Would you be annoyed by this or am I being unreasonable?

You say politeness, I say joyless. And cold, and weirdly formal. It's £40.

This is honestly the most bonkers post I have seen. He can but things for the house without consulting you of course he can. You are literally insane If you think this is a problem. I wouldn't ever think about consulting my husband. Before buying anything???

We never say no unless it's total unjustifiable crap. I don't run purchases "past" my husband, I let him know what we need because it's manners if I'm spending our money. If I'm spending my own money then I buy what I want and likewise for him.

It's worked for 40 years.

My flat is tiny. It a kid the space taken up that’s the problem … it’s the strangulation of two people ..by two people …. it’s horrible

We have a different idea about what is useful whilst we have similar ideas about where to look. There are times where we go "whatever, that looks good" other times one of would say "I've been looking and I've seen something suitable here, what do you think"

My partner also gets a lot discounts through work so I also generally ask what discount he gets at various stores to work out what is the best deal.

We just try to make sure that we make purchases consciously. We live quite frugally and try to get things second hand where we can, we were on low incomes when we got our first house (household income of £25k in 2012) and we furnished most of it using thrifting sites. It's also not something we do very frequently, we both hate shopping. I think this year the only purchases that would count are a cupboard for my daughters bedroom (£40) and a broom for the kitchen (£22) in the end although we started by looking at options in the £30-40.

I couldn’t live like this. That’s horrendous to even have that as the shit your lives have been reduced to.

I'd be delighted if my husband bought a heated airer!

So it’s a controll thing? He’s not free to buy stuff in the way you are? Do you run every item for the home by him? Like everything??

Why is it common courtesy to run any purchases though your husband. What happens if he says no, do you just not buy the item? That sounds very much like asking permission?

It's joint money and you should both be trusting enough to spend small amounts of it without needing to discuss each purchase surely?

It's called courtesy. It's not asking permission, it's just common politeness.

I'd be annoyed by that. I can think of many better ways to use £40.

I dont think anyone is in that situation where you cant afford to dry your clothes! Its the UK ffs! Massive free for all

You realise that other people have different lives?

Do you?

Not so miserable as when you live in a house without a huge amount of space so you'll fall over the thing constantly. And, as you're doing it, think about the things the money would be better spent on.

If your house is big enough that you don't notice the the addition of a big heated airer and your budget doesn't notice £40, then great for you. You realise that other people have different lives?

So he bought something that helps with one of the household jobs that he takes part responsibility for and he still has to consult you? Added to which it’s only £40? The only situation in which that would be an issue in our house would be if we were severely strapped for cash and it was a choice between a heated airer and food or electricity. It’s really not a problem and he ought to have the autonomy in your household to be able to do things like that.

Gosh if I had to run all my little household purchases from the joint account past DH each time I’d go nuts! Mind you he has nicknamed me ‘Head of Procurement’ 😂

Thought about it a cuppla months ago and this post has reminded me. Just off to Amazon for a look.

You are being unreasonable

Unpopular opinion perhaps but with the context I think he should have spoken to you first! I say this because after our washer/dryer packed up I've been weighing up the options for us: new dryer (we got a second hand washer for free) new washer/dryer, heated drying rack, dehumidifier next to normal drying rack. This is worth a discussion! There's also a running cost associated with the heated dryer and electricity prices are going up again!

From my recent research I believe buying a dehumidifier to put next to your normal drying rack would have been a better purchase - they supposedly dry clothes faster and they take the moisture out of the air to prevent damp problems in the room.

A man interested in making the laundry situation easier. You should definitely ditch the bastard straight away

You're his wife not his child, why would you need to ask permission to use money you presumably contributed to the account in the first place? What's the point in a joint account if you have to run every purchase through each other?

Unless you are really struggling for money, I’d say yes, YABU. You can give the ordinary airer away, maybe get a few £££ for it if it’s worth anything. The heated airer might save you the expense of running the tumble dryer every time you do a wash.

I have read all your updates and I do think you are being unreasonable, my husband and I would each make purchases like this without consulting the other. Let it go and enjoy the speed of drying!

Your poor husband

Ugh.

Heated airer are brilliant if you have a utility room to set it up. Just pop everything in the dryer for the last 10 mins. Saves money..he made a good purchase and probably thought you would be pleased