AIBU to feel hurt by my partner's sibling's comment about our baby?

Thats horrible. They sound like a dickhead.

If it's an unusual name she's probably sick of being asked what it means. Not all names have to have meaning. Ive no idea what either of my kids names mean.

So everyone is tired...drop it.

You should have immediately said, are you seriously having a competition between babies? You and your husband should ask for an apology, or an explanation of this weirdness.
If they did think you were insulting the name, you can explain you really weren't, but their reaction is still weird.

No it isn’t. It’s a normal way to show interest in a name.

The way I read this it was unspeakably rude, whether it referred to the name or to your baby. Your partner sounds as if he was at fault for not calling her out.
I’d avoid this person in future, but if you have to see her again the best response to a comment like that is to look them in the eye and politely/calmly ask “What did you mean by that?” then equally politely say “I see” in response to whatever they say and walk off.

Pardon us for showing interest!

His brother also asked why we chose “Charlie” when he came to meet our baby so it wasn’t seen as a big deal or unusual conversation.

It's not terribly deep but it does sound a bit like he can dish it out but not take it. You'd said it was a nice name, your DH had asked where it was from. Assuming you asked the question in an interested way (which I'm sure you did) it seems a logical place for the conversation to go to me. And even if he for some unknown reason felt you were being too intrusive he only had to reply non-commitally. There was no need to leap to the 'better than yours' comment.

I'd talk to DH and get his take on it before you make any decisions. What you don't want is your child being constantly put down to make themselves feel better about you getting the sex they wanted and they didn't.

They sound a bit dickish but I’d just let it slide this time around, not something worth being upset about.

Could be that it’s not a very nice name and they’ve had comments before so are a bit on the defensive.

Remember the saying "you can't choose your family ".
Two of my now grown up kids had some cousins same age, when they were small all was well, growing up not really interested in each other, very different parenting and financial backgrounds. My kids were more academic and down to earth, cousins latest expensive brands and tech very image conscious and brought up in a city.
All kids lovely but different interests and personalities.
The competition is only that if you let it. Ignore any unpleasant comments and focus on your new family. 💛

This is the kind of thing one of my brother in laws would say…. Unfortunately it’s his attempt at humour when actually he just comes across as a dick. Just either completely ignore it or act like ur confused n hopefully having to explain why it’s funny will let him know he’s not funny

To be honest, your question is odd, I have never heard anyone ask what the baby’s name meant (as one of the first questions anyway), she probably thought that you were digging towards the uniqueness maybe? Her response is out of order of course, but you questioned your hormones in your initial post, but shes also very fresh on the PP train.

Not sure what the gender disappoint has to do with this? But I doubt that they wouldn’t change their baby for the world now.

honestly, you sound like you have a great relationship, maybe let it go. Or check in with her and raise it just the two of you. She could very well apologise.

Because many names have actual meanings and most people are not a walking encyclopedia. For example my OH's name means "my small son". He was the smaller (uneven placental share so 5lbs vs 8lbs) of a set of twins. Most people will not know that this very common name has this meaning.

Don't take their remark to heart. They were caught off guard with your question.
They probably thought you were implying it was unusual and not to your taste. Even if you didn't mean anything by it, give them some slack. I think their remark was just a tad defensive but nothing to get so anxious sbout. Do you overthink other things a lot?

Your babies will be growing up cousins so don't fall out or bear a grudge over such a little thing. You could get them a baby item with their baby's name on it as a peace offering.

It is quite common for meanings of names, I was asked a few times (didn’t always know unless Google told me). I think their comment is very odd, could be hormones on their part. They may end up being one of those competitive parents where their child does everything better. Just ignore and carry on.

OP, it's a nasty comment to have made to you.

My advice would be to keep an eye on things. I have 2 kids close in age, with a cousin born between them both. My ILs rarely made a comparison between my older one and this cousin. Comparisons were always made between the cousin and younger child, and were always about how much 'better' the cousin was.

Comparisons did eventually pass, but it was because we kept calling them out, usually jokingly, just not letting them pass.

What I think is very likely to have happened is they've got pushback on their choice of middle names. They've probably explained their reasoning, and someone along the way has mentioned about Charlie's parents not having an issue with the tradition. 'Isn't Charlie's name a lovely name, why did you pick Tafari when so many lovely family names were available to you?'

It's still a nasty response from them. Like I said, I wouldn't let comments like this slide, but I think the root of this problem is not you, it's how other people are speaking about you to them.

Yes! 😂

I can be civil to rude people I don't have to be nice

BiteSizeByzantine

to be fair if you say to anyone you’re naming your child Charlie they’re not going to say ‘oh what does it mean?’

It just sounds like a crazy conversation from both sides, and their answer doesn’t totally even make sense!! Everyone’s exhausted/ paranoid and irrational after having a baby, I know I read into things and it sounds like you all were a bit silly!!

Its weird that you assume English names dont have meanings, they do.

See I’d really struggle to move on and be nice to someone who is that much of a rude dick to me. I’d struggle to put a face on it and feel comfortable again in their company

Everyone thinks their baby is the best baby in the world.

But why would they think that their baby is better than OP's baby? Yes, more important, more precious, more loved by them, of course; but why better?

Do you think that you are better than everybody else - just because you matter more to yourself?

Why ask them what their baby’s name means? I assume most parents don’t actually give this much thought. Looking at the number of parents who choose names from other cultures. If they did consider the meaning then they often wouldn’t use the name!
Yes the reply was passive aggressive and a dickish comment but then they probably thought yours was too.
I wouldn’t be making any plans to go away with them. Wait and see how things pan out.