AIBU sleeping arrangement

He could sleep in the car. Not entirely joking... 🤣

Well quite, this and the slightly opaque inheritance issues I imagine won’t be lost on the sisters!

Or you could stop being a dramatic martyr and let your husband sleep on the sofa. From what you've said about him, he won't mind.

There's a big difference between "would rather not but could be made to understand that this is obviously the best option" and "will not allow it and will kick us out!"

If he'd got on with renovating the camper he could have slept in there! 😆

My parents are the same too. Luckily, DM owns the house, so should be a capable woman in delegating where all of her guests sleep, rather than letting her daughters turn it into a bunfight.

I don’t get a choice re: sleeping arrangements chez my parents or DH’s parents—they choose where the guests sleep. Actually…I do get a choice: take it or leave it.

I'm curious, what is the room setup downstairs if it's a standard 3 bed house turned into 4 bed?
In my experience, a house with 2 double rooms and a box room upstairs would have 2 decent size receptions and a kitchen. Can you explain how it's not possible to screen off part of the downstairs to at least make whoever is sleeping on the sofa be out of sight?

What is the plan when the twins arrive? You know you should have them sleeping in the room with a parent while they're little?

For goodness sake it has nothing to do with materialism! The husband can sleep on the sofa, an airbed in the lounge on the floor next to his wife! Or use some
of his apparent inheritance to book a hotel
or renovate a camper van that they seem already to own. Why should a sister
in her own family home give up her bed to her brother in law? So he’s sleeping next to her knickers, books, personal medication, maybe even sex toys and love letters when there is absolutely no need for her to do so?

“Husband doesn’t want to be asleep on the sofa when my mum walks through in the morning but if that happened with my sisters and I it wouldn’t mean anything because it’s our mum.”

Sorry, OP, but you’re making this an excuse. It wouldn’t worry me as MIL if any of my sons-IL were asleep in a sofa and I had to (drumroll) walk past them in the morning, and I doubt it would bother them, either. The bottom line is: three bedrooms, three sisters - you get one each, and it’s up to you how you choose to sleep in them. It’s not fair for you and DH to have two rooms and one of your sisters not to have a room. You seem obsessed with the fact that your DH is a “guest” - he’s not, he’s family. He will soon be the father of twins - how much more family can he be? I’m sure your DM has seen a sleeping man before, and that DH will cope with his MIL seeing him in his pyjamas. Just let him sleep on the sofa and be done with it.

This

OP has said her mum won't allow her DH to sleep on the sofa. My mother is the same.

You're not asking people to give up a bed for you. You HAVE a bed.

…and while there’s a home to stay in, of course I’ll go there over a hotel!

That’s the point.
There isn’t a home to stay in. You have outgrown it !
You are no longer children squashing up together.

So if you must go visit at the same time as your sisters, stay in a hotel!
It isn’t your sisters’ problem to solve. It isn’t your parent’s problem to solve either.
You can’t have it all ways OP.

Course that's the best option, to have everyone up in arms that your sisters treated you so badly. The way this will actually play out is that you've created so much drama your sister will stay at home and everyone will remember it as the time your sister missed seeing ill relative because either your husband wouldn't sleep on a sofa for his pregnant wife or because you decided your family unit required 2 bedrooms so your sister couldn't have one.

I’ve read the whole thread. I understand there is a female family culture of self sacrifice. I think it’s a good time to stop that now.

guests don’t need better/more etc than other people. Men don’t need better or more than other people (read women)

it is an obvious situation where it is most appropriate for the husband to sleep on the sofa because the pregnant wife shouldn’t and no one else should be expected to sacrifice for this able bodied male family member

i understand that you (op) have made sacrifices for your sisters in the past. That’s nice, it your choice. No one should expect it if you, and I suggest that right now as you start building your own family you put down the concept of self sacrifice because it leads to a life time of not being supported and feeling martyred.
as your pregnancy progresses and when the babies come you are going to need support and your husband needs to accept some inconvenience and shared load to support you and your babies.

put him on the sofa and don’t even worry a jot about it

i bet he’s slept on the sofa at loads of mates houses in the past, surely

this reminds me of the old thread about ‘penis portions’ where families feed the men the biggest portions and the best bits of meat and women go without

For goodness’ sake, OP don’t be a martyr and sleep on the sofa while your husband takes the bed. That is silly. Is there a cultural reason why you are putting his needs above yours and your sisters’ needs? I really don’t understand this. In my world, women would be given priority for bedrooms and a bloke would be fine on the sofa (or an air mattress in the sitting room if he is too tall).

Dickpandering. Love it! But so true and not needed

Your husband should be on the sofa

Hang on though, I don’t think this is actually accurate. You have a bed. Your own bed. If you genuinely had nowhere to sleep then I think the answer might be different. It’s only because you/ your parents won’t let your DH sleep in the lounge that this is an issue. And I can see why your sisters are not best pleased.

Honestly though just go another time. The house isn’t big enough for everyone unless your DH sleeps on the sofa so you need to make another plan. Don’t try to force your parents to make your sisters share, that’s not fair.

All the bedrooms can't be box rooms?

Swap rooms to a bigger one, your sister can sleep in the box room, and then get an air mattress on the floor for husband

Op, as others have said your parents just do not have the space or the beds to accommodate 4 guests.
You all need to stagger your stays.
Best of luck with your pregnancy.

This.

Im sure he will cope for a few nights. In all honesty as a fellow twin parent then you will both have to make sacrifices and compromises going forward. Being a mummy martyr e.g. sleeping on the sofa yourself isn’t the best way to go

So basically you want to centre your husband above your sisters, and are annoyed that they're not joining you in the dickpandering.

Maybe for you or your family.

I don’t prioritise my bed, my comfort or my personal space over people — especially not family, whether they’re related to me by blood or not. The fact that some people genuinely see giving up a bed for a family member as some huge sacrifice says a lot.

I guess materialism has taken on a whole new form these days: people are so attached to their possessions and comfort that they’d rather protect a mattress than show basic compassion to their own family.

But they wouldn't be giving up a bed for you

They'd be giving up a bed for your husband.

There's a big difference.