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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU sleeping arrangement

837 replies

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 10:13

I’m visiting my parents this weekend, as are my 2 sisters (we’re all adults 23,29 and 32). I’m bringing my husband, sisters are going alone. I’m currently 19 weeks pregnant with twins, this is relevant.
all the bedrooms have a single bed in them, prior to pregnancy id just share with my husband and we’d have a bad nights sleep but get over it. Now im pregnant sleeping is a bit more uncomfortable and I need a pillow under my belly etc. so someone has to sleep on the sofa. I can’t make hubby sleep on the sofa because the living room is the walk way through to the kitchen so he’d have no privacy. So the options are for pregnant me or my sisters to go on the sofa. I’ve asked both my sisters if they’d give their bed up for me, they’ve both said no. My one sister even had a tantrum over it and said she just won’t visit if I’m going to take “her” bed (bear in mind she hasn’t lived at my parents house for 7 years).
I’m feeling a little disappointed in my sisters and that they wouldn’t let their pregnant sister have a bed for a weekend. My parents have offered their bed to my husband and I as a result but it doesn’t seem fair as they are both older and need the bed too.
Am I being unreasonable expecting someone to give up a bed for me? I would never ask at any other time in my life, it’s just one weekend during my pregnancy.

OP posts:
WildLeader · 29/08/2026 07:47

NewHere83 · 28/08/2026 17:50

Wait - the night before your mum's wedding you threw a main character tantrum?! Prxieless

Nope, did you read my post

when we went into the room, my sister went straight to the double bed, I suggested that I should share as it’s closer to the loo, I was huge etc but my mum had the tantrum and shared with my sister while I went to the single room

so she was sharing either way.

as I said, this was the tip of a very big iceberg that surfaced when I got pregnant

Two2TooAlsoToToward · 29/08/2026 05:16

Cancel the cheque.

AllIneedAreMyFamilyandDogs · 28/08/2026 22:23

Coconutter24 · 28/08/2026 13:08

Can you ask one of your sisters to sleep in your bed if their room is bigger and say you’ll bring an air mattress for the floor? Your sisters shouldn’t have to give up their privacy so that your DH can have privacy because you’re pregnant. If that isn’t an option then get a hotel. What does your DH say about sleeping on the sofa?

He hasn't been given a voice here.

AllIneedAreMyFamilyandDogs · 28/08/2026 22:22

LauderSyme · 28/08/2026 13:01

Holy Moly! I haven't read the whole thread but I have read all of OP's posts and plenty of others, and I think that's given me the gist of where many posters are coming from.

I am shocked by how many people think basic common decency and hospitality are luxuries that childish selfishness and entitlement can't afford.

I can't believe anyone would think OP is being unreasonable, let alone this many of you.

WTAF you guys?! Of course one of the Not-Pregnant-With-Twins sisters should relinquish her bed. Of course OP's husband should be offered a bedroom. He is a guest. The sisters are staying in their own family home, there is a big difference.

Shaking my damn head.

After being married that long I'd have hoped to have graduated to 'one of the family' rather than a guest.

If it's good enough for one of the sisters to sleep on the couch (original post says someone will have to), then why isn't it good enough for the DH?

ByUniqueViper · 28/08/2026 21:47

Your husband needs to sleep on the sofa with boxer shorts on. As a one off what privacy does he need. Everyone will be in bed asleep

ThisZanyPinkSquid · 28/08/2026 21:43

Could you get an inflatable mattress for your husband to sleep in the same room as you?

MissRaspberryRipples · 28/08/2026 21:34

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 10:19

It’s too small! Its a tiny box room, otherwise we’d absolutely do something like that

Do any of your sisters have a room big enough for you to put an airbed on the floor for your hubby to sleep on? If so maybe ask them to swap rooms with your for the weekend so nobody has to sleep in the living room

ThatPearlKoala · 28/08/2026 20:58

Why do you think your husband deserves more privacy than your sisters? Like you said he is a guest but it is their actual family home, and he is your guest not theirs. Why can’t he sleep on the floor in your room? You said you’re annoyed they won’t give up a bed for you, but you have a bed.
I wouldn’t give up my bed for my sisters husband either, i think it’s very weird that you would even ask your sisters to do this nevermind get annoyed about it.

12234m · 28/08/2026 20:57

ToKittyornottoKitty · 28/08/2026 16:23

Try reading the replies, she’s answered this about 4 times.

Woah. I hadn't seen there were many more pages when I typed this

12234m · 28/08/2026 20:56

ToKittyornottoKitty · 28/08/2026 16:22

So your shocked people think she’s unreasonable for saying her husband can’t sleep on the sofa…. But then you’ve just said he should sleep on the sofa?

No. I meant about the sisters.

Merrymoonage · 28/08/2026 20:29

Moonnstarz · 28/08/2026 20:02

This is the bit I now don't get.
Surely if it's their dogs then why wouldn't the husband be getting up to let them out? Even if the parents have dogs too, DH can be in charge of all of them.
The reasons seemed to be that he is a 'guest' and goes to bed early. Surely he can suck up having a few late nights (and see this as a way of getting used to newborns waking constantly).

He’s a guest, he can’t be expected to take his own dogs out for a morning piss FGS!!

