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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Can you recover from surgery alone?

71 replies

elfindeverano · 28/08/2026 20:36

I’m a single person and I live alone. I want to have surgery (breast) at some point next year but I’m worried about the recovery at home by myself.

You’re released on the day of surgery, but then you need to rest and recover at home.

I’ve watched many Vlogs on the surgery and you can’t lift anything above about 500g (1 pint of milk roughly) for about a week, and have limited arm movement…. As a result some women say they couldn’t even properly wipe themselves behind after the toilet (sorry, I know that’s gross, and I hate the idea of that happening), and had to ask their partner to help!

Has anyone recovered from a surgery at home by themselves? Or did you need your stay an extra few nights in hospital?

YABU - no you can’t recover alone
YANBU - it’s completely possible to recover alone

OP posts:
DottyDot3377 · 29/08/2026 09:42

Yes, I've managed at home after surgeries. I have even had children to look after at times. Just make sure that you tidy as much as you possibly can beforehand and have the fridge, freezer and cupboards stocked with easy types of meals and snacks. Washing down as much as possible. Think about some aids that could possibly help you such as grabbers, for example. Amazon have various grabbers as well as other mobility aids. A shower chair is also an option - not very expensive. As long as you are prepared, it will be much easier. Not everyone has someone able to help them or the money to pay for someone to come in and help them so we just have to make our own way through it. After having a general, they do say you have to have someone actually coming onto the ward to collect you. If not, then they try and say wouod have to stay the night. I cannot see that actually being enforced, however, as someone cannot be made to stay. It would be easier if you could have someone come and collect you as no doubt you will feel a bit woozy - potentially - after a general and due to pain relief. Oh, try and make sure you are discharged with pain relief as you will likely need it!

elfindeverano · 29/08/2026 09:38

Mooseylooseyloo · 29/08/2026 09:33

Ive had a lot of surgery, ive had 2 BA and i have 2 kids and come home and had to look after them as normal. Just be careful lifting your arms above your head. Make sure before your Op that you have stuff that is high up in cupboards you might need down on lower levels. Only orher issues is picking up small children not sure if you have them but that would be a no. Other than that its easy.

Thank you. I don’t have children so it’ll just be myself I need to look after…

OP posts:
MelonSorbet · 29/08/2026 09:33

I live alone and having to do this is one of my big worries. There's not a chance in hell I would put myself through it for elective surgery.

Mooseylooseyloo · 29/08/2026 09:33

Ive had a lot of surgery, ive had 2 BA and i have 2 kids and come home and had to look after them as normal. Just be careful lifting your arms above your head. Make sure before your Op that you have stuff that is high up in cupboards you might need down on lower levels. Only orher issues is picking up small children not sure if you have them but that would be a no. Other than that its easy.

Thehop · 29/08/2026 09:28

Go to a really good hospital in Turkey.

I was in a lovely hotel for 10 days afterwards with 4 doctor/nurser visits a day. They washed me, dressed me, dressed my wounds. Even got someone in to wash and blow dry my hair and the hotel brought my meals to my room.

ChihuahuaChica · 29/08/2026 09:25

I was on my own with twin 4 year olds after a total abdominal hysterectomy, so you'll be fine.

binding13 · 28/08/2026 21:48

I’ve done 2 by myself
one for cauda equina and one huge endo op (7 incisions and a full day in theatre)

change bedding, clean, hoover etc before going in. Have easy food to grab and entertainment on hand

AFPotts · 28/08/2026 21:35

I did exactly what you're thinking of doing OP.

It was a GA and I got a taxi home alone the next day after telling them a friend was going to be there. They didn't ask for proof. I did have a friend for a few hours but there was nothing she needed to do.

I didn't find it a problem not being able to lift my arms high, I just stayed at home in button up tops for a few days and didn't wash my hair. I didn't lift anything very heavy.

Also recovered from a facelift alone, and a keyhole appendectomy, and was able to look after my dc alone after thoes operations after a couple of days. I planned carefully though.

Good luck!

Purplevioletblu · 28/08/2026 21:34

Yes you will be fine, lots of women have cosmetic surgery and recover on their own afterwards.

I went abroad with my friend after she had a breast argmenration and she had to leave the clinic after a few hours and we went straight home, it was a little difficult for her but she managed.

I would just be prepared, have lots of bottles of water in easy reach, easy meals, easy clothes to change into and pain medication on hand which I'm sure your clinic will advise on. Join a cosmetic surgery Facebook group, the women on there give lots of practical advice, I'm on one and there're loads of tips. Good luck.

