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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

That this a divorce-worthy holiday.

55 replies

OffWith · 28/08/2026 12:43

Name changed because this is definitely going to be outing, and I know some of the relatives are on here, but I just don't fucking care anymore.

We are short of money at the moment so had to save all year for a week in the UK (two young dc, one with SEN) FIL passed away last year, so we invited MIL and my DM. We knew it may be one of the last group family holidays we may have.

From the start I had a feeling that I had made a mistake. MIL started insisting on a certain seaside location. Saying we would all love it and it would mean so much to her. It isn't what we would usually choose as we usually like walks and exploring moors, forest, beaches and caves, but she was so insistent that we gave in. It has lots of shops/pubs/restaurants but not much for children (we figured we could drive out and explore nearby places).

We go home in three days. The disasters that have occured so far:

  1. BIL and awful wife SIL showed up as a 'surprise' when we arrived. I had a sinking feeling as MIL had dropped a few hints but I thought she couldn't be serious. That was fun to deal with, and by 'deal' with, I mean realise I have a spineless DH problem because I was not backed up. They expected the holiday to stop revolving around the dc and start being about sitting in cafes and pubs with them.

  2. My dd had an emergency that required an a&e trip and a few hours in hospital. I feel guilty that the one hour drive there and back, and the a&e stay, felt so relaxing compared to the rest of the holiday.

  3. MIL suddenly insisted she needed to be pushed about in a wheelchair and couldn't possibly go anywhere without one. She did mention having a 'poorly leg' so I offered to book her a scooter a month before the holiday. She insisted she didn't need one. Took days to hire one as they were all to be booked in advance.

  4. Aforementioned shitty BIL started calling MIL and telling her that we were so rude (the one mercy is they were in different accomodation), that no one had made any special effort to welcome him or make a fuss of his birthday (that he had already recieved gifts for), invite him to our apartment, or involve him on day trips (I offered one, he refused as that was for just 'kids').

This caused an almighty row when I finally snapped at MIL when she was weeping over how we had ' not treated' her son.

MIL, BIL and DH are all friends again now. It is just me that is the problem for not getting in line apparently.

Even with all the effort I could muster dc have picked up on an atmosphere, and though they've tried, I can tell they have not enjoyed it and are disappointed.

I am apoplectic. Those immature, narcissistic bellends have ruined what may have been the last holiday I have with my DM and the children. And I know damn well that when we are back home, MIL will expect me to become her personal assistant without complaint again. And expect me to take her on holiday again, not sure she realises yet that hell will have to freeze over first.

And spineless DH will expect me to fall in line, forget they've completely ruined our ONE family holiday and roll over with my belly up like he does. In his eyes, he couldn't be annoyed his brother showed up unannounced, and his shit stirring mother making everything about her and the golden child is just a 'caring mum' getting involved and upset.

AIBU to be seriously, and I mean seriously considering divorce just to get away from having to deal with these people anymore? Written down I know it doesn't look like much, but the level of stress every single day this week is hard to get across!

OP posts:
shellyleppard · 28/08/2026 12:49

Sounds like hell on wheels tbhe. I would just holiday with your mum and DC next time. Let hubby holiday with his own family

Tunnocks34 · 28/08/2026 12:49

The holiday sounds awful, and I completely my understanding your rage. Your husband absolutely should have backed you, and it isn’t fair he hasn’t.

Whether or not you want to consider divorce depends entirely upon the rest of your relationship. If it is a loving one and you want to make it work, a discussion when you get home or even now may be the way forward.

There is however, nothing to stop you putting boundaries in place with your MIL is she expects you to be her assistant.

GoldMerchant · 28/08/2026 12:48

I would be seriously considering divorce too, tbh. People showing up to "surprise" you on your holiday is an absolute nightmare. Even if you like those people.

Take your DC and your DM off somewhere and leave everyone else to it every day until you go home. And never do this again. If your DH wants to holiday with his family, he can do it alone.

Motnight · 28/08/2026 12:47

Sounds very difficult. Stop worrying about what you are "expected" to do. Do what you want. Let DH deal with the consequences

Tumbler2121 · 28/08/2026 12:46

You need to learn to say no or ignore other people's expectations. I bet you knew exactly what would happen, It started when you changed your plans to do something you didn't want to.

And MIL can expect anything she likes. I'd treat her as though she doesn't exist.

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