AIBU to not want my parents to drive immediately after a 24-hour flight?

I think the number of people saying "I regularly fly for 48 hours without sleep and hop in a foreign car on the wrong side of the road and haven't died yet, man up!" is frankly fucking terrifying.

They need a car for their trip, they’re flying into an airport - one of the main places you can rent a car from. It’s completely illogical for OP to collect them and then them be beholden to OP driving them back to the airport in order for them to rent a car.
Do you even understand what controlling means?? They’re making a decision about their own journey, that’s not controlling. OP trying to dictate what 2 other adults do is controlling.

I think the number of people saying "I regularly fly for 48 hours without sleep and hop in a foreign car on the wrong side of the road and haven't died yet, man up!" is frankly fucking terrifying.

Regardless, I am really pleased they are coming to visit me! But I do personally feel they're coming to visit the country I live in slightly more than they are coming specifically to visit us

Ooh, this is a really horrible comment. My daughter lives in Australia. She went out there in 2024. We have visited once already and are now planning our second visit for next year. Both times we will stay in an AirBnb for around 5 days and see her and her DH, and then we set off to see other sights in Aus.

For us, you have to go for around 3 weeks to make the long journey worth it, so we either :

A) Stay with them for 3 weeks

or

B) Stay for around 5 days and then bugger off elsewhere

I honestly feel that option A would be suffocating for them, and that option B is a happy medium.

But rest assured, we are only going ALL that way because we want to see them!! If they weren't there, we would go on a beach holiday!!

Well, yeah, it is, a bit. My mum has basically decided that now we are grown-ups, we shouldn't want her input any more, and if we want her to know something, we'll tell her. She doesn't ask. I do message her now and again, and she comments on stuff on Instagram, etc., but she only really wants phone calls at Christmas and birthdays. I've had a lot of therapy over the years, and I've finally accepted that this is the relationship she wants with me, and there's not a lot I can do about it. It is sad that she doesn't want to be a bigger part of my life, but it is what it is. The other parent coming is my step-dad. When I see them we do get on (as long as we don't talk politics), but there is also a reason I didn't find it especially difficult to move away.

Regardless, I am really pleased they are coming to visit me! But I do personally feel they're coming to visit the country I live in slightly more than they are coming specifically to visit us. They won't stay with us, despite our offering, and they really don't want to spend that much time with us before they're off to everywhere else (places we haven't even visited yet!). I think my mum just has a thing about not wanting to impose or be nosy, and we've had it out with her many, many times about how this actually makes us feel, but as I say, it is what it is.

They are not saying with the OP so I don't see how it's a free stopover to recover from jet lag.

2.5 days…. So basically a free stopover while they recover from jet lag before commencing the real reason why they travelled 24 hours!

Only for a few days though!! Rest of the long haul holiday seems to be without the OP.

Ok this sounds like a thread I’d be interested in.

You speak to your folks just 3x a year… and yet they’ve flown 24 hours to visit you!

The mixed replies on this thread show that some people may be ok driving after a 24hr flight (plus faffing at airport either end) and some aren’t.

No, nobody's a superhuman. Lack of sleep affects reaction times in everybody.

It can't be made illegal because unless someone has obviously and undeniably fallen asleep at the wheel it's unprovable.

But the level of impairment from getting less than 5-6 hours of sleep is the same as being over the legal blood alcohol limit.

Most people would get away with it, just as most people would get away with driving after consuming an amount of alcohol that isn't enough to 'feel' drunk but is enough to slow your reactions and impair your observations.

But unequivocally nobody should be doing either of these. Unfortunately there are very many people who don't take the responsibility of driving nearly seriously enough and think that if they feel they aren’t impaired then that's what matters.

I should point out, I only mentioned their age because people would ask, I hardly think they’re old!

I am leaving them to it, what else can I do? But thanks for the range of opinions, very interesting really!

I voted YABU - I’m in my 60s and think you are writing them off a bit early. Save your concern for when they need it.

What class are they flying?

Business with a lie flat? I sleep like a baby

Renting a car is a gigantic waste of time and money if you can get a ride home for free. It makes virtually no sense unless you actively dislike your children and do not wish to see them at the airport.

As mentioned, I don't know of a single family across any culture or religion that would refuse a pickup by loved ones after an ultra long haul flight. There's something very weird with the dynamic here and the people normalising it.

And OP has a very valid point about tiredness. It sounds like a classic case of narcissistic family control where the parents do something deliberately risky to make their children worry and they refuse to compromise in the face of common sense. The subtext being if anything happens to them, it's still the children's fault.