To be so upset by DH comments?

If youve been on tablets for 3 years do you think they are working? I e a friend who has been on tgem for 30 years, killed her libido and she's knackered all the time. They dont seem to stop the anxiety though. Big pharma is the only body that seems to be doing well from them.

Your DH gets plenty of him time to keep fit. He doesn’t contribute much if anything, to running the home and caring for the DC. All of that falls on you. It’s not surprising you feel overwhelmed and unable to find your own me time to keep fit and do nice things for yourself.

In short he’s a cheeky fucker who is swanning along having an easy life. How dare he criticise you?

Tell him he needs to take on household tasks and childcare, so you can spend an equal amount of time on yourselves.

These type of questions are no win.

Do you find me attractive?

You'll never get what you want from it, it was always bound to fail. So he turns round and says Yes im absolutely blown away by your beauty, then you ask another, so why? so why?

A confident person doesnt ask if she is beautiful, one happy in herself isnt asking do you still find me attractive? so you have to look inward, and that cant be solved by anyone's gaze or opinions. You have to make the decision to make changes if youre unhappy, but you do it for you, not so that he likes you.

Make the decision to make the changes, make the plan and if it means youre out of the house (at classes or gym), then make it work. But do it for you.

Attractive and slim are NOT the same things. My husband is attracted to my personality- the person I am- the things we talk about, my humour, my laugh, the way I am with children and animals, my caring and compassionate nature. Yes he likes my boobs and my bum but whether i am a healthy BMI (which is better for my health I accept) or carrying a few extra pounds or even a stone or two at times (after kids etc) he still fancies me and finds me attractive as I am me and my weight is not my worth.

So when your husband says he doesn’t think you care about being attractive any more that is harsh but perhaps he is actually picking up on you not giving self care to yourself any more. Nothing about sex or his attraction to you- but your care for yourself. You have had depression, you are an overwhelmed mum… you need and deserve some me time - NOT to exercise or go to the gym or diet or whatever but to do something that makes you FEEL good. About yourself. A bath and a book. A coffee alone with a book. A massage or manicure. Take some time to reconnect with who you are now and what you like. And speak to your husband to see how he can support you to have me time and get your mojo back. Forget your weight- it’s a red herring and something else to just punish yourself with or feel bad about. If you concentrate on doing something for yourself for a period each week and build on that o am betting you may find your “attractiveness” returns. I hope so anyway as I’m hoping your husband isn’t just a shallow twat.

I’d make a plan. Ok, I’ve thought about it and to make a change you need to be here Monday and Thursday evenings, and Saturday morning. I’m going swimming, to yoga, and out walking with my friend to the coffee shop. (Make sure it’s things you like, punishment isn’t motivating)

I’d probably tell him to fuck off first though. He should make you feel loved and supported, not criticised and self conscious.

One dress size is 2 inches, it’s very odd this could be an issue op?

It sounds like your husband needs to take more off your plate. Maybe then you would have the headspace to be able to focus on that aspect of your relationship.

One dress size is hardly noticeable? and you’ve had three kids. And as you say yourself you have no “me time”
be kind to yourself. Perhaps start carving out some me time.
if your husband gets child-free gym and exercise hours every week do you get the same ?! Easy for him to stay in shape if he’s always child-free at the gym and hasn’t used his body to grow three humans.

One dress size seems neither here nor there and I’m reading a lot of harsh talk in your post “strict on myself” “being attractive doesn’t matter to you any more”.

When does your DH expect you to find time to exercise and feel good about yourself?

Perhaps he could have been more diplomatic but what did you expect asking these questions? I suspect this is more about your self confidence than your actual weight.