Page 27 | AIBU sleeping arrangement

strawberrylemons · 2026-08-28T09:13:21+00:00

I’m visiting my parents this weekend, as are my 2 sisters (we’re all adults 23,29 and 32). I’m bringing my husband, sisters are going alone. I’m currently 19 weeks pregnant with twins, this is relevant. all the bedrooms have a single bed in them, prior to pregnancy id just share with my husband and we’d have a bad nights sleep but get over it. Now im pregnant sleeping is a bit more uncomfortable and I need a pillow under my belly etc. so someone has to sleep on the sofa. I can’t make hubby sleep on the sofa because the living room is the walk way through to the kitchen so he’d have no privacy. So the options are for pregnant me or my sisters to go on the sofa. I’ve asked both my sisters if they’d give their bed up for me, they’ve both said no. My one sister even had a tantrum over it and said she just won’t visit if I’m going to take “her” bed (bear in mind she hasn’t lived at my parents house for 7 years). I’m feeling a little disappointed in my sisters and that they wouldn’t let their pregnant sister have a bed for a weekend. My parents have offered their bed to my husband and I as a result but it doesn’t seem fair as they are both older and need the bed too. Am I being unreasonable expecting someone to give up a bed for me? I would never ask at any other time in my life, it’s just one weekend during my pregnancy.

Merrymoonage · 28/08/2026 11:41

So when you visit with children how will you and the twins fit in any of the single rooms if they can’t even fit a single mattress on the floor?
It sounds like this trip is the least of your worries.
You need to come up with a new solution for visiting going forward surely?

IdentifyingAsAWoollyMammoth · 28/08/2026 11:40

If you can't afford a hotel for one night (and a b&b or guest house may be cheaper) how on earth are you going to afford twins?

If you really can't afford it, then don't go. You and husband go on another weekend when the house isn't so full.

This is clearly going to be a thread that just goes round in circles, however.

Shinyandnew1 · 28/08/2026 11:40

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 11:37

He would absolutely sleep on the sofa, I’m not saying that, he’s a good man, I’ve made him out to be a terrible husband without meaning to!

i think it’s my issue of wanting a guest (in this case my husband) to have a private room to sleep in. It’s just how it’s always been, whether it’s aunties or friends, doesn’t matter, I don’t feel comfortable having a guest in the living room, I want them to have their own space, and that’s how my parents feel too, they won’t have my hubby sleeping on the sofa while he’s a guest in their house.
I understand what other people are saying and I can see that I’m being difficult but it’s just how I feel so when people question it I’m just trying to explain that, not trying to argue against everyone’s suggestions for the sake of it, just explaining where my thinking is.

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But you want one of them to sleep on the sofa so your husband doesn’t have to and they don’t want to.

What about the other options-

He stays at home.
You invite everyone to yours.
You go and stay there at a different time to your sisters.

LilacReader · 28/08/2026 11:40

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 10:47

Yeah absolutely, my mum and I were talking about it this morning and she’s thinking maybe they’ll have to move in the future or lose one bathroom to extend a bedroom… families absolutely do change, and very quickly, it’s just unfortunate that this weekend those big changes can’t be made!
I think my frustration stems from the fact that id give up my bed for my sisters without hesitation! My sisters have always been a bit like this, wouldn’t share things, everything is “mine” etc, we went on holiday when i was in my early 20s and there were 2 single beds between 3 of us, so of course I ended up on the floor on a makeshift bed made from cushions 😂 I just hoped they might return the favour!

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Maybe remind your sisters of this!

OvernightBloats · 28/08/2026 11:40

How about a using a yoga mat to lie down on? They are usually smaller so it could fit in the space next to a single bed. Not the most comfortable, obviously, but it means that he can sleep in your room still.

horsesaanddogs · 28/08/2026 11:40

If it’s that much an issue just don’t go. Personally I don’t see the issue with husband sleeping on sofa

AllIneedAreMyFamilyandDogs · 28/08/2026 11:39

Your DH has to sleep on the sofa. That's where there is room. No, it's not perfect but often family having these kinds of visits don't have ideal situations or privacy. You just get on with it and deal with it. Or get a hotel.

FridaLady82 · 28/08/2026 11:39

buy a proper mattress and stick it on the floor in the lounge so you don’t have to sleep on the sofa. Prob plenty around on marketplace. If you’re pregnant a blow up won’t work. DH has your room and you have a proper mattress on the floor in the lounge.

