What do you consider late?

Actually it's when you're at the place and someone who lives out of town texts to say they're just heading out now.

"Yes I agree about the inconsiderate, pressurising horror that is people being early."

I don't care about people being early at all. It does no harm.

For drinks up to 20 minutes late is fine, I don't even need a message especially if know the person is always a bit late. I've waited for friends up to an hour because I'm fine having the first drink alone. In some countries, they believe you must wait for friends to arrive before having the first alcoholic drink. I obviously think that's BS.

For food, I don't like lateness. People say to order without them, but the staff don't like that so in fact everyone has to wait.

No, but you can send a message by speaking it and it will send via WhatsApp or other systems

Yes I agree about the inconsiderate, pressurising horror that is people being early.

Even worse when they judge others for not being ready early like them. That is a really closed-minded, supercilious attitude, performed by people just looking for an opportunity to be judgemental IME.

If it’s a casual meet-up with a friend I think a message is still required for less than 20 min late..and this is coming from a persistent late offender! I’m always late for everything (I blame my adhd but wouldn’t tell anyone that cos it just sounds like an excuse). I’m usually only 5-10 min late though. 5-7 min I prob wouldn’t message. Anything over I’d just send a quick sorry I’m running late message but no detail involved. I’m rarely 20 min+ late but if I was I’d definitely give a more detailed reason

I once had someone turn up 2 hours early. He lived 5 minutes away. He was one of those who'd either turn up late or early. He didn't understand my issue of him turning up 15 minutes late. I once turned up 2 minutes "late" (on time by my watch) and got moaned at because he'd turned up 10 minutes early and I'd kept him waiting

It's part of the reason why we're no longer friends

you cant text while you drive

I’d say 10
min is fine after that I’d expect a message

I hate lateness to the point I lie to my husband about what time appointments etc are. He is always late and I find it incredibly rude so I’ll agree to meet friends/parent appointments etc and tell him the time is 10-15 mins before it is.

Up to 5 mins late, not an issue but I would text, especially if the person is waiting on their own

Early drives me mad
Early is not on time - it’s irritating and pressurising!

Ok if you get to a cafe early and I arrive on time - no effect

NOT ok if you turn up to my house 15 minutes early and I am still:
Preparing dinner
Finishing my meal before we go out
Getting ready/dressed
Packing a bag with what I need

Then you are making me rush and feel flustered - like I’m the one who is late when I’m not!

On time is on time, early is annoying!

Has he never experienced the other person giving up on him and leaving? Does he never go to concerts or theatre?

Late is a choice made by people who think their time is more important than yours.

I don't waot. If someone doesn't turn up on time, I'm gone.

I would find this annoying, I don't need to know every step you take.
It's not common courtesy, it's irritating.

Agree with this

Once it hits 10 minutes late without a genuine good reason I’m out of there.

I’m going home or I’ve ordered my food if you don’t care then why should I care.

On time is my expectation. Being early is on time, anything late is late and I would expect that to be very exceptional circumstances, not habitual. I don’t do late, it stresses me out.

Every week I take my friend food shopping, pick her up at 10 ish. I always text to say I'll be up in a minute/ might be a few minutes late, followed by one to say I'm leaving now or on the way. It makes no odds if I'm late, shops will still be there BUT the arranged time is 10 o'clock so I'll keep her informed.
I've got another friend who's always late so if we go anywhere and I'm picking her to, I text at 10/ 5 minutes to to remind her of the time, text when I'm leaving and have told her if she's not ready I'll go without her. She's always ready then!

If me and a friend are meeting for coffee at 3 I will be planning on being there for 2.55, if I thought I was going to be later than that I send a text saying I might be a few minutes late, even if I was parking at 2.59 I would text saying I was on my way in!
I hate lateness I just think it’s so rude.

10 minutes.

The general rule is to text at the point you know you're going to be late, ideally before the other person sets off, especially if you'll be more than 10 mins late so the person can delay their own departure or not worry about their own delay.

So if it takes us both 30 minutes to get to the venue and were meeting at 6pm, text me by 5:40 to say you're running 10 mins late, or just be 10 mins late if driving.

If it takes us both 30 mins and you'll be 15 mins late, you obviously know that youre running late before id be setting so text me before then so I can adjust my leaving time.

I think if it's up to 5 mins late I wouldn't bother messaging in advance, although I'd probably still say sorry in late when I arrived - and I am chronically late for everything, so I have to do this a lot. Beyond 5 mins I'd try to get in touch, if possible and if it wasn't going to slow me down too much.

Late is anything other than your clock being off by a minute or two so not all parties agree on the exact time. In the age of smartphones, that means the precise time.

If someone is alone, I would let them know if I'm even goingto be a little late, and I'd do my best not to be.
People are often very busy with work, kids, family care etc, and I'd try not to be disrespectful of their time.

This is where we are all different. I understand the making sure you’re home but surely there are a million things you could be doing so it’s not wasted time. Ok, you can’t be painting but surely you could be doing something else. My friends and I often cook while each other is there so again it’s a non-issue for me; my friend’s visit doesn’t stop me doing things.
Funnily enough, when it’s home visits we do usually say 2ish rather than a strict 2 which again proves my point about communication.

This thread reminds me why I rarely agree to arrive at a very precise time. I usually say I'll be there between 7.15 and 7.30pm . That way there is a 15 min margin. I aim for 7.15 but sometimes it is closer to 7.30 by the time I arrive. That way the person.meeting me can choose to arrive early or even at 7.40pm as that would be ok with me.

Obviously not for things when arrival time counts but for social and casual meetups or at someones house, I do this a lot. Noone complains