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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU sleeping arrangement

837 replies

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 10:13

I’m visiting my parents this weekend, as are my 2 sisters (we’re all adults 23,29 and 32). I’m bringing my husband, sisters are going alone. I’m currently 19 weeks pregnant with twins, this is relevant.
all the bedrooms have a single bed in them, prior to pregnancy id just share with my husband and we’d have a bad nights sleep but get over it. Now im pregnant sleeping is a bit more uncomfortable and I need a pillow under my belly etc. so someone has to sleep on the sofa. I can’t make hubby sleep on the sofa because the living room is the walk way through to the kitchen so he’d have no privacy. So the options are for pregnant me or my sisters to go on the sofa. I’ve asked both my sisters if they’d give their bed up for me, they’ve both said no. My one sister even had a tantrum over it and said she just won’t visit if I’m going to take “her” bed (bear in mind she hasn’t lived at my parents house for 7 years).
I’m feeling a little disappointed in my sisters and that they wouldn’t let their pregnant sister have a bed for a weekend. My parents have offered their bed to my husband and I as a result but it doesn’t seem fair as they are both older and need the bed too.
Am I being unreasonable expecting someone to give up a bed for me? I would never ask at any other time in my life, it’s just one weekend during my pregnancy.

OP posts:
Robertsmithsnan · 28/08/2026 10:33

Husband stays at home. You visit your family

PopcornKitten · 28/08/2026 10:33

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 10:27

Because my family are poor and can’t afford a bigger house, is that okay?
husband does deserve more privacy because it’s not the family he grew up with? Husband doesn’t want to be asleep on the sofa when my mum walks through in the morning but if that happened with my sisters and I it wouldn’t mean anything because it’s our mum.

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100% I get this. You have to be v comfortable with someone to be in that situation. Much better for family of origin to do this.
id just opt for the hotel tbh. There’s no need to make a song and dance about it- just say being pregnant I feel I need a bigger bed.

Original poster
strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 10:31

Bloatstoat · 28/08/2026 10:28

Are you saying NONE of the single rooms would accommodate an airbed on the floor, even if it meant moving some furniture? This sounds quite unusual.

I think the answer would be you swap with sister who has a room big enough to squeeze in an air bed, even if that means people are not in 'their' rooms.

I don't think you were unreasonable to ask one of your sisters to have the sofa, but they have said no, and continuing to push won't necessarily get a different answer, it will just create bad feeling - you need to find an alternative. If all rooms are so small you can't fit someone sleeping on the floor, this may mean a hotel.

Yes, honestly, none of them will fit an airbed, my parents know it’s an issue and it comes up when we all get together but nothing can be done unless they move house. It’s really not that unusual, it’s a 3 bed house that they added an additional room to so we could all have our own bedroom. Not everyone lives in a nice big spacious house with multiple double rooms

OP posts:
BeingATwatItsABingThing · 28/08/2026 10:28

You’re going to have to get a nearby hotel. It’s perfectly reasonable for your sisters to not want to sleep on a sofa when they have a bed in their family home that they’re being booted out of. You could ask your DH to make sure he’s up early enough that privacy isn’t an issue and ask your family not to go down before 7/8am.

Bloatstoat · 28/08/2026 10:28

Are you saying NONE of the single rooms would accommodate an airbed on the floor, even if it meant moving some furniture? This sounds quite unusual.

I think the answer would be you swap with sister who has a room big enough to squeeze in an air bed, even if that means people are not in 'their' rooms.

I don't think you were unreasonable to ask one of your sisters to have the sofa, but they have said no, and continuing to push won't necessarily get a different answer, it will just create bad feeling - you need to find an alternative. If all rooms are so small you can't fit someone sleeping on the floor, this may mean a hotel.

Original poster
strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 10:27

Bellaboo01 · 28/08/2026 10:22

  • Why are there single beds? If there is a room size issue then there are small doubles which might be better.
  • Why does your husband need more privacy than your sisters which would mean that one of them has to give up their bedroom?
  • Can you get a blow up bed and your husband sleep on that in your room?

Because my family are poor and can’t afford a bigger house, is that okay?
husband does deserve more privacy because it’s not the family he grew up with? Husband doesn’t want to be asleep on the sofa when my mum walks through in the morning but if that happened with my sisters and I it wouldn’t mean anything because it’s our mum.

OP posts:
Fern26 · 28/08/2026 10:27

You have said your husband and you have stayed many times before and shared a bed so this isn’t his first time at the family home he has visited prior he is also your husband and you are expecting so I take it you have been together a while, so I can’t see a reason why he can’t sleep on the sofa and why you keep saying you want him to feel welcome in the family home - he is already part of the family everyone just mucks in.

ToddlerTime45532 · 28/08/2026 10:25

Book a hotel.

DH sleeps on sofa.

Visit at a different time.

