Page 20 | AIBU sleeping arrangement

strawberrylemons · 2026-08-28T09:13:21+00:00

I’m visiting my parents this weekend, as are my 2 sisters (we’re all adults 23,29 and 32). I’m bringing my husband, sisters are going alone. I’m currently 19 weeks pregnant with twins, this is relevant. all the bedrooms have a single bed in them, prior to pregnancy id just share with my husband and we’d have a bad nights sleep but get over it. Now im pregnant sleeping is a bit more uncomfortable and I need a pillow under my belly etc. so someone has to sleep on the sofa. I can’t make hubby sleep on the sofa because the living room is the walk way through to the kitchen so he’d have no privacy. So the options are for pregnant me or my sisters to go on the sofa. I’ve asked both my sisters if they’d give their bed up for me, they’ve both said no. My one sister even had a tantrum over it and said she just won’t visit if I’m going to take “her” bed (bear in mind she hasn’t lived at my parents house for 7 years). I’m feeling a little disappointed in my sisters and that they wouldn’t let their pregnant sister have a bed for a weekend. My parents have offered their bed to my husband and I as a result but it doesn’t seem fair as they are both older and need the bed too. Am I being unreasonable expecting someone to give up a bed for me? I would never ask at any other time in my life, it’s just one weekend during my pregnancy.

Moveoverdarlin · 28/08/2026 13:22

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 13:18

I was shocked by how many people think I’m being unreasonable, some people have a selfish attitude of “it’s not my problem so why should I make a sacrifice” where has this come from? even my sweet old nan (in her 90s) offered me her bed at her house saying she’d sleep on the recliner 😂
I know I may seem entitled and precious expecting someone to give up a bed for me while I’m pregnant but it’s one of those things I wouldn’t even have to think about if it were the other way round, which is why I didn’t think it would be an issue but it’s clearly upset a lot of people!

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No one is giving up their bed for you though. They are being told to give up their bed for a perfectly healthy, non pregnant bloke.

takealettermsjones · 28/08/2026 13:22

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 13:21

Absolutely, I think the best option is for me to be on the sofa to save the drama, it’s only a weekend I’ll live!

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So will your bloomin husband!!

IdentifyingAsAWoollyMammoth · 28/08/2026 13:22

I know I may seem entitled and precious expecting someone to give up a bed for me while I’m pregnant

NO! You want them to give up their bed for your husband, not for you! Why do you keep saying that when it's not true?

Two2TooAlsoToToward · 28/08/2026 13:21

Peedoffdoesntcutit · 28/08/2026 13:10

I always think it’s massively shitty when posters go back onto the OPs old posts! I have kids in private school- and this is used against me in numerous posts I’ve made- one about not being able to afford an 8k wedding abroad and another for a random bill of over 3k from a builder of ours trying it on. There logic is how can you afford that luxury and not have an unlimited budget for other things 🤣 ugh maybe because all my money is being spent elsewhere mate 🤣

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True. Multiple DCs in private school means you have LESS money for a holiday abroad (unless you’re a Branson, Jagger, etc). What did they want you to do—pull your DCs out for a term to go on holiday?

Original poster

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 13:21

PopcornKitten · 28/08/2026 13:14

OP, what I would suggest is that you have this sorted before you go on the visit. Don’t leave it until you get there. That has the potential to cause even more issues.

Absolutely, I think the best option is for me to be on the sofa to save the drama, it’s only a weekend I’ll live!

OP posts:

FirmSnake · 28/08/2026 13:21

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 13:18

I was shocked by how many people think I’m being unreasonable, some people have a selfish attitude of “it’s not my problem so why should I make a sacrifice” where has this come from? even my sweet old nan (in her 90s) offered me her bed at her house saying she’d sleep on the recliner 😂
I know I may seem entitled and precious expecting someone to give up a bed for me while I’m pregnant but it’s one of those things I wouldn’t even have to think about if it were the other way round, which is why I didn’t think it would be an issue but it’s clearly upset a lot of people!

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You're being unreasonable because there are clearly numerous solutions. But obviously you want a specific sister to give up her room.
If your nan is nearby can you have an airbed in her living room? Or is that an unusually shaped teeny tiny house too?

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 28/08/2026 13:20

@Moveoverdarlin

' You’ve made him sound like a wet lettuce. '

one of the best comments on this thread !

WildWindySeascape · 28/08/2026 13:19

Also the husband is family too, he is not some kind of special guest. They are all family now. The notion that he is a guest is so weird.

NewHere83 · 28/08/2026 13:19

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 13:18

I was shocked by how many people think I’m being unreasonable, some people have a selfish attitude of “it’s not my problem so why should I make a sacrifice” where has this come from? even my sweet old nan (in her 90s) offered me her bed at her house saying she’d sleep on the recliner 😂
I know I may seem entitled and precious expecting someone to give up a bed for me while I’m pregnant but it’s one of those things I wouldn’t even have to think about if it were the other way round, which is why I didn’t think it would be an issue but it’s clearly upset a lot of people!

