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AIBU?

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What do you consider late?

161 replies

TheOnlyWayIsYazz · 29/08/2026 09:26

I don't mean for something like a job interview where punctuality is vital, or for anything with a rigid start time. I mean just to meet someone or get somewhere in general.

When I'm meeting one friend of mine - who I do love dearly, by the way! - she insists on messaging me to let me know what time she's planning to leave, what time she HAS left and then, if she's even a couple of minutes behind schedule, will message again to say she's going to be a few minutes late; usually with added detail around the tube getting stuck behind the red signal, the escalator being broken or whatever. It makes me laugh, because if two or three minutes either way matters, she could be 30 seconds earlier by not sending the bloody messages 😁

I'm totally different. I wouldn't even notice someone being less than ten minutes late; it just feels like a normal margin of error. I certainly wouldn't message. If you're going to be 20 minutes or half an hour late then yes, tell me, but otherwise, why bother? I'm not your boss; I'm not going to make you do overtime to make up for it!

OP posts:
PrincessHoneysuckle · 29/08/2026 10:07

Anything after 5 mins

TigerRag · 29/08/2026 10:07

In part I think it depends what we're doing. If it's just a coffee and we agreed about 10, I'm not going to complain that you turned up at 10.10 bit different if it's a hooked event

fumingrightnow1 · 29/08/2026 10:07

I always let people know even if it is just a minute or 2

sanityisamyth · 29/08/2026 10:05

Queenncat · 29/08/2026 09:34

All the messaging is odd. However, for me the following applies, in any situation...

Being early is on time
Being on time is late, and
Being late is unforgivable

;)

100% this. 1 minute late is late!

Krevlornswath · 29/08/2026 10:05

I think what she's doing is within the realm of normal. Surely if she is on public transport or has been delayed by traffic then she is sending the messages whilst waiting to continue the journey, and isn't delaying herself at all by sending a text.

We all know there are plenty of people who are mortally offended by anyone arriving late even in short increments. I usually update out of politeness rather than fear of recrimination.

I don't mind or take it personally if others are late but if it's going to be more than 5 or 10 minutes it's nice to know so you can get on with other things. For example I met a friend in the city recently and we agreed a meeting point, she messaged to say she'd be 15 mins late so I spent 15 minutes browsing a bookshop rather than standing around doing nothing, which was preferable.

Jellycatspyjamas · 29/08/2026 10:05

I don’t really think about 5-10 minutes if it’s seeing a friend, on their part. I tend to aim for 10 minutes early so if the train gets stuck I’m there on time. I wouldn’t notice a couple of minutes at all.

I did have a friend who was constantly half an hour late, in my mind that’s incredibly rude.

PuppyMonkey · 29/08/2026 10:01

Your friend sounds like my kind of person TBH. Grin

40notouttoday · 29/08/2026 09:55

My husband and his family think 2 hours either way is acceptable so I feel like I've been conditioned just to never expect any one to be on time at this point 😂

Anarchy99 · 29/08/2026 09:37

I would do what your friend does. Better than just swanning in late without warning. Late is late so turning up at 1.01 for a 1.00 meet up with no warning is rude.

With mobiles there is little excuse

Growlybear83 · 29/08/2026 09:37

I would always let someone know if I was going to be even a minute late - it’s just common courtesy.

Queenncat · 29/08/2026 09:34

All the messaging is odd. However, for me the following applies, in any situation...

Being early is on time
Being on time is late, and
Being late is unforgivable

;)