AIBU to think people are less sociable and friendly nowadays?

I remember I once helped a woman with twins navigate a shop door with her pushchair as she was struggling-that's probably frowned upon on here as well. I should've just thought to myself "why do I need to give a fuck about some randomer, let her struggle with her pushchair herself"

Where did they say that? Who even suggested that? None of that is close to what posters are talking about.

Helping a stranger in the situation you have written is completely different than going up to a stranger who is sitting by themself and expecting them to provide you with conversation because you are sociable.

You surely cannot think your situation helping a stranger obviously struggling and the ones OP described are the same thing.

She was a new colleague so basically a stranger and had already indicated she didn’t want to chat, yet the OP felt the need to intrude even further.

OP will now be known as the weird colleague.

Some would say it’s rude and unfriendly to start a thread and then not have the courtesy to engage with people responding to your question.

what’s wrong with you craving attention from strangers ? . See how that sounds , some people are social some not .nothing wrong with either

I’ve only read the op so far and I don’t have time to read the replies, I’ll come back to it, but…

good!! The world used to be set up to serve extroverts. And only them. Everyone else had to conform. Introverts had to just put up with constant intrusion. Not everyone wants to make friends everywhere they go. And, why should they? Why should your want to say hello to everyone trump their want not to?

i think the change happened during covid. So many people loved that they no longer had to socialise. So they carried it on.

i would like to see it become the norm to greet strangers with a slight smile. That’s it. Then they get to decide if they want to talk to you about the fitness class or the weather or not.

I think you were rude and intrusive!

As I understand it she was in a class waiting for it to start.

If she wanted a product review, she should have gone online.And looked for reviews about the class.If there are any.

If you're sitting waiting for it to start, the best way to find out what it's like is to do it not start annoying other people for feedback.

Do you have any reading comprehension skills?

remember I once helped a woman with twins navigate a shop door with her pushchair as she was struggling-that's probably frowned upon on here as well. I should've just thought to myself "why do I need to give a fuck about some randomer, let her struggle with her pushchair herself".

I don’t strike up conversations with strangers, but helping a woman with a buggy or a heavy suitcase is completely different, especially on the tube. Also common courtesies.

I see you have a talent for misinterpreting things said, so well done you , yourself 😉.
I help make up change if someone is short of money in their shopping, as well as lending bike pumps if a fellow cyclist has a flat - these are just common courtesies clearly 🤔.

The best way to find out what the gym class was like was to do it yourself. Why are you asking people to explain a gym class to you when you're about to find out for yourself.

Wow we could all just get rid of product reviews entirely! No one ever wants to know what somethings like before they try it do they.

Don't think people are the problem. I think you expect too much. Nobody does care about a random stranger or particularly want to talk to them.

Quite right. I'd let a door slam in your face.

ETA-why are you on a forum where randoms 😱talk to each other if you hate people?

Except for the bus which I agree was overstepping, it was work and a hobby. She's not a "randomer" as the previous PP said-they both work at the same place. There was no approaching in the street, but well done you for being ever so attractive to men that they're always making a beeline for you I guess?

I remember I once helped a woman with twins navigate a shop door with her pushchair as she was struggling-that's probably frowned upon on here as well. I should've just thought to myself "why do I need to give a fuck about some randomer, let her struggle with her pushchair herself".

Pretty much this.

Breaks from work are often the only time people have to catch up with personal correspondence those things they need to arrange in their own lives. That person probably did really need to reply to that message and you have no idea what's going on in their lives.

The bus is just weird. I wouldn't have wanted to speak to you either.

The best way to find out what the gym class was like was to do it yourself. Why are you asking people to explain a gym class to you when you're about to find out for yourself.

Don't think people are the problem. I think you expect too much. Nobody does care about a random stranger or particularly want to talk to them.

The only time I have made friends by being approached in the street is with men 😳 and the only reason that happens is because they actually fancied me, despite what they may say. You know this is true because they tend not to make a beline for other men, unless of course they fancy them as well.

Unless you live in a quirky 90's romcom, friends aren't usually made with strangers out in the wild unless something specific brought you together, like school, work, parties, volunteering, introductions from mutual friends....

@Anarchy99 but in OPs example one was a new job the other was a shared fitness interest. Not exactly crazy places to expect to chat to people.

I don’t look for friends in any case. Very occasionally I click with someone and that is that.

Yeah but you're someone who doesn't need to talk to other people. I don't think OP had the intention of being best buds for life with everyone she tried to have a bit of small talk with. Maybe you're so angry because you're misinterpreting people's intentions and think someone is desperate to be lifelong friends with you just because they mentioned the weather. I'm fairly certain they're not 😆

Not by approaching random people who are just minding their own business and trying to to force them into social conversation.

It just happens organically (eg sharing an office or day to day casual contact or online via a mutual interest). I don’t look for friends in any case. Very occasionally I click with someone and that is that.

Someone invading my space because they need friends would instantly put me off and ensure that I avoided them as much as possible.

How on earth did you make any friends in the first place then?

If the OP is a man then it’s creepy. Men don’t usually feel the need to strike up conversations with random people because they want friends.

Where did I paint introverts as ‘stuck up and rude’? Wanting randomers not to push into your day isn’t being stuck up, and rude is how I would describe the behaviour that the OP lists.

it isn’t just introverts anyway. I’m AuDHD and loathe being forced into conversation. Women are conditioned to be polite but I’m finding it easier to be less so now I’m menopausal. If someone strikes up a conversation with me then one of us is going to end up being pissed off.

Please people - if you want to talk to some stranger, please find out how to identify your people and if in doubt, don’t foist yourself on strangers.

You sound annoying tbh

Heaven help him on here if OP turns out to be a man!

Okay how about ‘rude’, ‘cringeworthy’, ‘embarrassing’, ‘lacking social awareness’?

Just because there are major world events happening, we are still allowed to be horrified by the behaviour of others.

The work one is the worst though. If OP’s place of work is anything like anywhere I have ever worked, foisting herself onto some random colleague who had given consistent signals that she didn’t want to talk will likely have given OP the reputation of being ‘in your face’ - that’s never a good start to a job and she may find people actively avoiding social situations when she is there

I'm as introverted as they come and I wouldn't mind OP at all. Don't paint all introverts as stuck up and rude.

Take a look at the meaning of the word ‘horrifying’ in a dictionary, take a look at a newspaper and everything that is going on in the world, and then come back here and re-read your post. I think you’ll find that you’ve overstated your case.

You could argue it's self absorbed and rude to park yourself next to someone and intrude in their personal space assuming that the person is there just for your entertainment. Especially in the bus situation.

Perhaps people are less friendly now but I’ve never been particularly sociable to strangers. Just because someone is sat on their own doesn’t mean they’re lonely or wish to talk to someone