Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU sleeping arrangement

837 replies

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 10:13

I’m visiting my parents this weekend, as are my 2 sisters (we’re all adults 23,29 and 32). I’m bringing my husband, sisters are going alone. I’m currently 19 weeks pregnant with twins, this is relevant.
all the bedrooms have a single bed in them, prior to pregnancy id just share with my husband and we’d have a bad nights sleep but get over it. Now im pregnant sleeping is a bit more uncomfortable and I need a pillow under my belly etc. so someone has to sleep on the sofa. I can’t make hubby sleep on the sofa because the living room is the walk way through to the kitchen so he’d have no privacy. So the options are for pregnant me or my sisters to go on the sofa. I’ve asked both my sisters if they’d give their bed up for me, they’ve both said no. My one sister even had a tantrum over it and said she just won’t visit if I’m going to take “her” bed (bear in mind she hasn’t lived at my parents house for 7 years).
I’m feeling a little disappointed in my sisters and that they wouldn’t let their pregnant sister have a bed for a weekend. My parents have offered their bed to my husband and I as a result but it doesn’t seem fair as they are both older and need the bed too.
Am I being unreasonable expecting someone to give up a bed for me? I would never ask at any other time in my life, it’s just one weekend during my pregnancy.

OP posts:
Waytoohothot · 28/08/2026 17:07

What kind of man would not sleep on the sofa!! Seriously what kind of man would take a womans bed and make her sleep on the sofa, i think hes in for a huge shock when you give birth and you cant pander to him anymore

Easterchicken · 28/08/2026 17:07

Why can't your husband just sleep on an air bed in the room your sleeping in??

Think it's time your parents invested in a couple new beds and maybe a sofa bed if families are growing and changing

I presume it's a special occasion which is why you are all visiting at once?

AggroPotato · 28/08/2026 17:06

He can crash on the sofa, you're overthinking it.

Ved · 28/08/2026 17:04

TVonyable · 28/08/2026 16:47

Buy a fold up bed? Proper frame one with barred, mine has been fantastic, then you sleep in single, DH sleeps in fold up bed. The fold up will be useful when your dc is older and poor key, you can put it next to cot

But all of the bedrooms are only the size of a coffin. No room for ANYthing in any of them apparently! 😎

Ved · 28/08/2026 17:03

Merrymoonage · 28/08/2026 14:24

“I’ll sleep on a bed of nails for you but I draw the line at a sofa” 😂

😆

Binnyforthewin · 28/08/2026 17:01

Just book a local hotel.

Kalioko · 28/08/2026 16:58

I can't see how there are 3 bedrooms in this house which all can't manage to have someone sleeping on the floor? That seems a bit unbelievable. Even if not on an air mattress but on a folded duvet? How do you even get to the single beds in these rooms if there is no floor space at all?!

ToKittyornottoKitty · 28/08/2026 16:56

AmberGreenwood · 28/08/2026 16:54

I don’t understand why you are annoyed with your sisters and not your husband? What does he need privacy for - surely he can get changed etc in your room? Would he actually let one of your sisters sleep on the sofa so he can have a bed? Sounds like a right dickhead x

Why would she be annoyed at her husband?

AmberGreenwood · 28/08/2026 16:54

I don’t understand why you are annoyed with your sisters and not your husband? What does he need privacy for - surely he can get changed etc in your room? Would he actually let one of your sisters sleep on the sofa so he can have a bed? Sounds like a right dickhead x

EppingIsFun · 28/08/2026 16:51

Boolabus · 28/08/2026 16:28

Op I have to agree with many posters on here that you are BU. You keep insisting that your dh cannot sleep on the couch due to privacy but where is your sisters privacy? You and your dh would be taking up 2 bedrooms, where is your sister meant to get dressed, leave her bags have some personal space during the day if your dh has taken her bedroom? That's the difference in my opinion. If your dh sleeps on the sofa he still has a bedroom he can go to, yours! He can have a quick nap there if he didn't sleep well on the sofa, he can go there once everyone is up and using the communal space. He can go there for quiet space if everyone is still up and chatting. It is completely unreasonable that you and your dh would commandeer two of the bedrooms leaving only a sofa for your sister.

This. And the repeated bleating of 'but he's a guest!'. OP, that's your hangup. You've said DH doesn't mind being on the sofa - so let him. It's two nights. He'll be having far more uncomfortable nights once the twins are here - you both will. This is not a big deal. You just seem to think your feelings about DH being a 'guest' are paramount, to the extent that one of your sisters ought to give up her personal space for him.

