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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to want to leave our unlicensed rental before tensions worsen?

203 replies

Tiredboymum22 · 29/08/2026 11:32

Our family have been renting for seven years and we haven’t had much luck. We lived somewhere for just under 4 years before our landlord decided to sell the property. We moved somewhere else before being given notice after 6 months. I really wanted to try for a council house and move into temporary accommodation but DH refused as we had a newborn baby so we borrowed money off my mum for a bond and moved into a tiny cottage type house that was out the way for me as I don’t have a car. I was miserable there as the living room wasn’t big enough to swing a cat and it was difficult living there as a family of four.

A family member asked us if we wanted to live in her partner’s house that was in town, closer to the school, and much more spacious. We moved in about 2 years ago and have been paying below market price in rent. He’s been very good with repairs, etc., and left us furniture and everything in good working order. We were under the impression it was a long term let as he wanted to keep this house for his daughter. Anyway, he gave us notice this summer as his relationship broke down unexpectedly and he has nowhere to stay with his kids. We were going to apply for social housing and he was willing to help us before he found out he’d get in a lot of trouble for renting to us unlicensed. Since then he’s had trouble getting landlord insurance and there’s no way for him to register now without getting in a lot of trouble.

I’ve told DH that we should try and leave. The alternative is that we stay for as long as possible and the house either gets repossessed or he pays a hefty fine and can evict us properly. I know that legally he doesn’t have a leg to stand on but I feel like the decent thing to do is to try find somewhere as the latter could take years and cause tension within the family.

The boys’ bedroom is still painted pink and has his daughter’s bed in it. The boys want a bunk bed and a more boyish room but I don’t want to dismantle her bed and paint the room knowing he’s trying to move back. DH doesn’t care and says he has no empathy for him as essentially he committed tax fraud.

I just want to be done with the whole situation but I can’t move somewhere private with DH who just won’t compromise.

AIBU or is DH being unreasonable?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Hardsell · 02/09/2026 18:55

Tiredboymum22 · 02/09/2026 18:49

Thank you for all the replies. Tbh I doubt the council will even do anything because it’s not in their best interest! There’s a housing crisis so the less people to house the better in their eyes!

I need to get my ducks in a row now!

You could go down the DV route? It could be worth contacting womans aid?

Original poster
Tiredboymum22 · 02/09/2026 18:49

Thank you for all the replies. Tbh I doubt the council will even do anything because it’s not in their best interest! There’s a housing crisis so the less people to house the better in their eyes!

I need to get my ducks in a row now!

OP posts:
flirtygirl · 02/09/2026 13:35

Even though he's reported it, the council may do nothing without firm evidence, so make sure you keep all the paperwork your husband can use safe.

Also keep the kids, your own and your financial papers safe.

Take everything to your mums, what you don't need sell.

Start divorce proceedings and then move from your mums into social housing.
You should have done so with the newborn but you can't go back to the past.

Nows your chance so don't let him talk you around, he has shown you who he is with the hill walk, the refusal on school change, the lack of help even with a bus pass after your op and now with his behaviour over the landlord too.
His past refusal to move imto temporary accommodation was bad enough and all this awful behaviour since.

He has 100% shown himself that he does not love you or the kids. Remember this and move on without him.

Spirallingdownwards · 02/09/2026 12:38

So now the threat of reporting LL has gone because he has done it. Leave today with the kids and go to your Mum's and LTB.

99bottlesofkombucha · 02/09/2026 12:33

Well, it’s done op. Take the kids, move in with your mum and dh can fuck off. Tell the relative you’re very sorry about your dickhead partner and you know you owe them.

WindsorGreatPark · 02/09/2026 12:23

He's a proper vindictive bastard. I think you will start to see more and more of it after you leave. Your mum has offered you space. Take it. Start divorce proceedings and get yourself on the housing register independently of him.

IDrinkTeaAllTheTime · 02/09/2026 11:49

What an absolute cunt of a person he is - I won’t use the word “man” because he really isn’t.

