What do you consider late?

My husband thinks upto an hour late is acceptable and doesn't think that's rude. I cannot make him understand he has kept someone waiting. His parents were always punctual so I don't understand why he thinks this behaviour is acceptable

10 mins I wouldn't really feel like I was late.
I hate early people, always pressuring everyone else to live at high speed like them. Like the pp above, cross that her tour mates arrived bang on time, 'making everyone else wait for them'. ?!!?! You've made yourself wait!!

I am another person who thinks early is on time. I am not exactly frustrated when someone is late but I do appreciate a text if they are going to be more than 5 minutes late.

I’m an arrive early person. Most of my friends are arrive late people. I would expect an update if they were going to be beyond 10 mins late (ideally as soon as they know they are behind schedule - sometimes that could mean I have extra time at home or get a later train in).

Anything after 2 minutes is LATE.

DH always faffs before we’re leaving for anywhere and it drives me nuts. One day, I swear I’ll drive off without him.

I’ve got a friend who is regularly 1-2 hours late so I would really appreciate your friend and her updates 🤣

It's soooo rude and arrogant and self centred to be late all the time, purely because you CBA. Suggests very strongly that you think your time is more important than mine, and that you are more important than me. I will tolerate it for a short while - maybe put up with it 3 or 4 times and then I'm done.

Funnily enough, these same people always manage to get to hair and beauty and medical appointments on time, and also manage to get to the airport and train station on time, it's just their 'friends' who have to suffer their ludicrous lateness.

Can't be arsed with tardiness, and inconsiderate, selfish people. Into the bin they go!

Oh, and 15 minutes late with no warning or notice is acceptable. Any longer than that with no warning and no apology and they get 3-4 chances and then I'm done.

I guarantee everyone hates you and thinks you're flaky! It's not hard to be on time. If you've arranged to meet someone at a certain time, meet them when arranged, not within some arbitrary time bubble that only exists in your own head

Are you sure she’s not doing it because you, by your own admission, see 10 mins late as no big deal, wouldn’t even bother messaging if it’s less than 20 and she’s annoyed at having to sit in a restaurant or wherever on her own waiting for you and wants you to reply with confirmation you’re also en route and not going to be 15 mins late without telling her??

But in answer to your actual question I’d message if more than a couple of minutes if it was a 1:1 meet up and I knew my friend would be waiting on their own. In a larger group probably wouldn’t bother unless it was more than 5-10.

She's being polite isn't she? Letting you know she's late. I daresay one text would be enough tho and not so descriptive!

I would message if I was going to be even a minute late so they knew I was on the way. Late is any time after the agreed time!

I'm with your friend. I'll always let people know if I'm a few minutes late.

Exactly!

I am more like your friend. I don't constantly message but if I was going to be even slightly after the agreed time I would. That rarely happens though because I tend to get places early as I leave in good time, build in contingency and so on.

Being early is on time
Being on time is late, and
Being late is unforgivable
@Queenncat Yes! This is me too.

Twice this year I have been on tours with other people. Frequently there is an arrangement that we will all meet at a certain place at a set time for whatever the next activity is. It soon becomes really noticeable that it is always the same person/people who arrive last. Not late necessarily. Bang on time in fact. But still last while everyone else in the group gets there a few minutes early and is then waiting for this person/people. Same person. Every. Single. Time.

I’d message if I thought I was going to be even 1 minute late, I despise lateness in both myself and others so it very very rarely happens!

I think late is any time after the arranged meet time. 10 minutes is taking the piss if its a regular thing.

I generally message people to let them know I'm leaving mine and that I'll be "however many minutes it takes to get there" if I was then going to be late for whatever reason (sudden traffic, bus not turning up) I'd let someone know even if it was by a short amount of time, and roughly by how long, thats just common courtesy

I'd message if it would be more than 5 minutes. If I was in a position where I could message without it delaying me further, i.e. on a bus or whatever, I'd message if I would be late at all.

I'm one of those people who would rather sit outside in their car for 10 minutes rather than be late.

But for meeting a friend, anything more than 5 minutes would be late to me. It's just rude not to bother to arrive on time.

It depends on a few things - some friends I would plan to be early and would let them know if I was going to be even 2 mins late as they are anxious. Others I would probably say ‘see you at 1, or quarter past ish’. It would also depend if we were meeting at a cafe/pub where they’d be comfortable, or outside where I’d feel bad at them standing like a lemon. And of course it depends on mobile signal!

I might be in the minority but I think late is anything past the time you agreed to meet, so I'd really appreciate the updates.
It's normally people who are late who have no problem with lateness as they have never been the person left waiting.

Anything more than 5 minutes needs a message. Anything towards 20 or 30 minutes is rude, depending on how far we were meeting

My sister is late to everything always has been I know if I say meet at 11am coffee she’ll turn up at 20-30mins late so I just say 10.30am now assuming she’s late. I’m more a if I’m going to be over 5mins late I’ll text. Depends on the person your meeting. My youngest DD teen can never get ready on time the oldest dd is always ready on time. It’s in built I think!

Late is late. That’s not necessarily a problem, especially if you let the person know (particularly if they are waiting to meet you somewhere rather than at home anyway).

But standing around outside when someone is more than 5 mins late and they haven’t let you know is rude and inconsiderate. It’s not the lateness itself - that happens. Just tell me and I’ll go off and get a coffee or whatever..

I’d let someone know if I was going to be 5 minutes late or more so they can get a drink without me or whatever instead of sat there waiting

Absolutely,rather that than wondering where she is!