Would you be annoyed by this or am I being unreasonable?

An electric clothes dryer wouldn't bother me. A big ugly clock for the living area would. Maybe something big for the kitchen like a foodproccessor I would like to buy jointly if we both cooked, but wouldn't get upset if oh bought a pasta machine. It's all relative I think.
Also depends on how much £40 is to your budget. If your saving hard to get out of debt or for a special holiday that would be annoying but if your OK financially no big deal.

With work and the kids, I only have so much time to talk to my partner. The idea of wasting our precious conversation time on this sounds like torture.

Of course you should have a discussion on purchases that will have a major impact. But if my partner preferred to talk to me about which specific brand of bread to buy rather than anything of consequence I'd find that a profound discourtesy.

You are being unreasonable. I would hate it if my husband policed my spending in this way. Do you have an amount over which you tell each other about spending? We do - it's $1000. Below that, no questions asked.
He isn't a child spending his pocket money.

I do get your annoyance (I hate clutter) but…… heated airers are good. I think you’ll love it once you use it. And that does sound a bargain!

I’d be pretty mad if my husband was auditing purchases like this!!! Dear me. It wasn’t £4K.

YABU.
I would be irritated if my other half bought something for the house I didn't want but then I'd have a word with myself and ask myself do I really want him questioning/resenting every time I buy something.

We don't have time to have a debate over every little thing - the bargain may be gone by the time we've talked. It's not like it was a washing machine. Besides, next time he might come home with exactly what you always wanted and that can never happen if he's too scared to make decisions.

That's a good point.
A good one though is well worth the money. I can't remember how much ours cost but it was from lakelandn

I would get worked up about £40 on a heated airer the same way £8 spent on a phone charger, potential fire risks!

He’s missed a trick!! I got this and I hope the link works - amazing. I paid £25 in b&m
https://share.google/DVNN98aV7wpAcGCVQ

I couldn't live with people bringing home "useful" things that fill the cupboards never to be used.... It's why I left my parents house! We also watched our parents do 3 sets of house clearances in 9 months following deaths and movement into care homes. The amount of household tat to be sorted was unreal. We really do not need as much stuff as shops tell you need.

Our home and our money are shared and we would rather keep it a happy place without an endless stream of gadgets coming through the door, to be used for a few weeks and then never again.

Hmm

does he have form for getting multiple versions of the same thing because it’s the latest (thinking of someone I know, who has two steamers, three vacuum cleaners and a shed full of outmoded mops)

Blimey. You need to lighten up.
You'll be glad he took the initiative when you can't put your washing out later in the year.
X

Yes! It doesn't have to be transactional, it's just part of every day conversation. No purchase has to be made that instance and pretty much every guide to help reign in spending has a wait before purchasing advice.

We don't do the shopping together but whilst I'm making a list of doing an online shop I ask if there are any requests and say I was thinking of getting pork for tomorrow and a chicken for in the week. If I'm doing an online shop just before the edit deadline I'll give a brief highlight - they have the ice-lollies you like on offer so I've put a box of them in and I fancy a roast on Sunday so I've put a joint in and a load of root veg. He phoned the other day on his way home from work and said he was stopping to get petrol. He wasn't asking permission to get petrol, just a courtesy. I asked that could he get a loaf of bread as I hadn't had chance to put the bread maker on. He did and it saved me a trip to the shop.

I couldn't live without my heated dryer - he's made a brilliant purchase!

Unless you are broke then I can’t see what he’s done wrong. I’d never ask permission spend £40 and neither would my DH.

I thought you were being unreasonable. He can spend £40 on something for the house (unless it’s absolute gaudy tat). Then I read it’s a heated airer and I think you are being very unreasonable. He obviously thought it would help and save money on using the tumble dryer. I think he’s been pretty thoughtful especially coupled with him doing half of the laundry.

Those are good reasons for preferring to chose and purchase together, but not for being annoyed if one of you decides to buy something without consultation.

If I purchase things for the house, I would not dream of checking in with my partner to see if it was okay. A sofa, a dining table or a bed, yes that's a joint decision.

I just can't imagine wandering round shops seeing something that takes my fancy for the house but calling my partner to see if it's okay.

I love to see the joy in his face when I come home with something I think is fantastic and useful but he deems it lets say not very worthy 😆

I mean, you're definitely being unreasonable. But I suppose if you want to ask that from now on, no-one makes any purchases from the joint account without asking the other person - well you can do that if you love wasting your time.

But come on, if that wasn't already agreed, this is incredibly reasonable.

It's a small thing, and a small amount of money. Just let it go, OP, because life is too short to stress about trivia.

That is exactly what it is and how it happens and sometimes it's "we need a new kettle (£20)" and sometimes it's "do you think we should have the roof replaced (£25,000)?". The amount of money is irrelevant to the conversation but it is a conversation that we have. And for anyone asking, no we don't do the supermarket shop together, I have it delivered.

On the scale of the worse things a partner could do........ literally doesn't even register.

If you don't say no why do you need to ask him about buying something before you buy it? Why not just let him know once the purchases have been made? It all feels very transactional.

Do you have to do the supermarket shop together?

I completely agree, it hardly takes long too say or message "hey I'm looking at ordering a heated airer, our non-heated one isn't great, they are cheaper to run than the tumble drier, X has one on offer and it can be delivered on Friday"