AIBU sleeping arrangement

I’m far too invested in this but I want to know what happens at bedtime tonight - I’ll be very surprised if the family allow pregnant with twins op to take the sofa and the rest of them have beds!! Op please let us know who ends up on the sofa.

Do none of the bedrooms fit a camp bed?

You do realise that your attitude is what's triggered the reaction on this thread? That should be valuable feedback and insight for you.

Surely no decent husband would agree to take the proper bed while his pregnant wife sleeps on a sofa!!!

I’d be more concerned about the husband’s behaviour than the sisters.

OP, you are right that this has touched a nerve with a lot of mums because many of us know what male entitlement feels like and have had to fight against it in our lives, and it gets harder after having children. If you don’t really care or find our reactions a bit amusing then that is one thing, but many of us really do care a lot and we look out for other women too. Mumsnet can be brutal but there are also a lot of women on here who are looking out for the interests of other women. Believe it or not, we are supporting women.

Camp bed in your room. But maybe your parents should upgrade to a guest bed - narrow single with a bed underneath to pull out and zip to the top mattress.

I think there’s some internalised misogyny here too, not just ‘I’m so special’ which is definitely part of it. Hopefully OP will wake up a bit before raising a child!!

It's not that people don't believe you, it's that you're rejecting every option that causes a little bit of inconvenience. Unfortunately the fact is that, unless you have the money to do whatever you want, you will have to compromise on something.

Even in a box room there is space to walk down the side of the bed to get in it. Maybe it wouldn't fit a mattress, but it would probably fit a few camping roll mats and a normal sized human...

In which cultures is a husband a guest?

Coming in a bit late here, but honestly @strawberrylemons I can't imagine any bedroom in any house anywhere - ever that would not fit a single airbed in it. Is the room 4 feet wide? You appear to be poo-pooing all suggestions, and posts that aren't 'yes one of your sisters needs to give up her bed for your DH!'

Get a hotel room for the two of you. Travelodge or something. I think it's mad that you share a single bed normally anyway. How hugely uncomfortable that must be for 2 adults!

!

A small open plan bungalow really can't accommodate 6 adults comfortably. No wonder nobody wants to sleep on the sofa.
I really think uou need to sort yourselves out if he cant squeeze into your room.

OP, for goodness sake, please stop framing this as someone giving up a bed "for you". That is clearly not how your sisters see it and I would agree with them.

As the single one in my family, I am well used to being the one to sleep on sofas/blow-up beds/wherever. However, in this situation, there is no way I would be giving up my bed in my childhood home for my BIL. Of course i would for my pregnant sister, but not my BIL and this is the situation presented here. He is a grown man and all the reasons you give here do not exempt him from kipping on the sofa for a few nights.

If that really is too much for him, then the only solution is he drives you up, drops you off and drives home. Then picks you up the next weekend. A ten hour drive isn't great, but it's not impossible, unlike all the other solutions that have been suggested here.

I genuinely don’t think I can explain this to you. If you come from a non-Western culture, giving up your space for guests is completely normal.

And if she moved out seven years ago but still chooses to keep her sex toys at her parents’ house, then sorry, but that is genuinely creepy. At that point, it’s not just “her stuff” — it’s bizarre that she apparently thinks her parents’ home is still an appropriate place to store intimate items after all these years.

You're the one being rude!! She was clearly saying that you won't be able to visit your parents if none of the bedrooms have room for a cot as well as a bed.

This whole thread stinks of but Meee I'm special! And it hasn't gone the way you expected. No wonder your sisters find you irritating.

Your husband 100% takes the sofa in this situation. It’s normal for guests. Plus your sisters are far more vulnerable if your DH walks through than the other way round. What about their privacy? Women are more vulnerable than men, it’s not the same thing. And even if it was - why does your husbands matter more? Why should they leave their beds for this? You sound really dramatic.

Here are your options as I see it:
you on the sofa
your DH on the sofa
or you just don't go at all
Your sisters are not going to budge, whether you agree with them or not, so you're going to have to pick one of the 3 options above
No amount of back and fore on this thread will change your sisters' desire to be in their own room rather than give it up for the circumstances.

Surely your DH wouldn't let you give up your bed to him whilst you sleep on the sofa?

I mean do that if you want to .. but its odd that you say you were used to giving up your bed when your mum used to kick you out so that her sister could have your bed when Apparently your sisters have never had to do this.. or if they did, do not feel as obliged as you do to give up your comfort for others.

But Dear @strawberrylemons sorry to labour the point, and for the pun, but you are pregnant with twins, having had a five hour drive to get there. This is the one time in your life when you should put your own comfort above that of others.
You know quite well that you would put them first if the situation was reversed.

It comes across to me that you are used to being the most accommodating person in this family. That you are trained to treat people "as a guest" because "its only polite" They don't seem to suffer from the same constraints.

It may go against the grain but you need to start being polite to yourself and treating yourself as a guest because it seems the rest of your family already do that for themselves. You are in danger of being overly obliging or giving in to others and you can get forgotten in the process.
That matters because when you have your babies, you will have to be firm about sticking to your priorities and making sure that they come first whatever anyone else says, which is harder if you are not used to occasionally putting yourself first.

This! OP - you have a bed and you absolutely should be in it as a heavily pregnant woman.

Your husband needs to step up and find a solution. None of which should involve turfing his pregnant wife onto the sofa.

The whole “guest” thing doesn’t apply when everyone is family (elderly guests aside). There is a pecking order in terms of entitlement to comfort with those who are elderly and with medical needs at the top. Youre at the top in this instance followed by your parents (age and their home). Your sisters and your husband tie for bottom and, given he’s the one without a bed, he needs to make-shift.

If you go and say youre sleeping on the sofa, one of your sisters will 100% step up and give you their bed. But the point is it will not be because they feel guilt & have realised the (perceived) error of their ways. It will be because they finally realise that your able-bodied husband is actually going to let his pregnant wife sleep on a sofa so he can be like Little Lord Fauntleroy in his own room.

Hang on, is this some kind of cosplay Mumsnet Cinderella? OP will be asleep in the fire grate whilst her ugly sisters languish upstairs when her Prince Charming appears, fully rested, in a magically renovated camper van pumpkin to rescue her?

I'm team hotel just to be clear. Or go for the day. Or get a train. I was still commuting into London 8 months pregnant, as did everyone I work with

Wouldn’t the OP’s husband be embarrassed turfing her sister out of a bedroom and onto the sofa so he could have a bed? Mine would be mortified.

The mothers objections weren't even mentioned until after several posts about how OP and her DH think he needs privacy more than her sisters do...