I hope after this you finally see him for what he is and divorce him. Maybe cook him an individual beef wellington before you do 😉.

Beachtastic · 02/09/2026 10:32

Just to clarify something from your first post, OP

DH doesn’t care and says he has no empathy for him as essentially he committed tax fraud

Your DH has no empathy because he's a fucking psychopath.

Moreholidaysthanjudithchalmers · 02/09/2026 10:29

Please look out for yourself and the children. He is a controlling vile man. Please speak to women’s aid or any local organisations for advice and support. Speak to housing you don’t feel safe living with abusive man. It’s domestic abuse even if he hasn’t hit you. Look up coercive control.
Tell your mum and go to your mums today.
I think his gotcha with the LL will backfire. They contact landlord he says very sorry it was a mates rate favour to family, pays for licence and then can evict dh. Alternatively him and his workmates/rugby mates etc pay dh a visit and ‘suggest’ he moves out.

BeenThereBackThen · 02/09/2026 10:27

…just read you latest update. I feel sorry for the relative, no good deed goes unpunished, once again.

That’s another person to add to the list of ppl your DH has fallen out with, right?

BeenThereBackThen · 02/09/2026 10:22

Tiredboymum22 · 29/08/2026 14:38

In reply to some of the questions… where I live you have to register your property with rent smart wales. It’s illegal not to do so. Then you need to do a landlord course to get insurance. Not doing this can result in a 30k fine and it is considered fraud by HMRC. I’ve only found all this out recently. I don’t know why he didn’t do it, I guess he was banking on his relationship with my family member working out. If he’d have done it properly we’d have probably not been able to afford this place but again I didn’t know all this at the time.

DH thinks it’s his own fault and we shouldn’t have to rent somewhere less smart because he failed to do his due diligence. Legally we could claim our rent back but I wouldn’t do that.

yes there was a tenancy agreement and bond. He didn’t put the bond in a landlord deposit scheme but he offered the money back anyway so I’m not concerned about that as I have proof we paid it.

personally I think the issue is with his mortgage agreement too as I know his mortgage is low (hence why our rent is so low too)

Wow, your DH is nasty.

How about this, it’s DH’s fault he can’t afford rent and can’t put a roof over your heads. I think he should get a grip and get a better job instead of screwing over his relative (who is just starting in life, seems a decent person and was only trying to help).

What a bastard.

TheOccupier · 02/09/2026 10:11

What a mess. Still, if he's snitched on the landlord already he has no cards left to play. Pack your things and take the DC to your mum's house today

Beachtastic · 02/09/2026 10:04

Tiredboymum22 · 02/09/2026 09:55

DH and I had a massive row. I told him that he applied for the tiny house we lived in before discussing it with me first then just made my life difficult. Wouldn’t let me change ds’ school to the one literally across the road. Wouldn’t let me get rid of furniture that was too bulky for the front room (although I’d bought it). Wouldn’t consider swapping rooms (so our two ds had the larger room) because his gaming work computer wouldn’t fit in the smaller room. I had to walk up a steep hill with a push chair to get DS to school after having two operations so ended up paying for a monthly bus ticket (which he didn’t financially contribute to). The icing on the cake was when he got himself into debt to rent a shop that was larger than our entire downstairs. That’s when I decided to move and told him he either comes with me or stays in the house.

Told him he’s treated me like shit and I regret our marriage. He then rang the council and dobbed in our LL. Purely out of spite!

Oh jeeeeezzzz OP he's vile. I'm sorry. I hope you can get away from him ASAP.

Original poster
Tiredboymum22 · 02/09/2026 09:55

DH and I had a massive row. I told him that he applied for the tiny house we lived in before discussing it with me first then just made my life difficult. Wouldn’t let me change ds’ school to the one literally across the road. Wouldn’t let me get rid of furniture that was too bulky for the front room (although I’d bought it). Wouldn’t consider swapping rooms (so our two ds had the larger room) because his gaming work computer wouldn’t fit in the smaller room. I had to walk up a steep hill with a push chair to get DS to school after having two operations so ended up paying for a monthly bus ticket (which he didn’t financially contribute to). The icing on the cake was when he got himself into debt to rent a shop that was larger than our entire downstairs. That’s when I decided to move and told him he either comes with me or stays in the house.

