AIBU sleeping arrangement

How was the weekend @strawberrylemons? I’ve read your updates and still feel they would be unreasonable to not give up a bed for you as the pregnant one but your dh should absolutely have slept on the sofa.

I wonder if they are home now? Hopefully, they were able to get there early and put up an addition to the "family home". Perhaps an extra two bedrooms and another bathroom? I am pretty sure this was the only suggestion NOT offered to the OP. 😄😉

The parents have 3 x daughters and 3 x former daughter rooms.

Why would they give one visiting daughter two of those rooms and risk alienating the other daughter/s?

I think the parents are sensible not to get involved in OP's nonsense of treating her husband like a guest. He's part of the family and as he doesn't have a disability, so he needs to make do.

Where did OP sleep??

I think we've moved on from that point to what happens going forward.

I dont know OP - youve prob made your husband out alot worse than he is.. which was prob not your intention....anyway - you can have the sofa i guess. And for when the twins come - prob a hotel room if thats possible. Good luck with sick relative.

They aren't being asked to give up a room to their pregnant sister - they are being asked to give up a room for her able bodied husband and his two dogs.

The same here. But to some MN#tters, once you grew up in a home, it is always the "family" home, it is always "your room/bed/duvet" and parents be damned! I have to wonder how much these "children" contribute for upgrades, maintenance and repairs to their "family home"? Actually, I doubt I need to wonder at all.
I wish my parents were still alive for many, many reasons, but right now, just to try the "family home" and "my room/bed" on them. They'd be laughing for a long time with that one. Then I'd get a bill for my share of the new roof. 😉

I agree. My parents would have said, "This is where you're sleeping". Their house, their rules and when you moved out, it was no longer "your room" and you were not the dictator of sleeping or sitting arrangements when you visited.

How ever did I live through that? 😆😎😉

Those same sisters will be screaming a different tune when they need someone to "be kind" to their needs.
As you've said, it's NABFD to sleep on a sofa and let a guest have the bed. Unless the sofa is made of cement block. Then I could see their hissy-fits as being more normal.

I'm just glad that I'm not the only reasonable and kind person (besides @strawberrylemons) on this thread. Thanks!

P.S. If I was your sister, I'd gladly give up my room for you. But then, I am nice, kind and sane. 😎😉😍

Ahh I'm glad you've said that, I'd walk over hot coals for my sister and her children 💕

I think the suggestion that adult children should now control how space is allocated in the parents house once they've moved out is very odd.

I truly think that is because they are so very unhappy in THEIR lives that it becomes their mission to try and make others equally unhappy in theirs.

The nice thing is, when your children are born, your room can be turned into their room with two little cots (hopefully) and you and your DH can then both sleep in the LR. Or, you can just visit at a different time than your sisters. Honestly, they sound as batshite as many of these MNers so none much will be lost.
P.S. If I was your sister, I'd gladly give up my room for you. But then, I am nice, kind and sane. 😎😉😍

Exactly. If the rooms are unoccupied, of course anyone can use them. But each of 3 sisters get first dibs on their own room each when all 3 visit at the same time.

I don't think sister is saying people can't stay in her childhood bedroom at any point - I think she's saying on this specific visit she's not prepared to give up the room she was already allocated and sleep on the sofa so that OP and her originally-not-visiting husband can have a room each.

Really? 😂

You wouldn't ever be forgetting, you must have a lot of time on your hands.

Her husband and sleep on the sofa or get a blowup mattress and sleep on the floor in her room or they get a hotel room.

Ooh a pop at me!

I don't think anyone's needs are more important. It seems fairly clear that as described by the OP (correctly or not), there isn't enough space for everyone at one time.

However one assumes that the parents will want their daughter, SIL and twins to visit at some point so will need appropriate space to accommodate them without one of the sister's complaining that they are using "her room". As described none of the rooms currently will take two cots (with the existing furniture) so it would make sense to make changes to allow the space to be more flexible and usable going forward for all of them.

So OP and her family need to book a hotel if there's not space for their family when they are all visiting together at the same time as her sisters. OP's needs don't trump her sisters! Why do you, (and indeed OP) think her needs must be met at the expense of her sisters? She's not more important than them.

And that's why I think the parents need to rejig and depersonalise the space, the sisters are all adult now and the space should be able to be used as needed. The babies will in time need their own space especially given the size of the rooms.

We all know that when she has the children, she'll expect her sisters to give up their bedrooms for the babies!

Especially since OP now says they're exploring bunk beds for the future. If there's room for an adult to club a ladder on the side of the bunk beds, there's enough of a walkway to put a small airbed down.

I actually do want to take OP up on her offer to photograph the three rooms! If there's room to open a wardrobe then there must be floor space for a husband in his sleeping bag. I call bullshit on the floor space thing.

There definitely won't be room for the children when they arrive so you might as well get used to staying in a hotel or only visiting when your sisters aren't or not visiting.

For the future, get bunkbeds put into one or two of the rooms.

You could even do that now.....checkout the facebook pages local to your parents also, Freegle, Freecycle and Nextdoor for offers of bunkbeds.

Theres usually someone willing to help or ditching stuff.

And you managed to miss her repeatedly explaining why she’s not getting a hotel? That’s quite a skill.

I did! I kept seeing her response about not having room for an airbed!

ps. Are you ok?