AIBU to feel hurt by my partner's sibling's comment about our baby?

You asking what the name means probably came across as a dig, which he retaliated too saying it's better than the name you chose for your child. I'm pretty sure he would have meant the name and not the actual child.
Asking what a name means is an odd question, aren't most names given just because the parents likes the name? If someone asked me what my child's name meant I wouldn't have an answer for them.

So true.

Your in-law's response wasn't just unwarranted but aggressive and offensive rather than defensive, imo. I think it's perfectly fine to ask what a name means, and it shows interest. Their response is just nasty.

I'd stay clear of this person going forward, especially if creating competition between the children at such a young age was their go-to response. If this is their mindset, and the children are this close in age, you could be in a lifetime of them silently or not so silently keeping score. It's actually a blessing that they are not the same gender.

Pretty nasty to say that their baby's name is better than your baby's name. Nasty to you, to your husband, and above all, just nasty to your innocent child.

As for your husband, if YOU had said a comment like this about THEIR baby's name, how would he and his family have reacted?

I would have replied with “a simple, I don’t know will suffice” and walk off.

He is obviously feeling some resentment at having to share this moment with you. Ignore and move on. You will all feel better once you’re not being awoken in the night by tiny humans.

It's unlikely they are tired of being asked. Because the baby was just born.
Honestly just sounds like an ill judged joke.

Forget it . She will just be hormonal and insecure at going through a hige life change. She mistook your comment for being snarky about the baby's name.
My dad always used to say never judge new parents.
Forget it and move on

Your question sounded arsey - asking the meaning/origin is a passive aggressive way of saying you don’t like it. If you liked the name you don’t ask questions like that, sounds like you’re thinking of things to say rather than just liking the name.

Nice try. Im English, and therefore I know its uncommon to say 'aww wow what does Gary mean?'

Sounds a bit snarky and I’d be pissed off too. Perhaps there is some lingering gender disappointment. Maybe people have been a bit off about the name and she’s feeling defensive. I think you have to cut her some slack since it’s normally a good relationship.

It’s a weird comment but maybe best to assume that everyone is under the influence of hormones and sleepless nights. One comment is just that. Don’t worry about it and just see what the future holds!

As someone who has a niece similar age to my child, and then another similar age to my next child, please nip any competition bullshit in the bud! Its bloody exhausting! Our family seem to have involuntarily entered into a competition we arent taking part in... I hate the comments and constant comparisons! I let it slide for too long and it really damaged our relationship. My DH had a word them after months and months of bullshit and it died down a little. Well.... the obvious competition and commentary died down but there's still a lot of low level shit happening. I hate it and dont have a relationship with the family because of it.

Realistically it doesn't happen often though does it. My daughters name is Welsh 'Eleri' and we get asked all the time what it means, where it's come from, why we chose it (my husband is welsh). It really does get a bit annoying and theres also a lot of oh what an unusual name, never heard that before etc etc.

My son is called Frankie (Franklin). Literally never had a person ask a single question about it or comment on it.

Why ask them what their baby’s name means? I assume most parents don’t actually give this much thought. Looking at the number of parents who choose names from other cultures. If they did consider the meaning then they often wouldn’t use the name!
Yes the reply was passive aggressive and a dickish comment but then they probably thought yours was too.
I wouldn’t be making any plans to go away with them. Wait and see how things pan out.

But why would they think that their baby is better than OP's baby? Yes, more important, more precious, more loved by them, of course; but why better?

Do you think that you are better than everybody else - just because you matter more to yourself?

Everyone thinks their baby is the best baby in the world.

See I’d really struggle to move on and be nice to someone who is that much of a rude dick to me. I’d struggle to put a face on it and feel comfortable again in their company

Its weird that you assume English names dont have meanings, they do.

It just sounds like a crazy conversation from both sides, and their answer doesn’t totally even make sense!! Everyone’s exhausted/ paranoid and irrational after having a baby, I know I read into things and it sounds like you all were a bit silly!!

BiteSizeByzantine

to be fair if you say to anyone you’re naming your child Charlie they’re not going to say ‘oh what does it mean?’

I can be civil to rude people I don't have to be nice

Yes! 😂

OP, it's a nasty comment to have made to you.

My advice would be to keep an eye on things. I have 2 kids close in age, with a cousin born between them both. My ILs rarely made a comparison between my older one and this cousin. Comparisons were always made between the cousin and younger child, and were always about how much 'better' the cousin was.

Comparisons did eventually pass, but it was because we kept calling them out, usually jokingly, just not letting them pass.

What I think is very likely to have happened is they've got pushback on their choice of middle names. They've probably explained their reasoning, and someone along the way has mentioned about Charlie's parents not having an issue with the tradition. 'Isn't Charlie's name a lovely name, why did you pick Tafari when so many lovely family names were available to you?'

It's still a nasty response from them. Like I said, I wouldn't let comments like this slide, but I think the root of this problem is not you, it's how other people are speaking about you to them.

It is quite common for meanings of names, I was asked a few times (didn’t always know unless Google told me). I think their comment is very odd, could be hormones on their part. They may end up being one of those competitive parents where their child does everything better. Just ignore and carry on.

Don't take their remark to heart. They were caught off guard with your question.
They probably thought you were implying it was unusual and not to your taste. Even if you didn't mean anything by it, give them some slack. I think their remark was just a tad defensive but nothing to get so anxious sbout. Do you overthink other things a lot?

Your babies will be growing up cousins so don't fall out or bear a grudge over such a little thing. You could get them a baby item with their baby's name on it as a peace offering.

Because many names have actual meanings and most people are not a walking encyclopedia. For example my OH's name means "my small son". He was the smaller (uneven placental share so 5lbs vs 8lbs) of a set of twins. Most people will not know that this very common name has this meaning.