Theeyeballsinthesky · 28/08/2026 16:50

mrsm43s · 28/08/2026 16:47

Your husband stops being a wet blanket and sleeps on the sofa, obviously. If he's too precious to do that, then book a hotel room. It's really not OK to kick one of your sisters out of their rooms because your husband is being pathetic.

Tbf it's not the husband complaining it's the OP who is determined to force one of her sisters to give up their bed I can only assume for some deep childhood payback issue or something as none of this makes any sense otherwise

TVonyable · 28/08/2026 16:47

Buy a fold up bed? Proper frame one with barred, mine has been fantastic, then you sleep in single, DH sleeps in fold up bed. The fold up will be useful when your dc is older and poor key, you can put it next to cot

mrsm43s · 28/08/2026 16:47

Your husband stops being a wet blanket and sleeps on the sofa, obviously. If he's too precious to do that, then book a hotel room. It's really not OK to kick one of your sisters out of their rooms because your husband is being pathetic.

PieLittlePony · 28/08/2026 16:46

If you're all in this much of a pickle over sleeping arrangements already, what on earth are you all going to do once the twins are born?!

ToKittyornottoKitty · 28/08/2026 16:42

mmmarmalade · 28/08/2026 16:38

Don't go then - what's the problem? Go another weekend.

You've had every possible solution suggested and if none are possible - don't go - or husband stays at home. It's not rocket science or the end of the world is it?

Slightly insensitive given the very unwell family member

mmmarmalade · 28/08/2026 16:38

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 10:37

I can’t afford it

Don't go then - what's the problem? Go another weekend.

You've had every possible solution suggested and if none are possible - don't go - or husband stays at home. It's not rocket science or the end of the world is it?

Sirzy · 28/08/2026 16:36

PenelopePinkerton · 28/08/2026 16:31

Just ask your husband to sleep with one of your sisters. Problem solved.

Problem solved

Two2TooAlsoToToward · 28/08/2026 16:35

PenelopePinkerton · 28/08/2026 16:31

Just ask your husband to sleep with one of your sisters. Problem solved.

😂

FirmSnake · 28/08/2026 16:34

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 28/08/2026 16:30

It doesn't even have to be single bed sized.

Sharing a 90cm bed means that even a 50-60cm width space on the floor with cushions gives him more personal space than sharing the bed with a pregnant OP. I've actually shifted to a sofa from a double air mattress many times before when sharing with my husband because it was more comfortable.

I find it hard to imagine three single bedrooms without 60cm*180cm floor space.

Exactly. A camping mat would fit. But i think the floor space is reserved for the dogs.

redskyAtNigh · 28/08/2026 16:33

I think OP's parents should convert one (or more) or the rooms along the style of one of those Japanese capsule hotels. They could have different sized pods to completely utilise the space. That way, one of the small bedrooms could be used to accommodate 3 adults, 6 children and at least 4 dogs.

NotSureICanDoIt · 28/08/2026 16:32

OP it sounds like you might get there and when your DH realises you’re on the sofa he might insist he sleeps there instead?

PenelopePinkerton · 28/08/2026 16:31

Just ask your husband to sleep with one of your sisters. Problem solved.

PancakeCloud · 28/08/2026 16:31

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 10:17

He wouldn’t walk through, it’s not his house, but the family will get up in the morning to let dogs out etc. he’s a guest in that house so I don’t feel it’s right for him not to have the privacy, he’s not refused, he doesn’t even know the situation. I want him to feel comfortable in the family home that’s all

this seems ridiculous, your husband can take the sofa

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 28/08/2026 16:30

Merrymoonage · 28/08/2026 16:25

Even a typical box room would fit a single air mattress on the floor. It’s abnormal that out of 3 rooms this couldn’t be accommodated.

It doesn't even have to be single bed sized.

Sharing a 90cm bed means that even a 50-60cm width space on the floor with cushions gives him more personal space than sharing the bed with a pregnant OP. I've actually shifted to a sofa from a double air mattress many times before when sharing with my husband because it was more comfortable.

I find it hard to imagine three single bedrooms without 60cm*180cm floor space.

LivelyJadeLeader · 28/08/2026 16:29

I just don’t think your sisters should have to give up their rooms for your husband because you’re pregnant.
I’ve been pregnant twice and would never of expected my siblings to do this.
Get a bloody hotel and stop moaning!