Told him he’s treated me like shit and I regret our marriage. He then rang the council and dobbed in our LL. Purely out of spite!

OP posts:
99bottlesofkombucha · 01/09/2026 09:20

Tiredboymum22 · 31/08/2026 18:17

Not at all! We’ve never missed a rent payment here or anywhere else!

Show quote history

Having read the thread, it sounds like you should clearly tell your dh that you’re thinking about a divorce, because he’s horrible to people and he doesn’t care what you think or how you feel, and why would anyone stay with that??

backformoreofthesame · 01/09/2026 08:49

so you can move in with your mum and leave your H to sort his own life out?

if it’s his way or nothing then you need to meet that with the same or you end up with no life

wfhwfh · 01/09/2026 08:41

OP, does your husband work?

Im just struggling to understand why you dont just move to a private rental?

Moreholidaysthanjudithchalmers · 01/09/2026 08:14

Please do get some proper advice. Your husband sounds very controlling and you only sound like you are there with him as feel no other option.
Your husband frankly is talking nonsense.
Your mum sounds like she’s looking out for you.

LittleBearPad · 31/08/2026 22:12

StraightTalkingTina · 31/08/2026 21:03

The house isn’t going to get repossessed. Your DH will be evicted, as will you if you stay.

your rental agreement will be null and void. It already is because the legal terms and conditions of letting in wales are not met.

you and the kids need to go. Let him do whatever he wants.

Show quote history

Agreed. Why would the house be repossessed? It won’t be.

StraightTalkingTina · 31/08/2026 21:03

Tiredboymum22 · 31/08/2026 17:50

Unfortunately there’s no more I can do and I just have to forget all about this and our LL. Asked DM if we’d be okay to move in and save money for a deposit on another private rental and she said yes. DH refuses and said the minute I leave with the kids (ending the tenancy) here, he reports our LL to HMRC and the local council. That way he stays in the house and eventually applies for a council house once it gets repossessed! I’m so fucking upset and I don’t know how to get past this!

My head is a mess and I can’t believe he’s consider doing that to me! On the other hand, he thinks AIBU to consider separating him from the kids or living separately!

Going to delete this thread in a min in case he sees it all.

Thanks for advice people. Clearly I’ve fucked my life and finances up enough to get myself into this situation so I’m just going to have to stay and save as much as possible!

The house isn’t going to get repossessed. Your DH will be evicted, as will you if you stay.

your rental agreement will be null and void. It already is because the legal terms and conditions of letting in wales are not met.

you and the kids need to go. Let him do whatever he wants.

Backedoffhackedoff · 31/08/2026 20:36

LarryForPrimeMinister · 31/08/2026 20:36

Also how did UC pay for housing element if he wasn't properly registered? Geuine question.

I don’t believe they cross check this.

LarryForPrimeMinister · 31/08/2026 20:36

Also how did UC pay for housing element if he wasn't properly registered? Geuine question.

LarryForPrimeMinister · 31/08/2026 20:35

This shall be frowned upon.

Leave. Stay at your mums for a few weeks. Then tell the council your homeless. You will have to go into temporary housing for a while, maybe even years depending where you are but it's the one way round it.

caringcarer · 31/08/2026 20:05

I'd absolutely divorced e your prick of a h. He is delusional if he thinks a council will find him a house as a lone male.

SunnyRedSnail · 31/08/2026 19:50

@Tiredboymum22 I am not sure your marriage will survive this?!?! Your DH is behaving VERY badly. Your poor LL/relative who has tried to do you a favour.

I am a big believer in karma and if your DH carries through with his threat, then I hope one day that someone sh*ts on him from a great height and he gets what he deserves.

Can your relative (the owner) move in with you (give him permission to do so) and so you become his lodgers? That way you don't have tenant rights so your DH cannot carry out his threats.

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