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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU sleeping arrangement

837 replies

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 10:13

I’m visiting my parents this weekend, as are my 2 sisters (we’re all adults 23,29 and 32). I’m bringing my husband, sisters are going alone. I’m currently 19 weeks pregnant with twins, this is relevant.
all the bedrooms have a single bed in them, prior to pregnancy id just share with my husband and we’d have a bad nights sleep but get over it. Now im pregnant sleeping is a bit more uncomfortable and I need a pillow under my belly etc. so someone has to sleep on the sofa. I can’t make hubby sleep on the sofa because the living room is the walk way through to the kitchen so he’d have no privacy. So the options are for pregnant me or my sisters to go on the sofa. I’ve asked both my sisters if they’d give their bed up for me, they’ve both said no. My one sister even had a tantrum over it and said she just won’t visit if I’m going to take “her” bed (bear in mind she hasn’t lived at my parents house for 7 years).
I’m feeling a little disappointed in my sisters and that they wouldn’t let their pregnant sister have a bed for a weekend. My parents have offered their bed to my husband and I as a result but it doesn’t seem fair as they are both older and need the bed too.
Am I being unreasonable expecting someone to give up a bed for me? I would never ask at any other time in my life, it’s just one weekend during my pregnancy.

OP posts:
wandererofthekingdom · 28/08/2026 10:52

I don't really see why its better for your sisters to have no privacy rather than your husband. If all these bedrooms are so small how are you going to all stay over when the twins come. I think you should start looking at and getting used to alternative visiting accommodations now anyway if none of the other rooms fit a double.

AgentKim · 28/08/2026 10:52

You dont have to sleep on the blow up mattress though your husband can, but what about when you have the twins where will everyone sleep then ?.
You wont be able to visit for the night then unless your sisters are visiting at the same time. Let your hubby sleep on the sofa its just for one night. Im surehe wont mind if you ask him.

Merrymoonage · 28/08/2026 10:52

godmum56 · 28/08/2026 10:50

I dunno, my late husband wouldn't have even fitted on my late Mum's sofa

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Not sure your point or why that’s relevant.
Would he expect to sleep in his SILs childhood bed instead?

aberamagold · 28/08/2026 10:52

You're not unreasonable wanting a bed.

You are unreasonable getting annoyed with your sisters. It's your parents' house. All the beds are your parents' beds. If they'd rather make themselves uncomfortable than make one of their adult daughters sleep on the sofa, that's their problem.

Sleep in your parents' bed and enjoy the comfort.

Original poster
strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 10:52

Bloatstoat · 28/08/2026 10:41

I understand lack of space - the house I grew up in had 3 bedrooms with bathroom downstairs, so upstairs was small! The room my sister and I shared had bunk beds with chest of drawers opposite, leaving v little space - but would have just got an airbed in if moved chest of drawers out, my brother's room had a cabin bed with wardrobe etc underneath, leaving enough room for airbed (though you had to lift it to open/close door!). So I just wondered if there were any solutions with moving furniture to give a bit of space in some of the rooms, as quit unusual to have 3 bedrooms that fit a single bed and nothing else at all. But if that's your parent's situation, then I think your only option is to stay in a hotel/ B&B as sofa doesn't work for your sisters and rightly or wrongly if they won't they won't.

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I’m tempted to add photos of all three bedrooms to show everyone what the rooms look like, people don’t seem to believe that not everyone has big rooms in their house! Two of the rooms are narrow and the other one has a wardrobe in it, there’s nowhere to move it to so we can get an airbed in.

OP posts:
butidid · 28/08/2026 10:51

What do your parents say? They could start looking in Facebook etc for a double sofa bed which might be a solution going forward. They work well in box rooms, sofa most of the time and no floor space when open, but did the job!

What about one of you staying at a friend's house? If it's the family home and some are in their 20's surely there are people nearby who wouldn't mind giving a bed ? Can just sleep there but have all meals at your parents?

Timespeeding · 28/08/2026 10:51

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 10:40

He wouldn’t walk through, as I’ve said, people walking through will be my family dealing with dogs in the morning

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Oh well, never mind. He'll be fine.

Mumtotornadoes · 28/08/2026 10:51

I just wouldnt go. Obviously this tradition of you all going over at the same time has come to an end. You have a baby on the way. It's only a matter of time before your sisters are the same.

RVectensian · 28/08/2026 10:50

deveronvalley · 28/08/2026 10:17

£20 air mattress on the floor of your room for the husband with you on the proper single bed.

Edited

Indeed. Why is this so complicated?

Bumbers · 28/08/2026 10:50

Your DH should just sleep on the sofa. You are making this a bigger issue than it needs to be.

TeaFizzy · 28/08/2026 10:50

ItsOnlyMee1 · 28/08/2026 10:46

I cannot see why your husband is refusing the sofa.

I can’t either.

He’s just sleeping - hardly a particularly private activity. Presumably he’ll be wearing pyjamas or something and have some kind of bed covering?

Bellaboo01 · 28/08/2026 10:50

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 10:47

Yeah absolutely, my mum and I were talking about it this morning and she’s thinking maybe they’ll have to move in the future or lose one bathroom to extend a bedroom… families absolutely do change, and very quickly, it’s just unfortunate that this weekend those big changes can’t be made!
I think my frustration stems from the fact that id give up my bed for my sisters without hesitation! My sisters have always been a bit like this, wouldn’t share things, everything is “mine” etc, we went on holiday when i was in my early 20s and there were 2 single beds between 3 of us, so of course I ended up on the floor on a makeshift bed made from cushions 😂 I just hoped they might return the favour!