SockPlant · 28/08/2026 20:26

Terfarina · 28/08/2026 19:28

As a mum, I would be mortified if one of my kids refused such a simple basic kindness for their pregnant sister.

i am interested to know where you fit in age compared to the others and if you’ve always been the scapegoat?

as a mum i'd be mortified if my pregnant daughter was wittering on about how her DH is a "guest" in the parental and family home. He isn't, he is part of the family.

The parent's suggestion of OP taking their room and one of them on the sofa is a really good one. And if i was an adult daughter sleeping in my family home that I'd grown up in i would not be at all impressed that any other member of the family wanted me to sleep on the sofa. You can't go to bed until everyone else does, and you are up with the first one. It is utter shit. And having been forced to do it several times, if that is my option, i simply don't go.

Moonnstarz · 28/08/2026 20:02

Emilesgran · 28/08/2026 19:54

Yes it was because her family will have to get up in the morning to let her dogs out through the living room, and they couldn’t be disturbing her husband on the sofa while they were looking after what I suppose are also his dogs.

This is the bit I now don't get.
Surely if it's their dogs then why wouldn't the husband be getting up to let them out? Even if the parents have dogs too, DH can be in charge of all of them.
The reasons seemed to be that he is a 'guest' and goes to bed early. Surely he can suck up having a few late nights (and see this as a way of getting used to newborns waking constantly).

SethTrek · 28/08/2026 19:54

Move a single bed into the living room. You sleep on that. DH sleeps on air mattress in the now empty bedroom. Since it's a bungalow it's very easy

Empress13 · 28/08/2026 19:54

I don’t understand what walking through the living room has to do with anything ? Surely if you all know your DH is sleeping there they will give him a wide berth until he’s up ?

Emilesgran · 28/08/2026 19:54

Terfarina · 28/08/2026 19:41

I don’t think that’s a fair comment, she’s explained why it isn’t appropriate for her husband to sleep there.

Yes it was because her family will have to get up in the morning to let her dogs out through the living room, and they couldn’t be disturbing her husband on the sofa while they were looking after what I suppose are also his dogs.

mrsm43s · 28/08/2026 19:53

Terfarina · 28/08/2026 19:41

I don’t think that’s a fair comment, she’s explained why it isn’t appropriate for her husband to sleep there.

Of course it's appropriate for her DH to sleep on the sofa. OP is just making up nonsensical rules to try to manipulate the situation to get her own way.

Frankly if OP's DH doesn't insist on taking the sofa and instead forces either OP or one of her sisters to give up their beds for him, he's an utterly selfish dick.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 28/08/2026 19:50

The op hasn't returned to inform us if her parents have any dogs, or if it's just her dogs that need to go out in the morning...

Terfarina · 28/08/2026 19:41

Merrymoonage · 28/08/2026 19:32

It’s got nothing to do with their pregnant sister though, the pregnant sister has a bed. She’s choosing to martyr herself on the sofa.

I don’t think that’s a fair comment, she’s explained why it isn’t appropriate for her husband to sleep there.

Merrymoonage · 28/08/2026 19:32

Terfarina · 28/08/2026 19:28

As a mum, I would be mortified if one of my kids refused such a simple basic kindness for their pregnant sister.

i am interested to know where you fit in age compared to the others and if you’ve always been the scapegoat?

It’s got nothing to do with their pregnant sister though, the pregnant sister has a bed. She’s choosing to martyr herself on the sofa.

Terfarina · 28/08/2026 19:28

As a mum, I would be mortified if one of my kids refused such a simple basic kindness for their pregnant sister.

i am interested to know where you fit in age compared to the others and if you’ve always been the scapegoat?

redskyAtNigh · 28/08/2026 19:17

FrostyPalms · 28/08/2026 19:13

You originally said you couldn't afford a hotel, which many posters (including myself) thought was worrying as you have twins on the way.

The fact is you could afford a hotel. But you are making the choice to take a whole year off work after your babies are born and need to save your money for that. Totally your choice, but to say you can't afford a hotel is inaccurate.

A lot of people use "can't afford" to mean "I choose to spend my money on other things" to be fair to OP.

FrostyPalms · 28/08/2026 19:13

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 15:11

Our finances are just fine, the reason I have no money is because we have twins on the way. We’re having lots of work done on our house in preparation for their arrival plus the fact I’m having to put every penny aside for mat leave, I have no money to spare on hotels when there’s a perfectly good house I can stay in.

So it’s a bungalow, 3 of the bedrooms are lined up together along the front of the house, making them narrow, the other one is a funny shape because of the way the wall was knocked through, I was young when the work was done I can’t remember but it’s a bungalow that was intended to have 3 bedrooms and they made it 4.

You originally said you couldn't afford a hotel, which many posters (including myself) thought was worrying as you have twins on the way.

The fact is you could afford a hotel. But you are making the choice to take a whole year off work after your babies are born and need to save your money for that. Totally your choice, but to say you can't afford a hotel is inaccurate.

godmum56 · 28/08/2026 19:11

Merrymoonage · 28/08/2026 10:52

Not sure your point or why that’s relevant.
Would he expect to sleep in his SILs childhood bed instead?

he'd have said "hotel or I am not going"

Cob81 · 28/08/2026 19:09

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 11:30

it was a 3 bed house, then a wall was put up to make 4 bedrooms, making 3 of the bedrooms very small…
its really not that hard to believe, why would I lie?

What size are the bedrooms in feet? Is there space under bed to put the feet part?