AIBU to feel worse after therapy for past trauma?

52 replies

NotSureThisIsWorking · 27/08/2026 21:37

Hi wise mumsnetters, name changed for this,

I am 35years old and I’m new to therapy.
I’ve recently (last 6 months) had a strange sort of resurgence of traumatic memories and very negative thought patterns. It’s not like I have just ‘remembered’ being these traumatic events relating to teen sexual abuse but I’ve somehow managed to just not think about them for years until now.

I know that an event where I didn’t feel safe at all about a year ago has brought this on.

I started feeling anxiety a lot of the day , racing thoughts especially at night, night mares and waking up to panic attacks, low mood, feeling shit about myself and like there is something wrong with me and an increase in disordered eating and wanting to control food. I feel like I’m falling apart basically.

For my own, and my kids sake, I decided to do weekly therapy before considering the medication route . I like my therapist and I feel safe with her. I find it very hard to talk about some of the trauma but I’m opening up slowly. I never cry in therapy, is that normal? She’s says it can be. I feel close to tears sometimes and I feel sick and anxious but I never actually get upset. I don’t know why. I’ve been going about 8 weeks.

My issue is that I feel AWFUL after. I cry a lot and just lay in bed, or I punish myself by going for a long run until I’m almost throwing up to try and block the thoughts out, I slept terribly that night and usually have a panic attack from the intrusive thoughts about the trauma.

I would like to know if this is normal ?? Or if I should stop …

OP posts:

GottaBeStrong · 28/08/2026 23:54

Just a thought -

I was diagnosed with cPTSD after a mental health assessment at my local psychiatric unit. I was immediately put on medication, because I was told I would not be able to engage with trauma therapy without being stabilised on medication first. Perhaps this is a consideration for you too.

I have been doing trauma-focused talking therapy since March and I have not experienced what you're describing. I usually feel positive and somewhat buoyant after my sessions. I have only cried once - and the reason I cried was actually super surprising to me as I didn't realise I felt that way/was grieving something. I do always feel as if I need to be alone afterwards for a while, but I don't feel distress. Sometimes I feel a bit exhausted from talking so much.

I don't think therapy should feel so uncomfortable as to be impacting your life in-between sessions so negatively. Do you feel you have a good connection with the therapist? Perhaps you could find someone who is a better fit.

Lastly, I find journalling in-between sessions helps, as I can take a longer time to process things we have discussed. Sometimes, through journalling, I will come up with something else I want to talk about at my next session. Again, might be worth a try.

Original poster

NotSureThisIsWorking · 29/08/2026 11:36

GottaBeStrong · 28/08/2026 23:54

Just a thought -

Thank you. I picked up the medication and I’ve made a start taking it. It feels daunting but I spoke to a friend about it and I feel a little better. I think I just need help with the rollercoaster of emotions I’m feeling at the moment.

it’s been almost a week since my last session and I now just feel a bit empty and flat. I’ve tried journalling and writing down a few thoughts across the week but it feels strange!

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