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Oh my goodness, could you please STOP framing this as someone giving up their bed for you??? You have a bed!!!! You just want one for your husband as well.

WildWindySeascape · 28/08/2026 13:18

This is a no brainer. Husbands sleeps on the sofa so his pregnant wife can have a bed. Your sisters should not have to sleep on the sofa because you are pregnant. He doesn’t need privacy for such a short time, he is just sleeping and can use your room to get change. I think the OP’s priorities are really off here.

Original poster

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 13:18

LauderSyme · 28/08/2026 13:01

Holy Moly! I haven't read the whole thread but I have read all of OP's posts and plenty of others, and I think that's given me the gist of where many posters are coming from.

I am shocked by how many people think basic common decency and hospitality are luxuries that childish selfishness and entitlement can't afford.

I can't believe anyone would think OP is being unreasonable, let alone this many of you.

WTAF you guys?! Of course one of the Not-Pregnant-With-Twins sisters should relinquish her bed. Of course OP's husband should be offered a bedroom. He is a guest. The sisters are staying in their own family home, there is a big difference.

Shaking my damn head.

I was shocked by how many people think I’m being unreasonable, some people have a selfish attitude of “it’s not my problem so why should I make a sacrifice” where has this come from? even my sweet old nan (in her 90s) offered me her bed at her house saying she’d sleep on the recliner 😂
I know I may seem entitled and precious expecting someone to give up a bed for me while I’m pregnant but it’s one of those things I wouldn’t even have to think about if it were the other way round, which is why I didn’t think it would be an issue but it’s clearly upset a lot of people!

OP posts:

LauderSyme · 28/08/2026 13:16

"Family all muck in and work with what they’ve got"

Except, apparently, when the family is OP's sisters, whose sacred rights to privacy you are all, bafflingly, stampeding to defend.

TubeScreamer · 28/08/2026 13:15

Go without your dh?

PopcornKitten · 28/08/2026 13:14

OP, what I would suggest is that you have this sorted before you go on the visit. Don’t leave it until you get there. That has the potential to cause even more issues.

IdentifyingAsAWoollyMammoth · 28/08/2026 13:14

Peedoffdoesntcutit · 28/08/2026 13:10

I always think it’s massively shitty when posters go back onto the OPs old posts! I have kids in private school- and this is used against me in numerous posts I’ve made- one about not being able to afford an 8k wedding abroad and another for a random bill of over 3k from a builder of ours trying it on. There logic is how can you afford that luxury and not have an unlimited budget for other things 🤣 ugh maybe because all my money is being spent elsewhere mate 🤣

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I think it can be relevant. It's not, as OP originally claimed, that they can't afford it, it's a CHOICE that she doesn't want to spend the money.

She herself says this problem is not that big a deal yet makes a thread about it, comes back frequently and has a pop at people making perfectly reasonable and understandable suggestions, then admits it's partly to do with her belief that one of her sisters is selfish and how she wants her DH to be treated in her and her sisters' family home. DH is apparently happy on the sofa but OP is not happy on his behalf. It's bizarre

SunnyRedSnail · 28/08/2026 13:14

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 11:55

i planned to visit as its a bank holiday weekend so there’s more time, I wanted to go by myself for a week but I can’t drive due to fainting related to my pregnancy so hubby is coming too as he can drive!
as people need every little detail apparently, there is also a close family member who is unwell in hospital so I’m waiting to see them. So the trip is essential and it’s essential that both my husband and i go…

I didn’t realise how much detail I’d have to give, I honestly thought this was a boring post and wouldn’t get much interaction, but you mums are very invested 😂

im aware that in the future I won’t be able to stay at my parents, that really isn’t what this post was about x

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Do your parents have a garden? Could your DH camp on an airbed in a tent in the garden? More privacy than the sofa and its relatively warm at night still.

I have twins and every time they tried to scan me I would pass out! I had to he scanned on my side only.

Bringyourfoldingchair · 28/08/2026 13:14

You’re not asking them to give a bed up for you. You’re asking them to give the bed up for your husband.

Coconutter24 · 28/08/2026 13:14

ToKittyornottoKitty · 28/08/2026 13:09

Maybe read some of OPs replies as all this has been covered quite a bit

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I actually did read the replies and the fact they don’t want to because of money. However I’d still make it work if I didn’t want to sleep on a sofa

FirmSnake · 28/08/2026 13:13

LauderSyme · 28/08/2026 13:09

Why the fuck can't an adult female human without disabilities sleep on a sofa in her own parent's house for one weekend?

Why the fuck are these unknown sisters such precious, fragile flowers that some of you must suggest airbnbs and bunk beds and God knows what, instead of the obvious and simple solution? Unbelievable.

So there's a man who they all consider a guest, a visitor who they absolutely must not see sleeping. But the women must accept that this guest can walk in on them sleeping?
Where's the logic?

LejlaKapovic · 28/08/2026 13:11

I'm sorry, but you're being so unreasonable.