Drivingselfmad · 28/08/2026 11:38

As others have said, buy a cheap airbed for your husband. I can see why your sisters don’t want to give up their beds (I’d still see it as ‘my’ bed in my parents’ home), and I’m not sure why your husband needs privacy when he and everyone else will be asleep. It does seem this goes deeper than the sleeping arrangements issue. Are you compensating for your husband potentially being narky about sleeping on the sofa? Do you feel that your sisters aren’t recognising your pregnancy? Do you feel they are selfish generally? Only you know what lies beneath, but on this occasion I’d suck it up tbh.

edit: sorry just seen that the rooms are too small for an airbed. Honestly if your husband would gladly offer to sleep on the sofa, as you say, then he should just just do it. He can start off in your room and make his way to the sofa later on. Or he could stay at home, if he finds family events overwhelming anyway.

You will also need to consider how things will work when you have a baby to bring too.

Mycatmax · 28/08/2026 11:38

Dependsoncontext · 28/08/2026 11:32

If your husband would be Okay with not going and you'd be Okay to get there without him, surely that is the best solution to this.

Well yes, but then OP misses out on creating a shit load of drama and attention.

Original poster

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 11:37

Moveoverdarlin · 28/08/2026 11:30

Why can’t the poor lamb retreat to your room when it all gets too much? But at 11 /12 when you all head to bed, he sleeps on the sofa. As soon as your Mum comes down to do the dogs in the morning he can either….

A) Say good morning to your Mum, make you a cup of tea and offer one to your Mum (like a normal bloke)

or

B) If he is that overwhelmed, could he run up the stairs as soon as he hears movement upstairs and hide in your bedroom with his pregnant wife so he doesn’t have to speak to his mother in law?

No offence but you’re making this far too complicated - you can’t afford a hotel, there’s no space for an airbed, I completely get all that, I believe you. But if he’s a good man, the gentlemanly thing to do would be for him to take the sofa and let all the sisters have a bed.

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He would absolutely sleep on the sofa, I’m not saying that, he’s a good man, I’ve made him out to be a terrible husband without meaning to!

i think it’s my issue of wanting a guest (in this case my husband) to have a private room to sleep in. It’s just how it’s always been, whether it’s aunties or friends, doesn’t matter, I don’t feel comfortable having a guest in the living room, I want them to have their own space, and that’s how my parents feel too, they won’t have my hubby sleeping on the sofa while he’s a guest in their house.
I understand what other people are saying and I can see that I’m being difficult but it’s just how I feel so when people question it I’m just trying to explain that, not trying to argue against everyone’s suggestions for the sake of it, just explaining where my thinking is.

OP posts:

DrNo007 · 28/08/2026 11:37

Hotel or B&B. No point in anyone suffering.

Shinyandnew1 · 28/08/2026 11:36

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 11:30

it was a 3 bed house, then a wall was put up to make 4 bedrooms, making 3 of the bedrooms very small…
its really not that hard to believe, why would I lie?

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It’s not hard to believe, it’s just an unusual setup. Information that would have been pretty critical in your OP.

You won’t be able to stay there altogether when your twins arrive, so change your plans now. Go at a different time to your sisters, leave your husband at home, or invite everyone to yours.

Dependsoncontext · 28/08/2026 11:34

Holeymoley28 · 28/08/2026 11:32

I get that but surely he can nest on the floor in the room then?

As most small singles still have that walking space.

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Agree and you can get some unbelievably slim inflatable mattresses or just buy a couple of cheap ones from Argos and trim them down to fit. For less than £20 he'll have a reasonably comfy bed.

Goldengirl123 · 28/08/2026 11:34

You are not being unreasonable about sleeping together in a single bed but you are being unreasonable saying he can’t sleep on the sofa. Can you take an inflatable mattress with you to go on your bedroom floor?

Savvysix1984 · 28/08/2026 11:33

My dh is a private man and prob wouldn’t want to sleep on a sofa in a semi- communal area in my parents home.
So he would either put up with it or not come. The fact he said he’ll sleep on the sofa means you’re making this a big deal.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 28/08/2026 11:33

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 11:30

it was a 3 bed house, then a wall was put up to make 4 bedrooms, making 3 of the bedrooms very small…
its really not that hard to believe, why would I lie?

