School mum ignored play date invitation

She very likely forgot. No big deal.

Right - so nothing like the situation at hand.

That parent was basically telling you in a spineless way - not interested!!!

Chances are she forgot - ask again .

However I do have experience of a mum doing this repeatedly . She was part of a clique and I wasn’t - my assumption was that it was just easier to hang out with the clique families . Yes it was rude and yes it upset my son . However they are now sixth form age and are still close friends - once they went to secondary they sorted all meet ups out themselves . It maybe you’ve picked up on something as I did . You certainly aren’t mad for thinking it

She’s probably though oh I’ll reply to that and sort something when we have a spare day.

then forgot.

then thought I must reply and sort it.

then forgot.

and is now thinking oh god I forgot and now it looks like I’ve ignored it and it’ll be embarrassing in I reply now…

In regards to my experience.

The parents didn't reply to multiple messages over a number of years.

There were nice interactions and replies and play dates at other points between this.

But it wasn't uncommon for them to not reply to messages.

So yes 'form'.

A one off really is absolutely nothing and even if it happens multiple times it's not worth taking personally either.

It will work out.

Probably read and forgot to reply. If I have been away on holiday I might read to check if it's something urgent but if not think I will reply another time.

Just sent another message asking if they want to do something if they are still off school this week.

We've all got phones, we all know how quick and easy it is to reply. It takes seconds.
For the sake of your ds I'd just think whatever and ask again but yes agree it is shit to ignore an invite.

There’s two best friends but the Op doesn’t mention inviting the other one?

“Form” for what?

Not replying to one message sent at the start of the summer hols?

The parents of DSs best friends had form for this. It happened repeatedly. It made me paranoid.

However the boys adored each other and it slowly became apparent it wasn't dislike, it's just flakey parents with too much on and forgetting to reply.

Theyve got much better as the boys have got older.

I learnt not to take it personally and to just ask in person when I could rather than message. It was much more effective.

I think being patient and not getting upset in the long run has been better all round. The parents know and understand we are chill and they can just sort it at the last minute if needed.

If the friendship is one that really matters everyone will get there in the end.

This wasn't always easy with DS. We were just honest with him that we just hadn't had a reply and his parents were probably just busy or away. And then we just went and did something else.

Don't make a big deal of it.

It’s still summer holidays & a bank holiday weekend she’s probably just thinking ‘must reply to that message when I get a chance’.

She might be on holiday having fun, out for the day, busy at work… All sorts of reasons. People open with a view to replying later then forget to reply. It doesn’t have to be deep or malicious. I recommend you get out more.

Don’t take it to heart op. She’ll likely get back to you at some point and say they’ve been super busy. 💕

Totally this! Then felt stressed that she'd not answered in ages and would now be considered rude and is totally uncomfortable about this whole thing now. Just text her and ask again and put her out of her misery at thinking you hate her now!

Maybe she’s got loads on. Family problems or illness or works been busy and she’s been struggling.
Just pop her a message, saying Hi I hope you’ve had a good summer. Would great for the boys to catch up soon.
Don’t overthink it. Easy to say I know as I’ve done it!

Dont put down to malice what could be incompetence.

Have you forgotten anything over the summer? Probably.

This

I would forget about the ignored message and move on, could be various reasons why.

Best thing to do is ask her face to face when back at school; her reaction and response then will tell you how she feels. Though guessing she’ll say yes anyway, if you are in front of her! Just see if it happens or not, after.

Yeah - I’d just presume she forgot. Some people struggle with this sort of thing. Don’t take it personally.

Wait til they go back to school. When the boys see each other they’ll come out of school asking for a playdate so the mum won’t be able to refuse!!

She probably meant to reply but forgot to get back to you. Sometimes when the DC were younger and looking at my phone they’d open WhatsApp accidentally and I could miss the message.
I would not take it personally, if you both had agreed on a summer meet up before the break, it would be different.
Summer holidays are often spent frazzled.

They may have been abroad on holiday/busy etc and then forgot to reply. Don't overthink it. Send another invite and if that gets no response then maybe you are correct but one non reply I wouldn't worry over.

She read it. Thought it would be nice. Didn't know all their summer plans so didn't reply straight away, forgot about it.

Yes she was rude not to reply.
Accept it and invite other children.
Do not invite the child again.
Accept that she isn't interested and move on.
This can happen.
Be breezy if you meet.
Invite other children over.
At that age they can make new friends, so go through the class.
One on one playdates can be fantastic to initially build a connection with a child.

Ask one more time before jumping to this conclusion. There is no need to catastrophise about one unanswered message like this.