I type this as I luxuriate in bed on a Saturday morning. The kids are at their dad's, I am at home, and my new man of a couple of months standing has recently left.
He is a lovely man. Well, no massive red flags at this stage anyway. But his sex noises give me the ick and it is honestly making me wonder whether I can carry it on!
I know that's shallow but he makes this kind of repeated "Ooooh yeah, Ooooh yeah, Ooooh yeah' thing at the end in exactly the same way each time, and now I know it's coming (if you know what I mean) I struggle not to laugh or want to clamp my legs shut and crawl into a hole.
I know it's not his fault and would be the worst reason I've ever broken up with anyone. And it would be a waste of an otherwise nice thing we have, but is it even possible to change? Is it like how you sound when you sneeze?!
This morning I almost said something, but what can I say?!