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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you be annoyed by this or am I being unreasonable?

465 replies

Nmiddleofnowhere · 28/08/2026 18:45

DH has bought something for the house without mentioning it to me and I am honestly a bit annoyed.

It was about £40 so its not like he's gone mad or anything but its something we absolutely did not need and I would have rather the money went towards other things tbh.

I only found out because the parcel turned up and when I asked what it was he said he'd ordered it a couple of days ago. I said I wish he'd mentioned it first and he said why, its hardly a big purchase and he doesn't ask me before buying things for himself.

I do see that point but I don't really think its the same when its something for the house? Especially when we've got other things coming up that we need to pay for.

I am not saying he needs to ask permission every time he spends money btw. If he wants to buy himself something with his own money then obviously thats different. But if its coming out of our joint account for something that is basically unnecessary then surely its reasonable to discuss it first?

He thinks I'm being controlling and making an issue out of nothing.

AIBU?

OP posts:
mtobrokeme · 29/08/2026 15:37

My husband bought exactly the same thing, without telling me about this time last year. If he had said ‘I’m thinking about buying a heated airer’ I would have probably asked him to stop boring me and told him to buy what he wanted. I really don’t think anything except fridges/washers etc need any discussion.

Evaka · 29/08/2026 15:35

You can't be serious OP!

gamerchick · 29/08/2026 15:32

Sahara123 · 29/08/2026 13:10

My husband sheepishly admitted he’d bought a robot lawnmower the other day 😳. I have to admit it’s bloody marvellous!

Ah I would love one of those but the cat does random offerings. Give it time.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 29/08/2026 15:32

My dh just eye rolls and let's me crack on.I do the same.

gamerchick · 29/08/2026 15:30

It's never occurred to me to ask permission to get something for the house. My husband just rolls his eyes at yet another box disguised as furniture. Love a bit of storage me

Bananacrepewithnuts · 29/08/2026 15:27

Have you seen the other thread today where the husband gifted £30k to his parents to buy a new car (didn't even mention it to the wife).

Our OP would have fallen off her chair and fainted!

beaglescurleduplikebagels · 29/08/2026 14:54

Disturbia81 · 29/08/2026 13:25

£40 is a lot to be wasted, for most people.

How is it a waste, exactly?

GoodkneeBadKnee · 29/08/2026 14:52

Disturbia81 · 29/08/2026 13:25

£40 is a lot to be wasted, for most people.

Some people. Probably not most.

Askandyforcompo · 29/08/2026 13:28

Disturbia81 · 29/08/2026 13:25

£40 is a lot to be wasted, for most people.

It's not a waste though? It reduces the use of the tumble dryer. She also says they can easily afford it

Disturbia81 · 29/08/2026 13:25

beaglescurleduplikebagels · 28/08/2026 19:01

Do you have nothing more important going on in your life?

Jesus Wept.

£40 is a lot to be wasted, for most people.

Imdunfer · 29/08/2026 13:23

Can I suggest all the people mocking my post check their facts?

It's not unusual in tenancy agreements to prohibit the user of radiators and free standing heated rails to dry clothes, because it causes damp and mould in the property.

Sahara123 · 29/08/2026 13:10

My husband sheepishly admitted he’d bought a robot lawnmower the other day 😳. I have to admit it’s bloody marvellous!

Sahara123 · 29/08/2026 13:06

kombuchabucha · 28/08/2026 22:41

Unpopular opinion perhaps but with the context I think he should have spoken to you first! I say this because after our washer/dryer packed up I've been weighing up the options for us: new dryer (we got a second hand washer for free) new washer/dryer, heated drying rack, dehumidifier next to normal drying rack. This is worth a discussion! There's also a running cost associated with the heated dryer and electricity prices are going up again!

From my recent research I believe buying a dehumidifier to put next to your normal drying rack would have been a better purchase - they supposedly dry clothes faster and they take the moisture out of the air to prevent damp problems in the room.

We have a dehumidifier and it’s actually fantastic! You should see the amount of water it takes out of the air. I shut it in a smallish room overnight and the washing is dry by morning. Brilliant. My daughter had a heated aider and it was useless, only dried the bits of clothing that were in direct contact.

Wingingit73 · 29/08/2026 12:55

These airers are great. Remember to cover it. Yabu.

Potatoespotaarrrrtos · 29/08/2026 12:20

Think @Nmiddleofnowhere has just met their new best friend in @Imdunfer

Justawalk · 29/08/2026 10:04

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

shhhh2025 · 29/08/2026 09:59

It must be utterly joyless married to you

beaglescurleduplikebagels · 29/08/2026 09:37

Imdunfer · 29/08/2026 08:26

Ask him how much he thinks redecorating the damp and mould is going to cost, or how much more it's going to cost to heat the house if you leave the window open to let the water vapour out.

I would be annoyed at him not talking to me about it, it has more implications than he's thought through.

If you rent it may even breach your tenancy agreement.

Edited

Bloody hell 😂

Justawalk · 29/08/2026 09:29

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Justawalk · 29/08/2026 09:29

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GoodkneeBadKnee · 29/08/2026 09:25

Imdunfer · 29/08/2026 08:26

Ask him how much he thinks redecorating the damp and mould is going to cost, or how much more it's going to cost to heat the house if you leave the window open to let the water vapour out.

I would be annoyed at him not talking to me about it, it has more implications than he's thought through.

If you rent it may even breach your tenancy agreement.

Edited

Goodness me!

Imdunfer · 29/08/2026 08:26

Nmiddleofnowhere · 28/08/2026 18:57

It was one of those big heated clothes airers 😅

We already have a normal airer and a tumble dryer so I just don't see why we needed another one tbh. He said it'll save on drying costs and that we'll use it loads over winter but I think he just saw it online and fancied it.

Its not even the thing itself really, its more that he just ordered it without mentioning it.

Ask him how much he thinks redecorating the damp and mould is going to cost, or how much more it's going to cost to heat the house if you leave the window open to let the water vapour out.

I would be annoyed at him not talking to me about it, it has more implications than he's thought through.

If you rent it may even breach your tenancy agreement.

2021mumma · 29/08/2026 08:17

He’s used his initiative. It must be a drain being married to you.

Thatcannotberight · 29/08/2026 08:11

If it's one where the bars get hot, he's welcome to use it. DH bought one, I tried it once and never used it again. It only dries the bits that touch the bars and you're forever moving the clothes around, even with the cover on.

I think it's hiding in the loft somewhere.

Daisymail · 29/08/2026 08:01

Cocopogo · 28/08/2026 19:04

He’s right, you are controlling. Who gets worked up over £40?

Exactly.