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But, they are not refusing to give up their bedroom for YOU. They are refusing to give up their bedroom for your husband.

godmum56 · 28/08/2026 10:50

Merrymoonage · 28/08/2026 10:48

It’s making him sounds like a bit of a diva. What sort of man refuses to sleep on the sofa due to ‘privacy’ but thinks his sister in law should let him sleep in her childhood bed while she sleeps on the sofa instead? It’s really weird.

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I dunno, my late husband wouldn't have even fitted on my late Mum's sofa

Imaynotbeadorablebutitry · 28/08/2026 10:50

A few questions:

Is your husband really going to care if his MIL walks through quietly to let the dogs out? I mean he’s only sleeping and surely can wear a pair of PJs or shorts and a t-shirt?

If he’s not comfortable to do that, could he not just let the dogs out (potentially feed them) himself? That way no one needs to walk through.

How old are your parents? Given your ages I doubt they are that old so one of them should be fine on the sofa.

Your sisters are being a little unkind, but equally I think you are being overly precious about your husband.

FieryA · 28/08/2026 10:49

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 10:17

He wouldn’t walk through, it’s not his house, but the family will get up in the morning to let dogs out etc. he’s a guest in that house so I don’t feel it’s right for him not to have the privacy, he’s not refused, he doesn’t even know the situation. I want him to feel comfortable in the family home that’s all

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Your husband is part of the family. He is not a guest. There is no reason why he cannot sleep on the sofa. Though, your sister's attitude is quite childish, fhrowing a tantrum like that at her age. Does she not like you?

eclipsed · 28/08/2026 10:48

How far away from your parents do you live? If less than 3 hours, could you just go there and back in a day if you can't afford a hotel? If it is more than 3 hours away and you are too broke to afford a hotel, perhaps you shouldn't even be spending out on the petrol that it will cost you, or the train fare, as that money could be better used for things the baby needs.

Merrymoonage · 28/08/2026 10:48

ItsOnlyMee1 · 28/08/2026 10:46

I cannot see why your husband is refusing the sofa.

It’s making him sounds like a bit of a diva. What sort of man refuses to sleep on the sofa due to ‘privacy’ but thinks his sister in law should let him sleep in her childhood bed while she sleeps on the sofa instead? It’s really weird.

Bellaboo01 · 28/08/2026 10:48

climbintheback · 28/08/2026 10:46

How do you get into the single bed in the box room - stand in the doorway and fly like superman onto the bed?

This is exactly what i thought - Ha ha!!!

Original poster
strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 10:47

SueKeeper · 28/08/2026 10:40

Bit of an odd suggestion, but DH might prefer being in a tent in the garden to the sofa bed?

Unfortunately your DPs can no longer host this many people at the same time. They have room for three guests, no more, but if there's no room for an airbed, there's no room for a travel cot. Either people have to come at different times or someone needs to book a hotel.

It's unfortunate but just the way it goes as families change and expand. You can maybe stick someone on a sofa or tent this time, but going forward you either essentially "book," two rooms and your parents have to say no to the last person asking to come or you book a hotel.

Yeah absolutely, my mum and I were talking about it this morning and she’s thinking maybe they’ll have to move in the future or lose one bathroom to extend a bedroom… families absolutely do change, and very quickly, it’s just unfortunate that this weekend those big changes can’t be made!
I think my frustration stems from the fact that id give up my bed for my sisters without hesitation! My sisters have always been a bit like this, wouldn’t share things, everything is “mine” etc, we went on holiday when i was in my early 20s and there were 2 single beds between 3 of us, so of course I ended up on the floor on a makeshift bed made from cushions 😂 I just hoped they might return the favour!

OP posts:
Wherewithout · 28/08/2026 10:46

I’d just go another time when it’s just you and DH visiting.

Merrymoonage · 28/08/2026 10:46

What do you want people to tell you? No one is going to give some magical way to force your sister to skew on the sofa of her family house for the sake of your husband.
You’ve poo pooed every suggestion people have given you so the only option is for your husband to stay home and not visit.

climbintheback · 28/08/2026 10:46

How do you get into the single bed in the box room - stand in the doorway and fly like superman onto the bed?

OhIHaveACopy · 28/08/2026 10:46

jeaux90 · 28/08/2026 10:20

No way would I give up my bed for a brother in law. Why should your sisters prioritise your DH? He can sleep on the sofa or put something on the floor for him to sleep on.

Me neither and I love mine. So what if people have to walk through to let dogs out can't he wear pyjamas for the night?

ItsOnlyMee1 · 28/08/2026 10:46

I cannot see why your husband is refusing the sofa.

Whyherewego · 28/08/2026 10:46

I am with PP, it would seem unusual that absolutely none of the rooms have sufficient floor space for a small airbed or rollout camping mat. Surely a bit of furniture can be moved around to accommodate?
If there is really no space at all then hubby will have to sleep on sofa and that is that. He will have to cope with getting up early that morning. And you will have to accept that you can never visit again when your sisters are there. Because once you have twins it is clear that your parents will not have sufficient space for you. If you cannot fit an airbed you cannot fit 2 travel cots