AIBU to feel heartbroken that my husband does not want another child?

78 replies

Poppy545 · 28/08/2026 10:13

Hi
I know it’s probably bad to feel better if other people are going through the same thing.
But I thought you might be able to help me deal with my feelings.
Long story short my husband doesn’t want another child. We already have 2. I’d like one more. I feel so so sad about it. Our children are 5 and 3.
We didn’t experience that idyllic newborn bubble with either of our children. First baby born in lockdown. Got an infection and was readmitted for 5 days.
Second baby had to have serious surgery at 2 weeks old so we didn’t get home until he was 3.5 weeks old. But then actually didn’t even go home as we went to live with my in laws as our house sale had gone through. I get on with them but they’re very overbearing and it was stifling.

I dream of my two eldest playing whilst their little baby sibling is snoozing in a bassinet in the lounge and having that newborn bubble everyone talks about.

can anyone please help me get over this, I think it’s making me depressed. I don’t feel like our family is complete but I also understand I can’t force my husband. He’s a great dad and husband so no issues there. He just feels like we’re complete.

OP posts:

mumsntt · 29/08/2026 01:11

newborn bubble? wtf are you on about

grow up

CharityShopMensGlasses · 29/08/2026 05:05

Poppy545 · 28/08/2026 15:34

I thought it would have been obvious that I don’t want a third baby purely to enjoy the newborn stage again.
I’ve always wanted a larger family. My husband always seemed on the fence so for him to be so against another is not what I feel I signed up for.
other reasons I’d like a third:

We have a large house so could easily fit another
we should be able to afford another child in the mix and still be able to have nice holidays etc

I just think if my husband was depressed over something I could solve like expanding the family I would do it!

Its really hard when our biological urges are so strong but I wouldnt push when hes so against it, you could have 2 years of resentment from him and that would be hard for the be child but also if it brike things between you, single parenting 3 is not easy. Be kind to yourself though, as this is painful, This biological urge will pass and there sadly is no guarantee of that newborn bubble especially with a bigger family theres more chance at least 1 kid or adult will have something going on that disrupts it..also baby 3 will be being woken up by 1 and 2. It can be a happy chaos, but definitely usually a very busy, noisy bubble. I think the newborn bubble is a first baby thing when the house is peaceful. But mine too was complicated so I do get wishing that time had been easier.
Of course you're not wrong to want a baby, but I always think you both really need to be in agreement to bring another person into the family, because it's so much pressure on you both, as well as wonderful and if they end up meaning life and the balance and dynamic of your home different if the other person wasnt in agreement in the first place can easily be very resentful. Theres no guarantee of a healthy child, or that the pregnancy would be just 1 child, so its a big commitment signing up to roll the dice again together and both need to be an invested team.

Laurmolonlabe · 29/08/2026 08:09

I think you want another one, at least in part, because the other two were not plain sailing. I'm not sure having a baby just because you want to feel that bubble is justified, I understand the feeling of sadness though.

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