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I didn’t say I think you are lying, I said people were making suggestions because it’s an unusual set up, it doesn’t mean everyone thinks all houses are huge and we have toddlers in huge king size beds like the poster was suggesting.

You’ve said no to every suggestion as they don’t work for you, and are moaning about people even making the suggestions… but we can’t make your sisters give up their rooms so I’m not sure what else you want. Let DH stay home as you say he doesn’t enjoy these events anyway

Catza · 28/08/2026 11:32

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 10:22

no not at all, that isn’t it! It’s nothing to do with my husband deserving better. My sisters both lived at the house their whole lives, the whole family is pretty comfortable together so sleeping in a communal room isn’t an issue but hubby isn’t going to be as comfortable as the rest of us in that situation.
im not putting my husband above them in anyway, I’m just trying to make sure he feels welcome and has a private space

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He is an adult and he will cope. I frequently sleep on my friends' sofa when I visit them. They are up and down in the morning tip toeing around me. Am I loving it? Not really. But I am absolutely fine with it and am not going to turf one of them out of their own bed to accommodate me. I am sure if you actually speak to your husband, he will feel exactly the same way.
If he doesn't, then book a hotel for the night.

Dependsoncontext · 28/08/2026 11:32

If your husband would be Okay with not going and you'd be Okay to get there without him, surely that is the best solution to this.

Holeymoley28 · 28/08/2026 11:32

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 11:30

it was a 3 bed house, then a wall was put up to make 4 bedrooms, making 3 of the bedrooms very small…
its really not that hard to believe, why would I lie?

Show quote history

I get that but surely he can nest on the floor in the room then?

As most small singles still have that walking space.

likeitshard · 28/08/2026 11:32

If there’s no solution and you can’t afford a hotel I would say your dh doesn’t go.

MoistVonL · 28/08/2026 11:32

when my auntie stayed at my parents house, I slept on the sofa

Well, of course, because she's a guest and an older adult.

Your husband isn't a guest, he's your husband. Actual family. About to be father of the grandchildren.

He can sleep on a sofa, or you can take an airbed and he can sleep on that in the living room. You shouldn't expect your sisters to be ousted.

averythinline · 28/08/2026 11:31

Don't all go at the same time is going to be the future especially when you have twins..
I get the tiny room thing and the dh privacy thing but if they are all tiny singles then this isn't workable..
So you do this visit alone .... If yiu must go at this time..or you and dh go at a different time from your sisters..

Original poster

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 11:30

ToKittyornottoKitty · 28/08/2026 11:22

No, people aren’t thinking all rooms are huge. people are thinking one of 3 single rooms may have space to fit an air mattress on the floor. It’s unusual for a house to have 1 double bedroom and 3 tiny box rooms that can’t fit a human next to a single bed. There’s no need to dramatise what people are saying

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it was a 3 bed house, then a wall was put up to make 4 bedrooms, making 3 of the bedrooms very small…
its really not that hard to believe, why would I lie?

OP posts:

Moveoverdarlin · 28/08/2026 11:30

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 11:11

I briefly mentioned that we’d have to sort something out, but I don’t want him to feel he has to say “yeah I’ll sleep on the sofa” because he’s a good man and I know he would, but I know that he wouldn’t be comfortable. He’s a shy man from a small family, it’s just him and his mum, no cousins nothing and he finds it overwhelming when my family all get together but he always comes to family events despite it not being his thing. I feel like he needs a space he can retreat to when it gets a bit much. I want to do what I can to make sure he feels welcome and comfortable.
Also the family generally stay up til 11/12 chatting in the living room, he’ll slip away around 10 and go to bed, he’s never been one to stay up late, so he does need that space, it would be awful if he had to wait for everyone to go to bed so he can finally rest!

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Why can’t the poor lamb retreat to your room when it all gets too much? But at 11 /12 when you all head to bed, he sleeps on the sofa. As soon as your Mum comes down to do the dogs in the morning he can either….

A) Say good morning to your Mum, make you a cup of tea and offer one to your Mum (like a normal bloke)

or

B) If he is that overwhelmed, could he run up the stairs as soon as he hears movement upstairs and hide in your bedroom with his pregnant wife so he doesn’t have to speak to his mother in law?

No offence but you’re making this far too complicated - you can’t afford a hotel, there’s no space for an airbed, I completely get all that, I believe you. But if he’s a good man, the gentlemanly thing to do would be for him to take the sofa and let all the sisters have a bed.