I can’t make hubby sleep on the sofa because the living room is the walk way through to the kitchen so he’d have no privacy.
But you can make one of your sisters give up THEIR privacy? Why do you think your sisters are less entitled to, or needy of, privacy than your husband is? In my world, women ALWAYS take priority when it comes to privacy. It should absolutely be your husband who goes on the sofa. That, or you need to bring an air mattress he can blow up and sleep on in your room, in the hallway...wherever he can squeeze in. But no, your sisters should not be on the sofa where you husband can walk in on them. No way. What kind of sister are you to think it's better for your husband to walk in on your sisters in night attire than the other way around?

So the options are for pregnant me or my sisters to go on the sofa.
Or, you could book a hotel nearby?

I’m feeling a little disappointed in my sisters and that they wouldn’t let their pregnant sister have a bed for a weekend.
You're being pretty manipulative right now. They are not denying their pregnant sister a bed, they are refusing to give up their dignity and privacy for your husband, because they are probably uncomfortable about the idea of being walked in on by your husband (a man they are not married to or related to) while they are in night dress.

My parents have offered their bed to my husband and I as a result but it doesn’t seem fair as they are both older and need the bed too.
It isn't. They keep their bed, you go to a hotel, bring an air mattress, or whatever. Or your husband stays at home - why doe she need to come? Your sister don't seem to be bringing men with them.

Comeondoreen · 28/08/2026 13:10

Neither you or your parents will “let” him sleep on the sofa? Does he have no say in this?

Moveoverdarlin · 28/08/2026 13:10

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 11:37

He would absolutely sleep on the sofa, I’m not saying that, he’s a good man, I’ve made him out to be a terrible husband without meaning to!

i think it’s my issue of wanting a guest (in this case my husband) to have a private room to sleep in. It’s just how it’s always been, whether it’s aunties or friends, doesn’t matter, I don’t feel comfortable having a guest in the living room, I want them to have their own space, and that’s how my parents feel too, they won’t have my hubby sleeping on the sofa while he’s a guest in their house.
I understand what other people are saying and I can see that I’m being difficult but it’s just how I feel so when people question it I’m just trying to explain that, not trying to argue against everyone’s suggestions for the sake of it, just explaining where my thinking is.

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You’ve not made him sound terrible. You’ve made him sound like a wet lettuce. Stop calling him a guest. He’s your husband. A son in law, a BIL, soon to be a Dad. He’s family! Not a guest you need to impress. Family all muck in and work with what they’ve got. Yes we get it it would be nice for him to have his own penthouse to retire to. But you said it yourself, you’re a normal family on a small semi.

Peedoffdoesntcutit · 28/08/2026 13:10

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 13:01

😂 that’s why we have no money!! If you read the post you’d see I said that the house needs to be ready for the babies, it is not suitable for children, it’s part of the reason why we have no money because the money is going on the house.

if I could afford a hotel I would stay in one. We wanted to go on one last holiday together just the two of us this year but decided it was better to put the money into mat leave and the house because our babies are more important than our comfort and us having a nice time.

if I booked a hotel and the complained I had no money next year you’d slate me for that. There’s no winning here. I’m trying to do what’s right by not spending unnecessary money and while there’s a home to stay in, of course I’ll go there over a hotel!

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I always think it’s massively shitty when posters go back onto the OPs old posts! I have kids in private school- and this is used against me in numerous posts I’ve made- one about not being able to afford an 8k wedding abroad and another for a random bill of over 3k from a builder of ours trying it on. There logic is how can you afford that luxury and not have an unlimited budget for other things 🤣 ugh maybe because all my money is being spent elsewhere mate 🤣

ToKittyornottoKitty · 28/08/2026 13:09

Coconutter24 · 28/08/2026 13:08

Can you ask one of your sisters to sleep in your bed if their room is bigger and say you’ll bring an air mattress for the floor? Your sisters shouldn’t have to give up their privacy so that your DH can have privacy because you’re pregnant. If that isn’t an option then get a hotel. What does your DH say about sleeping on the sofa?

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Maybe read some of OPs replies as all this has been covered quite a bit

IdentifyingAsAWoollyMammoth · 28/08/2026 13:09

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 13:01

😂 that’s why we have no money!! If you read the post you’d see I said that the house needs to be ready for the babies, it is not suitable for children, it’s part of the reason why we have no money because the money is going on the house.

if I could afford a hotel I would stay in one. We wanted to go on one last holiday together just the two of us this year but decided it was better to put the money into mat leave and the house because our babies are more important than our comfort and us having a nice time.

if I booked a hotel and the complained I had no money next year you’d slate me for that. There’s no winning here. I’m trying to do what’s right by not spending unnecessary money and while there’s a home to stay in, of course I’ll go there over a hotel!

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Although you suspected he'd put more money into his struggling company but he hadn't told you. Which might be part of the reason the house is taking so long and the camper van still isn't renovated as well as why there's no money for a cheap hotel so you can both be comfortable and no one is put out or feels awkward.

The fact you aren't involved jointly in finances that impact you as a family is rather concerning, let alone his propensity to start and not finish things.