Your parents don't have a house big enough to accommodate all of you at the same time. Just accept it and move on rather than making your sisters sleep on the sofa because a man needs his privacy.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 28/08/2026 10:25

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 10:22

no not at all, that isn’t it! It’s nothing to do with my husband deserving better. My sisters both lived at the house their whole lives, the whole family is pretty comfortable together so sleeping in a communal room isn’t an issue but hubby isn’t going to be as comfortable as the rest of us in that situation.
im not putting my husband above them in anyway, I’m just trying to make sure he feels welcome and has a private space

Show quote history

You are, he’s family but you are acting like he’s an extra special guest and haven’t even alerted him to the situation yet. He’s not a new boyfriend, you are married! Even if he didn’t walk through your sisters deserve to not have to worry about that as young women in their family home. Hotel may be best if they won’t swap rooms so you can fit an air mattress

CeciliaMars · 28/08/2026 10:25

You’re making way too big a deal of this. Air bed or husband sleeps on the sofa. But I agree, your sisters aren’t being kind. Maybe they’re jealous!

Original poster
strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 10:24

ToKittyornottoKitty · 28/08/2026 10:20

Ask a sister with a bigger room if they will swap so you can fit the air mattress

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I promise I’m not being difficult, there are 3 single bed rooms with no space for anything on the floor, it’s an issue every Christmas, the only double room is my parents room

OP posts:
Foxyloxy89 · 28/08/2026 10:24

Your sisters are being selfish dicks. Your parents are being weak. I just wouldn't go tbh or get a hotel nearby.

Tablesandchairs23 · 28/08/2026 10:23

Get an airbed and put on the floor on your room. Or leave husband at home.

Original poster
strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 10:23

There isn’t space for an air mattress please stop suggesting this. There aren’t any other options than for someone to be on the sofa

OP posts:
Original poster
strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 10:22

Brendayouknowthatyouremuchtoolazy · 28/08/2026 10:18

So you want your sisters to be put out so "hubby" isn't? Don't be one of those women.

no not at all, that isn’t it! It’s nothing to do with my husband deserving better. My sisters both lived at the house their whole lives, the whole family is pretty comfortable together so sleeping in a communal room isn’t an issue but hubby isn’t going to be as comfortable as the rest of us in that situation.
im not putting my husband above them in anyway, I’m just trying to make sure he feels welcome and has a private space

OP posts:
TheChosenTwo · 28/08/2026 10:22

Just book a hotel and avoid all this angst and drama.
Ive slept on the sofa before being quite heavily pregnant (granted not with twins! And when I say slept I’d say more watched tv and dozed, I had weird pregnant insomnia towards the end), I was fine for a night or two but if you don’t want to then get yourself a nice hotel room for the night. Would be more comfortable for you both.

Bellaboo01 · 28/08/2026 10:22
  • Why are there single beds? If there is a room size issue then there are small doubles which might be better.
  • Why does your husband need more privacy than your sisters which would mean that one of them has to give up their bedroom?
  • Can you get a blow up bed and your husband sleep on that in your room?
freezingmytoesoff · 28/08/2026 10:21

Honestly even though it'd be nice for one of your sisters to accommodate, your husband is part of the family, he can sleep on the sofa even if it is a walk way.

My husband isn't a guest in my parents house, it's his home too, he's part of the family.

Namechangefordaughterevasion · 28/08/2026 10:21

Whoever loses out and ends up sleeping in the living room will have no privacy. II don't understand why your husbands need for privacy while he sleeps is more important than your sisters.

Under the circumstances someone is going to be inconvenienced. I think it's unfair for your sisters to give up their rooms for your DH's comfort.

Pinkflamingo10 · 28/08/2026 10:21

Being a futon/camping bed for your husband. He can sleep on the floor beside you. You keep single bed.
might be worth changing your single bed to a double for next visit

jeaux90 · 28/08/2026 10:20

No way would I give up my bed for a brother in law. Why should your sisters prioritise your DH? He can sleep on the sofa or put something on the floor for him to sleep on.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 28/08/2026 10:20

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 10:19

It’s too small! Its a tiny box room, otherwise we’d absolutely do something like that

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Ask a sister with a bigger room if they will swap so you can fit the air mattress

Original poster
strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 10:20

PaterPower · 28/08/2026 10:18

Single air bed sounds like the way to go. They’re not expensive.

The issue is space, it wouldn’t fit!

OP posts:
Original poster
strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 10:20

ToKittyornottoKitty · 28/08/2026 10:18

Air mattress on the floor of your room works then.

Show quote history

It doesn’t fit an air mattress, I’d absolutely do this if I could, it’s a small house

OP posts:
PopcornKitten · 28/08/2026 10:19

Your sister is being very unkind. Obviously you should have a bed.
I think you should be in a bedroom with your DH. If that needs to be on the floor for him then so be it. I wouldn’t expect him to sleep in public at the in laws.
Tbh, when we go places where space is tight- we book a hotel. Much more comfortable and no one in the front room.