AIBU to think people are less sociable and friendly nowadays?

Exactly! The OP was incredibly rude and intrusive. The colleague had made it clear she wasn’t up for a chat yet the OP ignored it and intruded on her space and time anyway.

Oh my god!! Just going up to a woman peacefully sitting on her own on the bus is horrifying. Why would you think that was an acceptable thing to do?

I’m sorry but you’re too intense, you have to respect people’s space! if you want to make friends at least try to cultivate it naturally over time, not just canon ball your way into it.

OP - are you neurodivergent? You are missing very clear social cues.

I am AuDHD and hate people being intrusive.

Are you quite tactile as well as I have noticed that people who are quite full on often punctuate their conversation with touching the other person’s arm or whatever.

I have resorted to being very blunt with people who touch me though.

I’m way less sociable now, I think some of it is due to perimenopause, I just want to be at home on the lounge with my dog all the time. I find it hard to do chit chat, just feels annoying.

I did try today at a meeting and the lady ended up just first turning away then walking away. Was a bit relieved really. She might be the same, I’m sure it wasn’t personal.

How is example 1 rude though? The woman from work was already doing something, it’s no different to interrupting someone on the phone or reading a book. Just because she was using her phone doesn’t mean it was less valid.

I don’t know OP, I think there’s a time and a place. Also some social interactions are easier and come with less pressure than others. We had a lovely chat with a bartender the other day while he was mixing our drinks, very pleasant and nice, but then it ended as we took them and walked off. No worry from either side that someone was going to be weird or hard to get rid of. Maybe that’s the issue in some of these situations, the person wasn’t expecting an interaction, didn’t know how to respond or what the ‘rules’ were. They don’t know you or what you are like and weren’t necessarily in a situation where they were expecting to or wanted to socialise. I’m afraid I would have reacted exactly the same on the bus, that’s not really an appropriate situation for striking up a conversation with a stranger, most people just want to get to where they’re going and they might have stuff on their mind.

I think these responses kind of prove your point. OP.
We've spend that last 30+ years drumming into children that their feelings, wants and needs override everyone else's and the somewhat predictable result is that people no longer have any remorse about being rude and feel perfectly fine about blanking people because THEY don't want to talk.
I think it's tremendously sad and illustrates a breakdown in society. But you are unlikely to get any sympathy here, where it's all about boundaries and not owing anyone even a smile.

You need to read people.

I absolutely loathe people just coming up to me when I am
happily sitting on my own and then talking at me. I feel the need to be polite but I can’t wait to get away.

Maybe I am misreading but it sounds like you make a beeline for people who are on their own so that you can start a conversation and make friends. You need to learn to read the room. Just because someone is on their own, don’t assume they want to talk. That’s projecting your desperate need for company onto them.

Sitting at your co worker’s table when she had given you clear indication that she did not want to engage was incredibly rude.

Please stop doing this unless you know it will be welcome. You sound intense and that is going to put people off.

@HotPatoot “I’ve always been a very sociable person”

Not everyone is. I do think smart phones have made some people antisocial.

“A thousand friends inside a screen,
The loneliest crowd you’ve ever seen.
We share a laugh, we post a view,
But ignore the person next to you.”

I'm a pretty friendly and sociable person but I'd find your behaviour rude and intrusive I'm afraid.

I can be sociable but the op sounds too intense to me if people try too hard with me i push back

I try to be polite but there has some a point where the message gets through

I'm not talking to some random stranger on the bus lol. I catch buses all the time. I only speak to people if they ask for directions I'm happy to help but other than that I'm not obligated to have a conversation with anyone.

I'm Gen Z if that helps

You aren’t owed friendship or conversation from a total stranger though, you have no idea what some of them were doing or why they wanted some peace but they are entitled to their own time and it doesn’t make them unfriendly or antisocial.

Example 1 - Rude, but perhaps she was having a bad day or had bad news. Your other examples make me suspect there might have been more to this.

The other examples - take the hint. These people don't want to engage. There's friendly (nod and smile at stranger) but perhaps she's at a fitness class just to exercise and doesn't want to meet people. Sometimes you try to be nice to people and end up with a clinger. No good deed goes unpunished etc.

I’d have chatted to you for the first two, since you were new, but not been at all thrilled at you talking to me on the bus. Buses are reading time AFAIC. Would you have talked to Sheila or the bus woman if they’d been deep in a book?

Sheila might have had stuff she needed to get done on her phone, or might just have needed the downtime.

When I get a break at work or time to myself I just want to be left alone I don’t want to have to make small talk with a stranger I’d actually find that very annoying.

Example 1: rude
Example 2: bit weird and dismissive
Example 3: not rude in the slightest - no-one is obliged to make small-talk with strangers on public transport.

Oh goodness, I could have been either of the last two women! I probably would have made an effort with a new colleague but I have never been one for random conversations with strangers. If someone I didn’t know came and sat next to me on the bus and started talking, I would be very unamused (and probably put my headphones in).

Some people just want a minutes peace, you do sound a bit intense just inserting yourself into what they’re doing. I wouldn’t want someone random chatting to me on the bus either.