AIBU to feel hurt by my partner's sibling's comment about our baby?

Realistically it doesn't happen often though does it. My daughters name is Welsh 'Eleri' and we get asked all the time what it means, where it's come from, why we chose it (my husband is welsh). It really does get a bit annoying and theres also a lot of oh what an unusual name, never heard that before etc etc.

My son is called Frankie (Franklin). Literally never had a person ask a single question about it or comment on it.

As someone who has a niece similar age to my child, and then another similar age to my next child, please nip any competition bullshit in the bud! Its bloody exhausting! Our family seem to have involuntarily entered into a competition we arent taking part in... I hate the comments and constant comparisons! I let it slide for too long and it really damaged our relationship. My DH had a word them after months and months of bullshit and it died down a little. Well.... the obvious competition and commentary died down but there's still a lot of low level shit happening. I hate it and dont have a relationship with the family because of it.

It’s a weird comment but maybe best to assume that everyone is under the influence of hormones and sleepless nights. One comment is just that. Don’t worry about it and just see what the future holds!

Sounds a bit snarky and I’d be pissed off too. Perhaps there is some lingering gender disappointment. Maybe people have been a bit off about the name and she’s feeling defensive. I think you have to cut her some slack since it’s normally a good relationship.

Nice try. Im English, and therefore I know its uncommon to say 'aww wow what does Gary mean?'

Your question sounded arsey - asking the meaning/origin is a passive aggressive way of saying you don’t like it. If you liked the name you don’t ask questions like that, sounds like you’re thinking of things to say rather than just liking the name.

Forget it . She will just be hormonal and insecure at going through a hige life change. She mistook your comment for being snarky about the baby's name.
My dad always used to say never judge new parents.
Forget it and move on

It's unlikely they are tired of being asked. Because the baby was just born.
Honestly just sounds like an ill judged joke.

I would have replied with “a simple, I don’t know will suffice” and walk off.

He is obviously feeling some resentment at having to share this moment with you. Ignore and move on. You will all feel better once you’re not being awoken in the night by tiny humans.

Your in-law's response wasn't just unwarranted but aggressive and offensive rather than defensive, imo. I think it's perfectly fine to ask what a name means, and it shows interest. Their response is just nasty.

I'd stay clear of this person going forward, especially if creating competition between the children at such a young age was their go-to response. If this is their mindset, and the children are this close in age, you could be in a lifetime of them silently or not so silently keeping score. It's actually a blessing that they are not the same gender.

Pretty nasty to say that their baby's name is better than your baby's name. Nasty to you, to your husband, and above all, just nasty to your innocent child.

As for your husband, if YOU had said a comment like this about THEIR baby's name, how would he and his family have reacted?

So true.

You asking what the name means probably came across as a dig, which he retaliated too saying it's better than the name you chose for your child. I'm pretty sure he would have meant the name and not the actual child.
Asking what a name means is an odd question, aren't most names given just because the parents likes the name? If someone asked me what my child's name meant I wouldn't have an answer for them.

Yeah that's really no excuse for being so rude! 🙄 it's only a joke if everyone is laughing.

OP unless your face was screwed up in distaste as you asked them, then I don't see why they'd be offended by your question.

They are probably in the depths of sleep deprivation ATM. But it was a still a very unpleasant comment and I would probably have replied something like "well that's a horrible thing to say."

So what has your partner said about all this given he was there and actually started asking about the name?

I think they probably thought you were expressing surprise or dislike to the name so when you asked they were meaning the name Jayden is better than the name Charlie for example. It is a bit of an odd question

I think what happened is that it probably came across as a bit offensive you asking. But that’s not a big deal. What is underlying is that she wishes for your gender of baby, and that’s the real reason for her sniping.

It was probably a jokey way of letting you know thats not an appropriate question. I do think "what's the meaning of that name" is actually quite offensive for some people, because lots of names don't have meanings or the meaning isn't relevant. A name like Charlie or Thomas you'd never say "what does that mean?" People choose names they like the sound of, and asking the meaning implies there must be another reason to choose it.

My friend has a baby and her partner is from another culture so the baby has a middle name from that culture, she is CONSTANTLY asked "where's it from/what's the meaning" she just likes it, picked it because it sounded nice, it doesn't have a proper meaning really (neither does the baby's first name, which is an english old fashioned name, but guess what - nobody asks about the meaning of that name). She finds it exhausting and has actually been quite taken aback as she's white British and has never experienced this subtle day-day type of being treated differently.
I wonder if your SiL/BiL is tired of being asked or found it offensive or annoying. Next time you should just say "that's nice" or "I've not heard that before, it's lovely". Some people pick names for meanings but lots don't and implying they should makes it sound like you don't think the name is nice by itself, or it must require some kind of background info. Even "does it have a meaning" is better than "what does it mean"

read Your comment about the family tradition about naming after grandparents. Is “Charlie” a grandparents name? If so I think she was carrying on your joke about their name is better than yours because it’s not one of the grandparents.. if not it was pretty mean.

It comes across on your post as if you're negatively questioning why they chose the name. So I can only imaging that in real life it probably sounded like you were judging them

Why would you ask what Emily or John means lol

Well it is a bit pretentious (I would think mildly passive aggressive!) to ask the meaning of a name. Not everyone has to have a deep and meaningful reason to use a name. Sometimes they just like the sound of it. If they want to share that information freely then fine, but I don’t think I would ever ask. Makes you sound like a bit of a smart ass. So I’m not surprised you got an irritated response.

Sounds like a badly judged joke to me, don’t overthink

Also just saying being asked what a name means because it’s not an English name gets really tired - do you know the meaning of all English names?

She thought you were mocking that original name and felt threatened, so she said something snarky. She's probably stressed and sleep deprived so she's overreacted. You're both hurt in this situation and miscommunicated completely, but it's also a bit of a teenager squabble.

I'd tell her that I really like the name, I just wanted to know if it has some special meaning. You've escalated this completely out of proportion thinking there will be years of rivalry now