School mum ignored play date invitation

She hates you and your child, what you should do is obsess about it for years.

Maybe she is just busy, why dp people have to come up with these backstories for why people do or dont do something

Yes in an ideal world every single person wpuld do exactly everything we want of them but if somome not replying to a message creates this much angst maybe there are other issues going on for you?

You sent a message they didnt reply so move on, is this really worth it?

I would argue the opposite is true.
The mum has no connection with you and you fit into the 'school admin' category, which if on holiday or she is stressing with work and childcare may take up more head space and is seen as less important.

If you were an established friend then you might have more importance as there is a connection already and she knows that she wants to maintain it.

I think it's fine for you to message again or to wait til school starts and ask again then.

Also do bear in mind not everyone does playdates. I can count on one hand how many we have done other the years.

Wow judging by the replies everyone on here is rude as fuck. No one really forgets to reply to a message. They just can’t be arsed.

You've not really read all the responses have you ?

What everyone is pointing out to you is that she most likely hasn't chosen
to ignore an invitation for their child to come over, she saw it when it was sent, was unable to reply instantly for any of a myriad of reasons, and then just forgot.

Is there a reason why you didn't follow up a week later with "We are heading out to the park this afternoon, Oliver was wondering if James would like to come with us?" or "We're going to get the paddling pool out tomorrow, does James want to come round and play?" etc.

It is rude.

it is also common.

both things can be true.

falls in the category of rude but we’ve all done it.

So easy to miss one message - come on. Just invite the kid over for a playdate.

Dont over analyse she will be busy. I sent out invites to my sons birthday party and one mum still hasnt answered. It makes no difference to me and her i pass her and say hi every morning. I will remind her nearer the time and if nothing it doesnt matter one less to pay for. This is our childrens lives not ours she is not a friend it isnt personal.

I had this but slightly weird we spoke on the phone (she has slipped her number via reception into my sons book bag) and I couldn’t get off 3 hours I spoke to her for - then she blanked me totally despite her request for a play date. I messaged x3 times and nothing and then 4 years on someone at a club I go to was discussing ‘Vanessa’ and all of a sudden around the table - we all realised we had all been Vanessaed as in same MO - same request for a play date and same sort of initial phone call 3 hours of her life saga and then blanked - all 11 of us had been done. I think there is something seriously wrong either personality, executive function etc something. But it wasn’t me- huge relief.

Some people just have a lot more stuff going on in their lives then arranging play dates 🤣🤣

Duplicated post

Is this the mum for the party you didn’t go to?

Did you turn the invitation down in good time, or did you say yes, and then cancel last minute?

She probably forgot about it.

Oh don’t be so dramatic

one poxy message she missed

You are not being unreasonable to expect a response. 20 years ago when my kids were young it was expected that people would say yay or nay to an invite, not that difficult. People now (even adults for adult events) are just rude and ignore people’s messages. Everyone should respond to an invite it is NORMAL! Not responding is NOT NORMAL. Nothing (other than death or some huge life event) makes not responding to an invite acceptable. Bring back manners!

She probably read it, put her phone down and forgot. Summer hoildays are busy for everyone with going away, hoilday clubs etc.

She probably just forgot and/or had other stuff going on in her life.

The parents of DSs best friends had form for this. It happened repeatedly. It made me paranoid.

I was just saying that this must have been a bit shit for you!

You joined the thread telling us about a mum who “had form for this” and didn’t mention anything about loads of kids and a good relationship. Re read it!!

I talked to her and she was always very honest and upfront about it. I have a good relationship with her now and she has invited me for drinks subsequently.

So I think you are trying to drive a narrative to suit your opinion rather than reflect my experience.

I start assuming she doesn’t like me or doesn’t want our children to be friends.

This is a wild assumption to make from one un-replied-to message, and taking it ridiculously personally. Why on earth would you assume that rather than...she forgot...she was really busy ...she has been on holiday....she has had other significant family issues going on etc?

I would have messaged again a week or so later with something like "I hope you are enjoying the summer. we are thinking of going to the park tomorrow, and wondering if XX would like to come - I can pick him up and drop him off"

Lots of people on here will tell you that people are busy blah blah but the reality is, noone is that busy. They are just rude.
Noone is demanding you let the person know straight away but you should acknowledge the invitation. A simple "thank you for the invitation, I'll let you know by XX date" is perfectly fine and takes a few seconds. It doesn't matter if it's a wedding invitation or just a simple kids' playdate, if someone has been nice enough to think of you, it's ignorant AF to ignore them, unless they gave done something really horrible to you.

However, I can say that it's probably a her issue and not a you issue. Bad manners are shockingly common these days. Far too many have absolutely no idea how to behave and how to treat people.

Just take solace in the fact that as soon as your kids are old enough to make their own arrangements you can stop having anything to do with her rude ass

There are ALOT of times where I've looked at a message, made a mental note to reply later on when I know for sure or not but then completely forgotten I havent replied to said message.
Send her another message.