AIBU sleeping arrangement

Why, so that Lord Muck can stretch out nicely in the poor sister's bed?

I hope all goes well together anyway, OP. It sounds like it might be an emotionally tough weekend with the ill relative so do make sure you get enough rest and waited on a bit.

And give us an update on what happens too, please. Everyone is invested!

All of you are being ridiculous then, and causing this to be an issue.

Just because you feel it's not right doesn't mean it's not right. If anyone has to give up their bed for you it's him. He is family now. He's not a guest.

Well yes ideally one of your sisters would give up their room but I can see that this could be a way this is perceived by them as you and your husband being entitled and getting a single room each when one of them would need to sleep in the living room where they cannot go to bed when they want and may get woken at the crack of dawn by your mum letting the dogs out. You say you would do it but from the sound of it you have not except on holiday when everyone is in a new space not in a family home where they all have their safe familiar spaces. Personally if I was heavily pregnant and wanted to vist at the same time as them I would pay for a hotel or go on a different weekend when there would be plenty of space. I sincerely hope it is not one of your parents who is unwell and is offering to give up their bed. Also I wonder if you are overthinking your husbands reaction. He may be fine with sleeping on the sofa.

Because she enjoys the drama!

How are they anymore selfish than Ops husband he can sleep on a couch why do the sisters have to give up there beds?

OP you sound nice and are being very patient. You are not being entitled, precious or selfish. Yes your sister should give up her bed this one time for her pregnant sister who is currently struggling with fainting spells. Good Lord.

Would your mum and dad rather you slept on sofa / in living room, or your partner?

Personally if I were your mum I'd be telling one of the sisters they need to sleep on sofa.

I think you sound entitled...

OP, I think your family’s view on son in laws is a bit odd, and likely to keep them distant, but I’m not going to change that from the internet.

You and mum and sisters can start saving for bunk beds in at least 2 of your old rooms plus sofa bed in the living room. You can visit with the babies if you are on the sofa bed and the babies are in safe sleep spaces in the living room too. That’s what my family has done on holidays. So your family can keep having everyone together if they don’t mind squishing in. I suppose if multiple sisters have kids too young for beds, then the brothers in law can stack up on bunk beds while sisters and kids go in the living room.

It also seems like your family might be a bit stuck in terms of who gives up space? In most families I know, grandparents/senior relatives get the best sleeping spots, whether that is giving up a space or them not moving. Adult guests might come before adult children but a son in law wouldn’t be a guest for that! Maybe you’d give him the better chair to sit on. And kids get kicked out of rooms and chairs willy nilly. Babies get better priorities than kids and young adults. In my family we’ve seen some issues as generations change- no mum you’re over 60 don’t give up your chair/the best bedroom. And nieces hanging onto baby status a bit too long kicking me (auntie) into sleeping on the floor etc.

Usually you try to keep married couples together but when you can’t, the 19 weeks pregnant one gets the best spot. So especially with a last visit to a loved one I can clearly see why your sisters won’t budge for your DH.

Is a car converter possible like this one? If there is a drive he could park the car on it? You could have it delivered to your parents, chuck pillows and duvet in the car and he can disappear when he's had enough familiying!
I had a tiny bedroom growing up OP - can't believe a lot of people don't get that. We had no spare room so I could never have friends for a sleepover.

What about getting a bunk bed (to replace the single bed)? It’ll be handy for the grandkids in a few years’ time too.

Do you really want to go and spend the weekend with these selfish sisters of yours? Can't believe they would happily let you sleep on a sofa given you are pregnant with twins.

Can't you and your H visit when they won't be there?

Also, if the single room is big enough for a single bed and a walkway beside it, it probably is big enough for a double bed (with no walkway) TBH.

But also I do think you’re minimising how this might be really upsetting for your sisters if they are there to see a very unwell
relative- maybe they are more upset than you think and can’t face not having a bit of personal space for the weekend? Because it’s not just the nights, they also don’t have a place to retreat to (for a bit of space, maybe even a bit of a cry) in the day either if your DH is in the room.

i think it’s my issue of wanting a guest (in this case my husband) to have a private room to sleep in. It’s just how it’s always been, whether it’s aunties or friends, doesn’t matter, I don’t feel comfortable having a guest in the living room, I want them to have their own space, and that’s how my parents feel too, they won’t have my hubby sleeping on the sofa while he’s a guest in their house.
I understand what other people are saying and I can see that I’m being difficult but it’s just how I feel so when people question it I’m just trying to explain that, not trying to argue against everyone’s suggestions for the sake of it, just explaining where my thinking is

Fine, but your parents and your thinking is quite batshit. The thing that would solve the situation is a sofa bed. None of this ridiculousness such as your parents having to move, but a top class sofa bed. Then you, at 19weeks pregnant with twins, you could happily use it. I have slept on a few sofa beds that were much better than standard beds, you just have to throw a few $$$ at it, which arguably is cheaper than moving to a larger house. So, if you and your parents want to treat your DH like a princess, get the sofa bed to facilitate this.

As for everyone staying up late, and he likes to go to bed early tough luck for a week, he can tough that out surely. I’d be embarrassed if that was my husband.

Really? My grandmother lives a long way away, we visited recently. This is only the second time my husband has met her. He absolutely got up to deal with her dogs (and other animals!) whilst he was there - not to solve a logistical problem like OP’s, but just for no other reason than why would he not help her whilst he was there?

That’s the way most men I know are. I don’t think my husband is uniquely helpful or kind.

I don’t understand what’s so intimate about letting some dogs out that it requires a close relationship, anyway.

I find it mind boggling that people are so often so standoffish with their own families, in laws or blood relatives.