AIBU for refusing a house on a roundabout or a flat?

I wouldn't live on a roundabout. Also, it has to be something you both like, not just him. If you don't like that house he needs to move on.

To right you're being picky.

Finding the right house takes time and is a major decision.

You want a home for your family and you're looking for a home that will work for your family now and in the future.

It very much sounds like your husband is looking for the first thing that will enable you all to move out of your parental home.

That's understandable from his point of view, but if it means that you're going to settle for something that one of you is unhappy with and that isn't going to work for you long term it's an absolutely pointless waste of time and money.

You need to be more proactive on finding a house

How do you know how proactive OP is already being?

If its not a forever home get some place "standard" and inoffensive and easy to sell

Roundabouts will put a lot of ppl off

Set your sights higher than living on or near a roundabout. You moved from a flat why would he want to go back to one.

He sounds like he wants to move at any cost.

You WILL find what you want.

Absolutely you are being picky - as is both of your rights!

I'd wait until the government is back Burnham is very keen to dump stamp duty asap. You'll kick yourself if you lose thousands by rushing.

I lived in a flat until the age of twelve, but...

It was a ground floor flat and we had our own garden. Space for a car if needed.

Just as good as having our own house - we were are the end of the terrace.

Don't automatically rule out flats. When I split with my ex, I bought a ground floor flat. It was freehold, not leasehold, and I was not responsible for any repairs to the roof on the flat above etc.

I had my own totally private garden that was larger than the one at the three bedroomed house I'd had with my ex and a conservatory.

There are flats and there are flats.

I think you do need to meet your DH in the middle OP, honestly I’d rather live in a box under a bridge than with my MIL (or my own Mother, in the interests of fairness and not just being anti-MIL).

YAB a bit unreasonable U about the flat. We live with our toddler in a spacious ground floor garden flat, share of freehold. I’d envisioned a house too but this is what circumstances have brought us, we’re lucky to have it and can afford to enjoy life a bit without being utterly crippled by a bigger mortgage.

Can’t comment on the roundabout situation without knowing more.

You’re on the same side.its not about the flat or the roundabout. It’s about needing to move out from your mil.

good luck this weekend. The right house is out there

Service charges are scary though. I’d love to downsize to a flat but the thought of having no control over that puts me off. Even sharing the leasehold isn’t safe from rises you can’t control.

No, a flat by a roundabout or any well-used road is a no for me, noise (people slowing and revving noises by roundabout) and the increase in fumes. Not good for children.

Hold on until you get something you both like. You both have to live there and one person doesn't get to chose above the other. It's a huge cost to keep moving so makes more sense to find something you like.

Meet in the middle. Parking and a house are reasonable non-negotiables, given that you can afford it. This doesn't mean it has to be your perfect forever home, and you should lower that standard a bit.

Fingers crossed one of the houses you see this weekend is suitable. Fwiw I see why you want freehold. Even share of freehold is a riskier option. I wouldn't want to go down that road if I had other options.

I would have a conversation about what your non negotiable and nice to have features are for a property. Your husband sounds keen to get away from the inlaws and have your own space, are your preferences reasonable for your budget? I would be annoyed if my partner was suggesting unsuitable properties but if they were all that was on the market in my price range I would hope my partner could be flexible so that we could buy something.

It’s a converted house, so more like a maisonette. That’s not the same as large flat developments which is what I was referring to you know?
But great for your DD that she’s found a lovely house that works for her and her family.

Roundabout- no way. I know someone who lived in a lovely house- virtually on top of a mini roundabout. It had parking, but was still difficult to get out of. People would ignore the roundabout. There was a fatal accident in front of her house. No yo a flat too if you can afford a house

I think the summer can be a bit quiet on the Estate agent front and more properties tend to go on once September hits.
Can you say to DH that your heart is set on a house that is not on a roundabout and you’d like to keep aiming for that for now but would be willing to discuss again at the end of September if nothing has come up?
Agree with others that he is probably desperate to move!!

I suspect that "the problem is not the problem" here.
You envision a certain life which is not unusual but maybe you are clinging to your vision in the face of reality?
How is your husband usually when you disagree?
What is it honestly like living with your Mum?
Is there REALLY only one possibility or is your husband so desperate to move out that he is picking anything?
Oh and FWIW I don't believe that "forever houses" exist. It may turn out to be, you may buy it on the basis that you think/want it to be but change happens in life, both good and bad and you can't always control it.

Well yes, it's a good idea to ring fence deposits if they are very disproportionate. But since we have no idea how much OP and her DH will be contributing to the deposit and whether this is using pre-marriage assets or not, you have no idea if this is worrying. OP might have had little equity in her flat and have no deposit to speak of, while her DH has loads of savings.

My SiL lives in a ground floor glass which opens to a lovely garden so it's not a hard no re flats. Check service charges, ground rent, years on lease etc.
But no parking which is awful
We moved from one house (on road parking) to another (has driveway) due to this. Carrying shopping, babies, pushchair into your home is a nightmare.
Personally I wouldn't live anywhere near a busy road.. Cars with modified exhausts, lorry's, horns can all wake sleeping babies.
Good luck

Def need parking ot a very quiet street with plenty of spaces, . That would be a non-negotiable for us.

Wouldn’t like living on a roundabout. Far too much beeping and annoyance.

Flat - really depends if it ground floor and you have a garden, plus I’d be wary of neighbours above making noise. I do have friends in flats who are fine, but also years ago when in a flat we had issues w downstairs neighbours (who thankfully moved and then we had lovely ones).

i’d go for a house if you can afford it, parking, not new build if possible (I live in one, never again).

Def look at catchment areas and the local high street. The market is flat atm, I know this as we’re trying to sell late MIL house.

I find the ‘we sold my flat’ sentence worrying. If the flat you sold was in your name, I hope you have kept the money separate and the new place will be in your name or you manage to ring fence that money. If you buy a new property I’d go and speak to a solicitor first to protect your deposit.

Make sure you ring fence your deposit if that's all you're putting down.

Sounds like maybe he's desperate to leave your mum's. But I wouldn't move into a flat to start a family and I wouldn't buy a house with no parking. You'll have to live there for a long time.