Catza · 28/08/2026 21:33

I had maxfac surgery a few years ago and was absolutely fine recovering by myself. There were some hairy moments in the first three days but I just made sure I had necessities by my bedside - meds, shakes etc.
The hospital won't let you go home by yourself, though so you will need to ask a friend to collect you. They generally are quite strict on people not wandering off after general anesthetic.

IHateAlzheimers · 28/08/2026 21:31

I had a hysterectomy earlier this year and had no help afterwards apart from a lift back from hospital. If you are VERY organised it is doable. I batch cooked well in advance and stored my fridge/freezer/cupboards with easy to heat tasty foods and snacks. LOADS of them! Also booked a Tesco delivery weekly as far ahead as I could because they are hard to come by here. I do live in an accessible bungalow which probably helped a lot too.

I think if you are quite independent it's better in a way, I HATE being fussed over and told what to do. I'm also boringly sensible!

OverpricedCupcake · 28/08/2026 21:27

I broke my shoulder last year and managed alone.

MildlyAnnoyed · 28/08/2026 21:25

Yes you can. I had combined cosmetic surgeries in Turkey last year. I was in Turkey by myself for 8 days post op & then at home for a week. It was fine.

elfindeverano · 28/08/2026 21:06

DilemmaDelilah · 28/08/2026 20:54

Would you be having any other treatment at or around the same time? And it is because of illness or for another reason? And one boob or two?

if you're not ill then you should be able to manage I think, by getting help for the things you can't manage, especially if it is just one side. I wouldn't try to do it without any help at all. I think you would have to have somebody there for the first night, in case of complications following anaesthesia. Make sure you clean and tidy thoroughly beforehand, get on top of the laundry, change your bed, and get in some really really easy meals, or be prepared to get takeaways delivered.

Thank you. I’m not ill - my surgery is an elective breast augmentation - but I might feel ill afterwards.

My biggest worry is the limited movement in the arms. I can buy in ready meals and small bottles of water (so I don’t have to lift much), and have button up clothing.

OP posts:
JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 28/08/2026 20:58

I had kidney surgery and was living apart from now-DH at the time.

It was hard but doable.

First, buy in more stuff than you think you will need. You will not want to have to trek to shoos.

Batch cook and freeze small portions. You will need nutritious food but may lose appetite.

Buy in more painkillers than you think you need. Also possibly some surgical dressing bits.

Let a neighbour know and ask if you can call on them for emergencies. I don't want to sound scary but I had a post op complication and needed someone to bring me back in.

It is doable though. Good luck!

katseyes7 · 28/08/2026 20:57

I had a full hip replacement and went home on my own. I live alone.
I had good friends who took me to/from the hospital and for physio, but otherwise l was on my own.
If you have to, you manage. It's not ideal, but you do.

DilemmaDelilah · 28/08/2026 20:54

Would you be having any other treatment at or around the same time? And it is because of illness or for another reason? And one boob or two?

if you're not ill then you should be able to manage I think, by getting help for the things you can't manage, especially if it is just one side. I wouldn't try to do it without any help at all. I think you would have to have somebody there for the first night, in case of complications following anaesthesia. Make sure you clean and tidy thoroughly beforehand, get on top of the laundry, change your bed, and get in some really really easy meals, or be prepared to get takeaways delivered.

LIZS · 28/08/2026 20:53

If you have a ga the hospital will expect you to have someone with you for a day or so, assuming you are discharged quickly. You may need to make contingencies for cooking and accessing food, plates, pans etc if you cannot stretch or lift. likewise plan dressing and type of clothes for easy on/off with minimal effort. A friend booked a private carer to come in to help with washing, dressing etc and slept downstairs. If you will not be able to drive have a list of friend’s numbers and taxis to get you to appointments.

BlumeUndTisch · 28/08/2026 20:42

Yes. You can. Just plan well.

Octavia64 · 28/08/2026 20:41

Extra few nights in hospital is very expensive if we are taking private and if it’s normally day surgery there may not be the option.

you can book carers for post hospital stays.

I’ve had surgery but not that sort.

PineappleCandy · 28/08/2026 20:38

I think it would be extremely difficult but there are things you could do to make it easier like fitting a bidet, stocking up on healthy ready meals or other easy food, and looking into hiring a nurse or helper for the first week or so.

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