AIBU sleeping arrangement

Why the hell would someone spend money on a hotel when they have a family home they can stay in? The sheer selfishness of that attitude is honestly unbelievable.

And “sacrificing a night’s sleep” for your own pregnant sister isn’t some heroic act: it’s basic human decency.
Thank God you aren’t my sister. I would hate to discover that my own family couldn’t count on me for something as basic as a bed for one night.

This whole “getting pregnant is your responsibility, so why should I sacrifice anything?” attitude is pathetic. And the Mumsnet-style obsession with suffering; as if the more uncomfortable and miserable you make yourself, the better mother you are is just bizarre.

Family should be about helping each other when you can, not keeping score over who is inconvenienced. If giving up your bed for one night feels like some enormous personal sacrifice, I genuinely feel sorry for the people who have to rely on you.

You and H have the double bed, one parent sleeps in their own lounge and one sleeps in a single bed.

Looking at yours and your sister's ages, they are not in their 70s/80s - probably about my age (late 50s early 60s) I happily sleep on an airbed or the sofa when visiting DC so I am sure they can to help their pregnant daughter

Honestly sounds like you are better off visiting a different weekend.

Why should your sisters be put out for your DH? And no, it's not for you... its because you are too uppity to have DH sleep on sofa. Yes, it might be a walk-through - he can wear PJs.

I'd be embarrassed to be calling mh sisters selfish over this

Come on though, some b&bs or hotels can be £50. That’s not going to make or break whether you can take mat leave and surely you can make economies in other areas before then babies arrive? Have you even looked into this? If necessary get DH a single room in a nearby b&b.

In fairness to OP, it depends where her parents live. My parents live in a "popular seaside resort". It means that any times that we might want to visit (weekends, school hoilidays) accommodation costs are all stupid money. Yes, I could afford it but I'd rather sleep on the sofa and not spend the money.

It seems far too much fuss. Just don’t go.

The fact that people genuinely don’t think a sister should give up her bed and room for her pregnant sister is shocking. I would literally force my sister to take my bed, even if it meant I had to sleep on the floor.

OP has a bed though!! Giving up your bed and sleeping on the floor for your brother in law is hardly the norm.

So it’s ok for your sisters to be uncomfortable but not your husband? Regardless off whether they still live there or not the bedrooms are their childhood bedrooms and beds, you’re not entitled to just take one of them. Your husband is the extra person so either he or you need to take the sofa…if you don’t think he should take it because he needs to go to bed early or whatever ridiculous excuse you’re making up this time, then pregnant or not you’re going to have to take the sofa.

Yes sorry I agree with this. There is no reason it should be your sisters and not your husband - especially as it is to accommodate you, his wife.

Go on the train.

Or get your DH to drive you there, have lunch/dinner, come home, and collect you again the following weekend so you have the week with family you’d originally planned.

Or spring for a hotel this time, as you will have to every time going forward.

This all smacks of main character energy now you are the very important married sister expecting the hallowed first grandchildren, who should be deferred to by the barren, unwed sisters.

In reality it means you should start problem solving like the adult soon to be parent you are.

I understand why it's more appropriate for your sisters to sleep on the sofa than your husband - it's about being at ease. My son used to sleep on the sofa when my mil came to stay, but she started getting up really early and sitting downstairs with him while he slept and he found it really uncomfortable because she entered our lives when he was 10 so he doesn't 'know' her well enough to be vulnerable and sleeping around her. Same applies to your husband in this scenario - it's just not comfortable. I don't mean, physically comfortable.

Your sisters are both being absolute arseholes given the fact you're pregnant with twins and your husband is more of a 'guest' than either of them. I'd just let the one saying 'well I won't come then' stay at home because she sounds like a particularly big arsehole.

You need your own bed. Your husband needs a room with a door on it. They're being twats. YANBU.

oh god, yes, absolutely awful. A grown man losing out on an hour or two of sleep one night of the year. 'Finally rest' - it's an evening in with his in laws, he's not collapsing exhausted after a 12 hour shift down the mine!

You might want to get a sense of proportion before the baby arrives OP, or you'll be stressed out of your wits at every cough.

You want to have your cake and eat it.

