Cafes are no longer pleasant experiences

I love cafes. Preferably with seating areas outside, but I dont mind sitting in if it's cold. Some Costa/Nero cafes are really cosy, as are plenty of smaller independant cafes.
Some garden centres have nice little cafes with great cakes, and good service. too.
I do agree about price rises though; they are getting ridiculous.

Keyboard warriors? How do you even come to find that out?

Tend to agree to be honest. Just too expensive and not worth the money.

I had 3 hours to kill on Monday in Bath. I bought a roll and a coffee from Greggs and sat in the park with my book.

It was the same yesterday whilst the dogs were at the groomers in Glastonbury. I bought a sandwich and a coffee from the baker in the high st and ate them in my car.

Cafe culture was a thing and was excellent up to around 5 -10 years ago. It’s not quite the same now, and I don’t know why. Ingredients and service getting cheaper because of higher overheads maybe. Fewer people going to cafes due to cost but also especially if they have one of those machines at home.

So many cafes have dirty sticky tables which aren’t cleared quickly when customers leave. They’re probably short staffed and clearing/wiping tables is seen as low priority.

I have noticed an upswing in the number of sticky tables. I really must ask someone whether there are new regulations about not using spray and a clean, damp cloth to wipe tables. Everywhere I go the tables remain uncleared for ages, then some poor soul with a barely damp, filthy cloth gives them a desultory wipe, knocking all the crumbs onto the floor and chairs rather than collecting them and smearing various sticky substances all over the table top. I am getting exasperated by getting this jam/chocolate sauce/fruit puree melange all over my cuffs everywhere I go.

Is this post a wind up? We all know a potato costs thirty pence. You're paying towards rent, insurance, staff, water, electric, rates etc. It's a business.

Come on now, you're getting a bit carried away surely. How can it be so noisy with toddlers etc yet you can someone typing. You've got the most sensitive hearing I'm the whole world.

The noisy hissy coffee machines and the clatter of mugs/cups/plates gets me. Maybe it's the confined space that makes the clattering sound louder! But I get used to it after a few minutes mostly. Sometimes not.

You misunderstand what a ‘keyboard warrior is’ 😂

We have a local independent which is a tech free zone, there are signs and if you get a call you're expected to take it outside. It's lovely

This is not my experience

I think M&S have gone insane. Our nearest café, which was always busy, was closed so they could put in larger fridges and expand the range on offer except it's still not huge so a bit pointless and they've also lost footfall because there's no café.
The M&S café I usually go to is an out of town giant shop, and the café is very loud, food is just heated up and orders take forever. It is commented on in every inevitable queue and the customers eye roll at the 'improvements'. I was in the shop itself this week, 10am and it was almost exclusively pensioners shopping whilst Scissor Sisters and Dua Lipa caterwauled at top volume down the PA system like we were at a dodgy DJ party.
Generally I think cleanliness and a calmer atmosphere are more likely to be found outside of chains.

People on mobile phones, then you single out "elderly with phones"
push off with the ageism. Get some loop earplugs if older people being out and about annoys you so much

They take work calls on Teams and speak at a much louder volume than necessary.

They are expensive because the cost of every single element that a cafe uses has gone through the roof from eggs and bacon to electricity and staff wages. Fuel as well if they deliver.

You should support small businesses like these as much as possible because before long they will be gone. I work in the food industry and a lot of our customers are up for sale because they are struggling to make the business work in this financial climate.

Why not kick an industry that has already been kicked to death OP.

We eat out at least once, usually twice on a weekend (breakfast, lunch or dinner) and recognise a lot of the issues you mention. Not sure what “toddlers” means though. They are also humans. And I have to say I rarely encounter disturbances from other people’s children.

I’ll also add super uncomfortable chairs, which I’m sure they do on purpose so you eat and go quickly. And really loud music. Was in a local cafe on Sunday and it was unbearably loud - I could barely hear my toddlers tantrum 😉
I do mean that though, the volume was horrendous and therefore everyone in there is talking even louder. I couldn’t wait to get out.

I love going to cafés! Sure not all are created equal, so I just don’t go back to the ones I don’t like. But most are great, though my local one was taken over and they stripped out the wood and plants and basically the personality. But staff are fine and the food, while not as good as before, is decent. But the atmosphere isn’t the same, so I hardly ever go there now because there are plenty of good alternatives.

Surely part of the point of going to a cafe is the bustling thrum of life going on around you, a bit of people watching, seeing other people enjoying themselves.

If you want a cheap coffee in surroundings you can completely control then your own kitchen table is the best bet.

Although in my kitchen there will almost certainly be toddlers, dogs and the elderly person having noisy conversations at the dirty table will be me.