order.

LittleBearPad · 30/08/2026 19:37

emptygoosenest · 30/08/2026 18:53

If he hasn't provided a gas safety certificate or a fire and carbon monoxide inspection if relevant then yes these are very significant and can attract jail time. I was a landlord for a few years and there are very strict regulations around these.
There is also the electrical survey but that is civil breach, all be it with up to 30k fine.
Then there are the fines for not put the deposit in a scheme regardless of whether they got it back.
And any additional requirements of the area they live in.
The landlord could be be fined many thousands of pounds and although it would would require an accident to have happened it does sound as though he is breach of legislation that could lead to imprisonment.

Show quote history

A first offence, that is made good, isn’t going to see the poor landlord flung into jail.

He can get the relevant checks done - if they haven’t been

Not protecting a deposit that has subsequently been returned isn’t going to result in massive trouble either. This isn’t a professional landlord. It’s a man who did a family member a favour and now wishes he hadn’t !

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