If you’re taking a full year off for mat leave, you can afford a budget hotel; you are simply choosing not to spend your money on that.

You can’t expect others to sacrifice their sleep because of your financial choice !

Actually, bollocks, . You can afford a hotel. Your husband got an inheritance and you're using that to do up an old house. Don't tell me there isn't £200 for two nights for a cheap hotel

You can get a cheap hotel for a lot less than that. I just paid £85 for two rooms at a premier inn.

I think it’s fine for your husband to sleep on the sofa. You keep referring to him as a guest but actually he is family too.

I don’t know what privacy he needs while sleeping, I wouldn’t be fussed about sleeping on a sofa and my in laws walked through. If anything it’s your sisters who lose more probably - for getting changed your husband can go back to your room. If your sister is on the sofa, she has to change in the lounge.

“Why does your husband need more privacy than your sister?” — Maybe because he’s not the one who grew up there and came out of their mother?

The fact that people genuinely don’t think a sister should give up her bed and room for her pregnant sister is shocking. I would literally force my sister to take my bed, even if it meant I had to sleep on the floor.

This whole “getting pregnant is your responsibility” and “why should I give up my space?” attitude is honestly disturbing. When did we become so selfish that family members are willing to treat each other worse than animals? It’s incredibly sad.

OP, twins are going to be a shock to both you and your husband.
So honestly, don't be stressing about him so much.
Tiredness and discomfort are a real factor of the first couple of years.
Enjoy your last visit to your parents for what could easily be a while.
Ask your husband to suck it up is my advice.

I’m going to start by saying I have a singleton then twins and the twin pregnancy was significantly more difficult and really quite uncomfortable by 20+ weeks.

However, you can’t reasonably expect people to give up a bed for you. As I see it you have 2 options:

1. your OH can sleep on sofa (presumably he is father of your twins, so this seems pretty reasonable)

2. you get a hotel nearby

I mean if you can’t afford a hotel for one night, then you really are going to have a shock when realise how much twins cost.

Bit let’s be honest, the whole husband can’t sleep in the living room, no room fits an air mattress, can’t afford a hotel…. It’s all BS, you just want to vent on MN about your sisters & have everyone agree, I get it I’ve been pregnant 3 times, sometimes you just want people to be a little kinder you & your sisters aren’t being.

Op has a bed! Theres no need for her to sleep on a blow up bed in the living room other than being a martyr.
Jealous of OP’s unborn child is literally crazy given the only details we have about this scenario.

I was once meant to be staying with some family friends on holiday, we'd all contributed to the Airbnb and i was assured I'd be having a single bedroom. On arrival I was then told (not asked) that I'd be sleeping on the sofa because nobody else fancied not having a proper bedroom (not in so many words but that was the general gist) I was so pissed off I actually refused to stay in the house at all and stayed somewhere else that night. I was the only one not related to them and was absolutely not prepared to be in my pyjamas and have everyone gawping at me in the morning.

So yeah I get why you don't want DH to sleep down there. Your sisters are clearly not going to budge so either you sleep down there without any further discussion, or you and DH visit another time.

You have always known there is no room for an extra single mattress in any room.
You have always known the temperament of your two sisters and their inability to share.

Yet you still decided you would go and push the issue. It isn’t for your sisters to decide how to resolve this issue now that you can’t sleep with your husband in a single bed. It’s for you to quietly resolve before making arrangements to visit without making it into a difficult issue.

Doesn't this make your poor parents uncomfortable OP? Why on earth should they be faced with having to get a bigger house to accommodate you all, now you are all adults. What will happen when they all have chikdren. Will your parents be expected to provide for them all staying at the same time ?

Can’t you get a hotel room for one night or arrange to go see your parents when one of your sisters isn’t visiting, or can’t you sleep on the sofa … instead of making this into an issue ?

He sleeps on the sofa, they are his in laws not strangers. Sleeping in someone’s living room was normal when I was younger

Why aren’t your parents sorting out their ‘bed’ problems. This is not a one off situation as I would expect further visits where all three daughters attend. Put 2 x single beds into one bedroom for the sisters to share and someone buy a double bed for the other room. Of course I realise it relies on both spare bedrooms being large enough.