Cafes are no longer pleasant experiences

A seperate category called “elderly” using phones inconsiderately?

I don't think that's what keyboard warrior means

A cafe near my house fixed this the wifi has a password and you have to buy something to get it 😊

Neither do I.

Well of course it's expensive. The price of everything has gone up. But all the other stuff you list is just you being intolerant. So you want no children, no old people, no one working and no-one using a phone.
My advice would to be staying at home and have a coffee.

Oh my days I stopped for a coffee whilst I had half an hour to spare yesterday and it was one of those most overstimulating experiences I’ve had since legoland. Clanking of cups and spoons, background music, people laughing, dogs barking and for this privilege i paid nine pounds for a tiny cake and cappuccino

They take all the best tables and sit there all day. Some cafes you can only get a middle 2 person table in front of the door.

We have an abundance of amazing cafes in our area in the SE .I cannot relate to the complaints that you have listed !

No fun any more.

I used to love Sainsbury's cafe about 25 years ago.

I would get my latte and have a cigarette in the smoker's section after shopping.

I really looked forward to that peaceful half-hour before going home.

Can't do that nowadays 😡

Places aren't cleaned properly these days. Tables are always sticky, bathrooms are minging, general muckiness all round. I'm definitely not a clean freak but its rare to find yourself in a cafe that has a comfortable level of cleanliness. Obviously the proliferation of dogs and children in these places is part of the issue but I also imagine staffing costs are a factor. I'd much rather get my drink to take away and sit on a park bench.

Are you Hyacinth Bucket?

(Peering at the rim of a coffee cup) “You frequently find traces of lipstick in places like this.”

Garden centre cafes are the best imo. People chatting no on phones! No keyboard warriors and kids under control if they're even with the adults. And best still they tend to support small businesses.

There should be a chain of quiet cafes with no children, no dogs, no laptops, no loud conversations, just peaceful quiet, with friendly staff, clean tables and spotless toilets. Is this too much to ask for?

YANBU but I also find that restaurants are just as bad. We went to a pretty expensive restaurant in a lovely 4 star hotel recently. We had to ask to move tables because someone in a group at the next table, was playing a video on his phone at full volume. I think behaviour has deteriorated since lock down.

I hate going to a particular local cafe which is full of people working. If it’s my day off I don’t want to be around other people working. I just go elsewhere now. It’s not the noise of the keyboards it’s just that the whole dynamic isn’t relaxing.

Awful on holiday last year where an obnoxious woman used to have v loud virtual meetings by the pool. I’m on holiday and don’t bat to attend your meeting! If you need a meeting go to your room!

For me Cafes stopped being a pleasant experience when they started being commandeered as pop up toddler and baby groups.

Moan moan moan. Honestly, just stay home if being out in public stresses you so much!

I am so sick of dogs everywhere food related, and I am a dog person..

we were in a farm shop / cafe this week with the majority of produce in open baskets and there were at least 3 dogs in there wandering around with owners who can’t read the no dogs signs..

When did we start taking dogs everywhere? I also have a child who is really scared of dogs, and is constantly told ‘ oh they are friendly dont worry’ when he is clearly terrified.

But it wasnt talking loudly on a phone or bashing keys on a keyboard? I know people dont like dogs but they are usually quiet and inoffensive when in cafes.

I go to a greasy spoon these days wherever I can because I like my tea in a mug (not a vintage tea cup or a thimble or a milk bottle with a straw or whatever. I like the price and I LOVE the clientele who are generally more entertaining, tradesmen and pensioners and very few laptops.

True, but the tech just adds a layer of horror that was never there before, who really wants to sit typing in a cafe full of toddlers and people braying into their phones? There is a performative aspect to it all that is just odd.

You’re right, it’s a totally different atmosphere in the majority of places nowadays. I hadn’t thought about it before, but pre-tech a cafe would have people either chatting, reading, or just sitting with their own thoughts. While all those categories may still be going on, the phones and laptops are a different activity altogether and make a qualitative difference to how it feels to be there.

I bet you would be the first to complain if someone dropped a hot cup of coffee on your toddler because they were running around! Of course it's not normal for toddlers to run around and scream in cafes, it isn't a playground.

We went to a cinema recently and the bloke behind us his booted foot on the armrest in between us, so that neither of us could use it. He got a few choice words 😂