AIBU sleeping arrangement

I think DH should sleep on the sofa, no need for anyone to move out of their bedrooms.

Why can’t you take a camp bed?

That's quite a drip feed that you are taking your dogs with you too - note the plural not just one dog.

Took until page 19 ? before you mentioned your dogs

before that it was the dog needs to be let out in the morning etc.

So as these are your dogs

Why can't the limp lettuce / prince of a man who clearly sleeps naked and wanks all night and needs to go to bed by 10 pm to get a full 8+ hours sleep and not get disturbed by the dog going out early

sleep on the sofa bed ?

rather than the above, you will be the martyr and sleep on the sofa whilst pregnant with twins...

Husband on sofa
he can wear night wear
what is the problem ?
or leave him at home

I don’t think it’s cultural. I’m white and my parents treat my DH like a guest, as they would aunties, etc etc. The house is in “guest mode”—ie nobody walking around in underwear or doing any other habits that you do in private.

We do the same when my parents come for a week at Christmas—meals are more upscale, the fancy glasses come out for drinks, the wedding serve ware is used, etc. (Not just Christmas Day, but for the entire visit—we would do the same any other time of year.)

I get that the rooms are small, i have a 3 bed with a box room but it would still fit an air mattress in there- i also built my 2 older kids bedrooms in summer houses (smaller than the box room) and DS has sleep overs and can fit an air mattress in- we have to take out his computer chair and lay the mattress diagonally but it just about fits.

@Redhotspicywine

The OP has been asked a few times whether there is a cultural issue and she hasn’t answered. I’m assuming that there is because this whole husband as a guest vs family thing seems unusual to me, along with the idea that DH needs privacy and the OP’s insistence that either she or a sister sleep on the sofa instead of her DH. Prioritising male comfort over her own or her sisters’ seems very much like something cultural.

Would you genuinely be more comfortable if you slept in your BIL’s childhood single bed while he slept on the sofa, because he travelled back to his parents to visit a very I’ll relative?

FGS, stop calling him hubby, for starters. Does anyone use this word in real life?

Yabu. I had this recently and insisted we get a hotel. It isn't fair on older people to decend on their home and overwhelm it. A cheap hotel is the answer, but you object to that due to the cost. But you chose to get pregnant, your sisters have done nothing wrong? Why should they be inconvenienced by your choices?

It is a chat forum after all, not a court room.

Is there a cultural difference going on here? I can't see any of my family having this 'guest' thing about a married in husband but my friends family would and she's from an Indian family.

This. If I put myself in OP’s DH’s shoes…of my DH took me to my MIL’s house, where he and all of his siblings slept in bedrooms, and I was told to sleep on the sofa under the guise of either being a spare part who wasn’t technically invited, or “you’re family too now, so you can muck in and deal with it—you’re not a guest after all,” I would be very uncomfortable.

utterly insane. husband on the sofa for one night. doubt he'll give an S.

Why are you calling your husband a guest? Isn't he family?!

A tent in the garden. If your sisters are all arguing he can easily move it a few miles down the road and enjoy some peace!

I’m not confused by you calling it a house…houses come in all shapes and sizes.

I think DH on the sofa is best, what is he going to be doing thay he needs such privacy

Why did your parents not buy bunk beds before seeing as presumably you've been married a while...

If your nan lives nearby can she not fit an air mattress, you've left this too late when it was going to obviously be a problem.

We had a bit of a family argument one Christmas when one of my sisters refused to sleep in a single bed when she was the only ones who partners wasn’t their that Christmas. None of us have lived at home for years but the single bed was not in her old bedroom. In the end we just put a double air bed up in the lounge.

That was Christmas so we had to go but it did put a bit of a bad vibe on the day, so maybe just go and see your parents at another time.

I would get an inflatable camping mattress for your husband not an air bed! They are generally only 50-60cm wide and can be really comfortable for under £30 and they fold down tiny (we have some that only weigh 500 grams). Your parents should probably have a couple of these because they are versatile. You can easily just rest it against something or roll it up in the morning. My husband doesn't even fit on our sofa lying down because he's so tall so we'd have to find an alternative.

"I can’t make hubby sleep on the sofa because the living room is the walk way through to the kitchen so he’d have no privacy. "

"Am I being unreasonable expecting someone to give up a bed for me? I would never ask at any other time in my life, it’s just one weekend during my pregnancy."

You are being unreasonable.

You are not "expecting someone to give up a bed for me", for starters, and it's disingenuous to pretend that. You are expecting one of your sisters to give up their bed for your husband, because you consider him incapable of sleeping on the sofa.

"he’s a guest in that house so I don’t feel it’s right for him not to have the privacy, he’s not refused, he doesn’t even know the situation. I want him to feel comfortable in the family home that’s all"
He is also a husband to one of the daughters of that house and therefore family.

"I think my frustration stems from the fact that id give up my bed for my sisters without hesitation! "
Since you're not being asked to do so, we'll never know if you would.

"He hasnt refused, not at all, I’ve made that decision for him. I refuse to let a guest, in the family home, sleep on the sofa."
Is it really your place to make this decision for him? Is he not a functional adult?

"yes to some people this seems like I’m being difficult but making guests feel welcome is so important to me, I won’t argue it anymore."
I am obviously one of the 'some people' - I think you're being difficult for a spurious reason.

"i think it’s my issue of wanting a guest (in this case my husband) to have a private room to sleep in. "
At last! Yes, this is YOUR issue. And you don't get to make it your sisters' or your parents issue.

Just sleep on the damned sofa, Derek!

Well they are blood relatives and all women. If I was OP's H staying in a house with my in-laws I wouldn't feel comfortable sleeping in a public room with all her sisters, and her parents , coming in and out. If that's the house they grew up in they will be much more at ease in a situation like that than OP's H.

This.

Such drama. He can sleep on the sofa, or you can get a hotel room.